The Ultimate Springtime Fling Checklist: 8 Tips to Refresh Your Marriage Heading into the Summer Season

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Hey, thanks for joining us today to get your weekly dose of Married and Love it your booster shop for the week.

And today we'll be talking about a marriage fling with your spouse.

Are you having one and eight tips for a successful fling?

Well, in March newsletters we did several issues about a spring fling with your spouse.

And so today's episode is a follow up and a checklist to those eight tips.

But let me just remind you to sign up for our newsletter and the link to get into the newsletter is going to be in our show notes.

Okay, so here we are.

The holidays have passed and the new year routines have settled in and Valentine's Day is a distant memory.

And it's easy for love and romance to fall into a routine and the monotony of daily life resumes.

Boring.

Boring.

That's right.

This can lead to a marital drift and your marriage could then lead to the roommate syndrome.

We don't want that to happen.

This is why in March we had the series have a spring fling with your spouse, because as spring approaches, it's a great opportunity to refresh and add spark to your marriage.

Plus, and that that comes off that springtime is new beginnings.

New beginnings.

And that's what we wanted to get across when we had that thinking about a springtime fling as it's a new beginning, just like the flowers are beginning the bud and and all that type of stuff is going on.

It's a good time and it's not too far from Valentine's Day to get that romantic life going on.

A fling where you're lovers and not roommates.

Because it happens so fast after two or three months, like we said, that the monotony of everyday life starts kicking in and soccer season starts up or baseball season if you've got little kids.

And before long you're back on that marriage roommate treadmill.

What is that little wheel everybody goes around the little rodents and stuff treadmill thing, whatever it is.

You know what I'm talking about.

We don't want that to happen.

No.

Well, plus also, the romance plays a major part in keeping your marriage fresh and exciting.

But you know what?

It takes effort and it takes creativity to thrive.

Well, it's time for a spring fling with your honey.

So that's why we said it's time for a spring fling back in March.

So now it's almost June.

A couple more weeks, it's going to be June.

So summertime's coming.

So what we wanted to do is do a little checklist of some of the things we covered in that newsletter that we did back in March.

There was three episodes we did, and then pick up and piggyback on some of the other podcast titles that we covered.

So we can review a checklist, and we're going to name eight of those main topics that we covered.

And as we review those, you can just.

We're going to do a little checklist.

You can go number one.

Oh, I did that.

Oh.

Number two.

Oops, I didn't do that one very well.

Number three, A little bit, but you can go through.

And let's.

Let's see how you're doing on your spring fling.

Because what we're trying to do is get these habits going.

Yeah.

And lifestyle going.

Of romance and being lovers and not just roommates as you head into the summer months, because it's got its own distractions going on.

And that's the time you can really be having a great affair with your spouse and having a little fling.

So that's what we're going to do.

And so just listen to what.

As we're listening to these different tips that we get through, just do a little mental check off.

Yes, I'm doing that one.

No, I need to work on that one.

And then at the end of the podcast, we'll talk about how to apply that.

All right, you ready?

Let's go.

Here goes.

Number one.

Oh, I love checklists.

Oh, you do, huh?

Yeah, that's right.

My to do lists are so fun.

I love getting to check everything off.

So, okay, so I actually could have.

Called this list Honey do list.

A honeydew.

The original honeydew list.

Yeah.

All right, so number one, and we just talked about this recently, I think on one of the newsletters it says, have you or did you call your spouse on the phone at any time?

And this is not a text, it's not a note, and did you say, I just called to say I love you?

And nothing else.

Nothing else.

Maybe as it said.

Now this is this is a song.

I know you've heard this by Stevie Wonder from probably the 70s where he, he has a song.

He says, I just called to say I love you, and I'm not gonna sing it.

I'm not gonna sing it.

I love you.

Oh, thank you, dear.

There so.

But that's all he did.

He says, and.

And let you know that I really care.

He.

And he goes through.

Check out the song if you haven't heard it in a while.

It really makes a lot of sense just to call and say I love you.

I know.

The other day I was thinking, I wanted to send.

I was thinking about this and I wanted to send Linda a text or just say I love you.

And I said, no, I'll just do a text.

And you know what?

Anybody can do a text.

I said, I'm gonna call her.

And I did.

And I just called up and said, dear, I just wanted to call and tell you I love you.

And she just sat there and gilded a little bit and that's all we did.

But the way she responded, I could tell it probably caught her off a little guard because I don't off guard because I usually don't call and say,.

No, what do we do?

What do you honestly tell us people?

You this, you send a text or.

An emoji or emoji.

Right?

Come on, that's lazy.

Every so often to do it every day.

But just saw.

Don't call and say, oh, by the way, can you pick up milk on the way home?

Or by the way, did you remember I wanted to have roast beef brisket tonight?

Or whatever.

You're just call and say I love you and maybe some other love note talk.

But don't talk about other stuff.

Just do that.

That will help you have that spring time affair.

All right, number two is have you been doing your 10 second kiss on a consistent basis?

Well, what is that?

Instruct us on what?

Oh, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to do.

I know you are.

This is the funnest homework you can have.

It's the ten second kiss.

We talk about it all the time on our podcast as far as the homework.

And anytime we're speaking somewhere or doing something, we always do the 10 second kiss.

Now what the 10 second kiss is if you're a new listener.

It's really easy.

Is all you do is you can be in the kitchen somewhere in the house.

Maybe you're getting ready to go off to work and you're.

And you're going to say goodbye a lot of times.

What do you do?

You go over, if you do anything go, you just give them a little kiss on the forehead or the cheek, a little wimpy little thing, love you and then you're out the door.

That's just, that's, that's roommate.

Well, hopefully you're not kissing your roommate.

Yeah, it's acting like roommates or something.

You just.

Anyways, it's not much, right?

I hate it when they do that in the movies.

They walk over and greet somebody and the women are going, kiss.

Anyway, let's move on.

So what it is is you just call your spouse or pull them over to you and say, come here, you hunk a burning love or whatever you want to say, or just come on over here.

And then you pull them up and you just say, hey, Siri, set my timer for 10 seconds.

And then you just plant a nice juicy kiss on their lips.

Not on the forehead, not on the cheek, on the lips.

Now what you do with that kiss is up to you.

Maybe the first few times y' all do this, you're going to feel awkward.

And it's just a little kiss.

Sometimes you can speak in tongues with it.

But that kiss could change your day.

All right, real quick, as a reminder from episode 12, we went over the power of the kiss.

We went into Kissing Thoroughly and it's our number one podcast that's people listen to.

But just real quick, the power of your kiss when you kiss in the morning.

Now this is important because it sets the tone for your day.

How many y' all walk out the door sometimes and maybe you argued, are you rushed out your tension, you're, I'm running late for work and all.

That's another point.

I remember one time walk, I've done it several times walking out the door in a hurry because I'm leaving and, and oh, I forgot the 10 second kiss.

And then actually you forgot your keys.

Probably that too.

No, then I forgot my keys.

But.

But I said I gotta do my kiss, you know, and my little voice inside goes, greg, it only takes 10 seconds.

You got time to communicate with your spouse, but here's why you need to do it.

It expresses love and affection.

It has a positive impact on your emotional and physical well being.

I tell you what, you get a good kiss walking out the door.

You can walk out the door skipping, or you can get back to doing your housework or whatever you're up to that day or whenever, what time you do it during the day.

It brings connection, a good kid, you know what you can't argue when you're kissing.

All right.

Kissing makes you feel good about yourself and it strengthens your relationship.

It has physical benefits.

It has been medically proven that the lips.

Yes, your lips have more nerve endings than any other part of your body.

Pressing them against another set of lips, it just feels good.

Unless they just ate tuna fish.

All right.

It stimulates the production of hormones, oxytocin, that releases the feeling of love and strengthens your bond with your partner.

It's referred to the love hormone man.

Get the kiss just so you get that going.

Endorphins.

They're responsible for the feelings of happiness.

It brings about feelings of well being and operates at.

Listen to this.

As a painkiller for the body naturally.

See what God knows what he he know.

He knew what he was doing when he created all this stuff.

Dopamine.

It stimulates the pressure pleasure center in the brain.

It gets released when something good is happening.

Serotonin.

It's another feel good chemical that lowers caresses.

Cora, how do you say that word?

Cortisol.

Cortisol.

Yeah, that.

Hey women, that's a good thing.

Yeah, it levels your high level weight loss thing.

Yeah, it lowers the cortisol levels and it helps you feel relaxed.

It helps you have a good time.

Other miscellaneous benefits that are consistent with smooching and kissing or anything like that.

Happy hormones and bonding proves your self esteem.

It helps you handle stress and anxiety.

It helps your blood pressure.

It helps with cramps and headaches.

It strengthens your immune system.

Now you might want to wake make out in the morning when you read all this.

Helps you deal with allergies.

Helps you control cholesterol.

It even helps with cavities in your teeth.

That's because saliva and stuff that gets released.

Isn't that crazy?

And it helps with your libido.

Now don't sit there and say ain't kissing him or her.

No, no, you don't use that as an excuse.

It helps your muscle tone in your face.

Now women, that is a major plus.

And there's other benefits and that's another teaching.

Well, go back and listen to that episode.

Episode 12.

Yeah, a whole lot of that.

We do a deep dive and you'll love it.

Yeah.

So get your 10 second kiss in.

All right, well let's move on to number three.

Have you been practicing kindness this past spring?

Well, what does kindness actually look like?

It means being friendly, considerate, generous and willing to do good for someone without expecting anything in return.

It is being there for your spouse when they are having just one of those days and it shows up as gentle words, thoughtful actions, patience, a habit of putting your spouse's well being ahead of your own self interest.

It's speaking respectfully, especially during a disagreement.

It's also noticing needs and helping.

It shows appreciation, affection and encouragement.

It's choosing forgiveness, tenderness and restraint instead of criticism or content.

Kindness is a demonstration by doing a chore, offering a listening ear or saying, I appreciate you.

Are there times when you know that you could have shown more kindness with your words and actions?

Something to think about.

What's number four?

Dear all right, number four.

But I just realized I forgot something on the benefits of kissing.

Oh, tell us.

And this is going to tie into number four.

Okay, a couple of biblical examples of kissing in the Bible.

So this is biblical now, all right.

And this is in Song of Solomon, verses 1, chapter 1 and verse 2.

And the bride is saying, may he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine.

And then song of Solomon 5:16, it says his mouth is full of sweetness and.

And he is wholly desirable.

This is my beloved.

This is my friend.

Now that's, that's a spring fling going on right there.

That is.

But wait, there's more.

The husband song of Solomon 4:11 says your lips, my bride, drip honey and milk.

They are under your tongue.

That so milk and honey.

That's a little bit of French kissing going on there.

That's what it would be.

You're having a spring fling.

Get these types of kisses and see how this is part of your marriage relationship that bleeds over to the whole day.

All right, so the next one that ties into that is have you been practicing your romantic skills or even flirting with your spouse?

And the flirting could be making phone calls, notes, text, a look across a room, mm, touches, hints, all these different things play into that flirting part.

But if you've been practicing romance and we've, we've got a whole series on, on romance.

So we're not going to break down.

I think that's episodes 15 through 18 where we broke down all different aspects.

And then in our newsletter we broke down what romance means to a husband and to a wife.

But what I want to take a moment is just give you the basic definition that we like to use for romance.

So think about it.

During the spring, have you been romantic?

I don't mean just one time.

I mean on a.

As a habit you need.

One time is Valentine's Day.

A habit is weekly or, or every other day or daily doing you can you know what?

You can flirt every day.

Every day.

Every day.

You can do a little flirt.

It's.

It's easy.

You did it when you were dating and maybe engaged and maybe for the first few months before you got married.

Well, it's a spring fling.

That's going to be a lifestyle.

So here's about romance.

Romance is a lifestyle demonstrated in big and little ways by expressions that show love, care, and compassion.

It can be a mood, a setting, an action or event.

Romance is a love story, a love affair.

It's a prince charming winning the heart of the princess, then keeping it.

There's the key right there.

Romance breaks up the monotony that many marriages find themselves in and add zest and anticipation and exciting memories.

Romance is companionship and intimacy.

A sense of belonging is the desire to be the object of another's desire.

In love, it could be getting your spouse a cup of coffee, which is also an act of kindness.

It can be bringing home some flowers, fixing up the bedroom for a night of love and passion.

It could just be holding hands when you're walking around the street or in the, in the grocery aisles, just taking a nice little walk.

When holding hands, it's all these things.

So we're not going to dig all that.

But are you being romantic?

Let me ask you this.

As you're having that spring fling, what is the definition?

What is your definition of romance?

What would you add to that list?

And then, as we stated, talked about before, have you been practicing these things so far this year since spring started?

Are you ready to head into the summer with it?

So work on your romance.

If you can you check that off your list.

That's good.

And you mentioned episode 15 through episode 18.

That was the podcast that did a deep dive there.

Yeah.

So that'd be good for you to get back into.

Just to review.

So number five, have you been praying for your spouse during your private prayer times or with them?

Now, this is good.

Yeah.

And I mean, we women love that.

You know, we.

We love for our spouse to be praying with us, but during your quiet time with the Lord, are you women praying for them regarding their work, their health?

Men, are you praying for your wife separately during your.

During your quiet time with the Lord for their work, their.

Their time at home, their health, all of that?

And together, are y' all praying together on a regular basis?

And that doesn't count?

Praying over your me?

No, no, no.

That doesn't count.

So, like, we hear a lot of women, don't we, dear, talk about how this is so important to them.

Well, Matthew 18:19 says, Again, if I say to you that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my Father who is in heaven.

That's great.

That's a great promise.

Let me just jump in here.

As Linda said, this is a, a big request that a lot of ladies have.

I remember one time we were sitting down at lunch with a group of young ladies where we worked years ago, and it just caught me off guard and they were talking about, you know, of all the things going on, I wish my husband would just pray with me.

So, guys, if you're listening, and I know this is a touchy topic for a lot of guys and people, because they're, a lot of people are self conscious.

I used to be like this to pray in front of other people, you know, but all it is is you just say, hey, dear, can we pray?

Or let's pray over what little Johnny's going through.

Can we pray for your, for our marriage?

Can we pray for our bill?

Whatever.

But you can hold hands or not.

But it, it just has to be a short prayer like, Daddy, God, thank you for healing my, my wife.

Thank you for healing our kids.

Thank you for providing money for a new car, whatever it is, if it's something in your marriage.

But it just takes a moment.

Just take that little step of faith.

And that's all God wants, is he wants those steps of faith so he can come down, get the God factor involved in your marriage.

So, guys, step, step out.

And ladies, don't put some type of expectation on him that he's got to be some Bible scholar, because he may not be.

And that's, that's him coming.

He'd probably read, some guys might rather go out and tackle a bear than pray in front of their wives.

That's how hard it can be.

That is true.

So you need to thank him when he does that.

And ladies, you also, if you're, you're, if you're kind of shy about it, you step out, too.

But it's that easy.

The devil's going to do whatever he can to keep you from doing this.

Yeah.

So the next little point here would also to pray or say the love concession, the love confession, which we had put that in our newsletter.

That was May 1, our newsletter.

That was issue 24.

We wrote out the whole love confession and we put it in first person, I believe.

But you can pray and say that over yourself and, and your spouse.

Yeah.

And we're Going to put that in the copy of that in the love notes.

Oh, yeah, that'll be in our show notes.

Yes, that sounds good.

All right.

The next little tip to look at on our checklist so you can check off or continue to work on is.

Number six is have you dressed for success in your marriage?

Which we've talked about this and I think a podcast and maybe our newsletter.

Have you dressed for success in your marriage by taking off the old stuff, stinky clothes of selfishness, anger, unforgiveness, and many more, and put on love?

This is one of the things I know we've talked about a lot on our podcast.

And in Colossians 3, verses 5 through 14, it talks about what not to wear, where it actually says in our character and who we are and how we act.

It says, don't wear anger, for example, or unforgiveness or a haughty spirit.

It says, take it off.

So that means.

And then it says, put on love.

So it's like in the middle of an argument, you could be having an argument with your spouse, and you want to spout off something mean or cruel or shout back and that you got that anger stirring up inside of you.

Then you go to yourself, in a matter of seconds, you've got to go,.

I got a nano.

I got it.

I got to take this stinky selfishness off.

So in a sense, in your mind, you're taking that off and you're standing there maybe naked for a minute in the mental realm, and then you go, okay, I got to put on love.

So you, like, you're putting on a coat real quick, you throw on a coat of love, and then you say, you know what, dear?

We forgive me.

I was out of bounds with what I said.

Or it stops you from saying something.

So it's a decision.

Now, I'm not going to go into what not to wear.

That's all.

That's all of our crud.

That's in our life.

The.

The anger and all that.

And this also ties into the fruit of the spirit, which is in Galatians 5, 22, 26.

But here's what to put on real quick.

Compassion, kindness, which Linda just talked about.

See, when you're doing these things, it's going to help you have a love affair, because who wants to.

You know, a lot of times we'll talk about people when they're getting ready to make love, maybe take a shower, put on nice lingerie or.

Or the.

You're looking good.

When you go out on your date, who Wants to go out on a date with somebody that's got dirty clothes on, they didn't take a shower after them on the lawn.

And you go out and you smell like gasoline and all that and you start talking about making love.

You haven't washed your hands.

Know what's going to happen?

Nothing.

Nothing.

So you want to dress up with your personality and your style and your, your character so that you can be somebody, you can be a prince charming or a princess.

So what do you put on?

I already said compassion, kindness, self control.

That's a biggie.

Humility, gentleness, patience, goodness, forgiveness, wholesome speech, tenderness, joy, peace, faithfulness, encouragement being an encouragement, being harmonious, wanting, unity, sympathetic, kind hearted and understanding.

And you can actually look in these scriptures and read them and put your name in there and say, I'm like Linda did with the love confession.

I am patient, I have passion, I am faithful, I, I speak right words and so forth.

So as we, we talked about in depth in our podcast or it was in the newsletter or both, we talked about having a wardrobe consultant.

Just like some people pay serious money to somebody to dress them with the right clothes for the right style.

Well, the Holy Spirit God is our wardrobe consultant, so ask him.

And we do go into this on, on our podcast on episode 64 and 65.

So we go into detail on that.

There you go.

What's the next one, dear Number seven.

Oh, this is a good one.

Have you been spontaneous and rocked your spouse's world?

Well, have you thought of something to surprise or bless or shock them?

Actually something unexpected that totally surprised them.

It could be small or large.

It doesn't, you know, it doesn't have to be a big biggie.

Can be something very small, but it would be very meaningful.

And being spontaneous would be like grabbing your spouse and taking them to the back bedroom and leave.

I'm just going to let your imagination go wild on this one, you know, and also if you don't feel like it and doing it anyways.

Yeah, right.

That's right.

Rock your spouse's world.

Your spouse's world.

That's like the icing on the cake.

It is a lot of the stuff we're going, what we're talking about and stuff.

And you know, we said something about the romance part, holding hands and such.

I remember Linda, I help her walk a lot because of her back surgeries and the way her, she walks and this needs support for being steady.

And a lot of times she's holding my arm or pulling my shirt and pulling me over, choking you and the other day we've done it, done that for so many years.

I said, why don't we just hold hands?

And it was like, oh, and I tell you what, we start walking through the store and to the car, just holding hands and it felt like boyfriend and girlfriend instead of, instead of me being a caregiver.

Yes.

And there's so much power when you, you just don't know how much things like in the little things, but.

So the last one of our eight tips for your spring fling and to lead you into summer is very important.

Is your communication on roommate level or lovers level?

All right, now communication in general covers anything from what you're, what you talk about, from how your day went, planning events, your daily chit chat to sharing goals, your discussions, your arguments, dreams, concerns.

That's everything.

So we're not going to break that down and how to do all that.

We've got other episodes.

I don't think we'll put them in the show notes.

I don't have them in here.

The roommate level is just staying on your daily chit chat and basics.

That's about as far as you get because you come home, you're tired or you're busy and all you can do is try to survive.

The lovers level would be getting to the issues of the heart.

What are your desires?

What are your dreams?

What do you want to do on your, your date nights?

What do you want to do for a vacation?

What would you like to accomplish together in life?

Talking about your marriage on a more gut level?

Things.

Maybe things you're not really pleased with or things you're excited about.

How can you improve?

And of course it's handling conflict.

But that's where you want to be on the lover's level.

And I'll close this one little part here on the communication.

I heard the song again.

I hear it all the time.

It's that Pina Colada song.

And I know if you've listened to any music much, you've heard it.

But it's about the guy who put up his wife and him put article ads in the classified section and looking for somebody who's on the same level.

Like, do you like making love at Dunes on the midnight?

Do you, do you like going out to eat?

They listed several things on there and they set up a.

A date night to meet in a restaurant.

They didn't know who they were talking to, which is not good for a husband and wife.

But the point of the song is the wife walks into the restaurant and the husband Looks up at her and he goes, I never knew.

I never knew you like dancing or I never knew you wanted to go to the beach.

I never.

You knew.

I never knew.

I never knew.

We should never have it to say I never knew.

And that's what helps you have that lifetime fling.

If you want to look at it that way.

Not just the summertime, you've got to be communicating.

You need to be learning what makes learning about what makes each other ticks.

You need to learn what your spouse likes.

Do they like doing A, B, C and D?

And how does that fit with what you like?

How can you learn to appreciate what they like?

How can you do that and be able to treat them better and take part in their lives?

And as you do this communication and work on the other parts, it's going to take your, your, your, your marriage to another level because hey, you don't ever want to say I never knew.

So work on your communication.

These are the eight tips for having a springtime flea with your spouse.

The day was like a checklist because we're heading into summer and we want this to set a foundation from.

For the summer and on.

I'll close up with this.

Ecclesiastes 9:10 says enjoy life with your spouse.

You should be enjoying your life.

It's a lot better enjoy life with your spouse than it is with a roommate all the days of your life.

That's the goal of the spring fling.

That every day you guys are having a fling.

And that means all the days.

That means developing habits.

Verse 10 is the key.

It says whatever your hand finds to do.

That's this checklist.

That's you when you got married.

So I'm going to love you all through everything.

Do it with all your might.

Develop habits, stay focused, be intentional and put on love daily.

Practice these habits and you will be able to enjoy life with your spouse all the days of, of your life and set a foundation for an awesome summer.

Well, share this episode with your friends and family and let them know to do their checklist.

And we have a couple little honey do's here to do.

And number one would be are you acting on these steps even if your spouse isn't or hasn't?

Oh, don't wait for them to do it.

Yeah, don't wait.

Number two would be check yourself out on how you are doing on the Spring fling checklist.

And what's number three?

Derek?

Well, not part of number two.

I don't, we don't have it here.

But number two is the ones you're not doing, start doing.

Yeah.

And keep doing them.

Yep.

To develop that habit.

Right.

Number three is what we already talked about, the ten second kiss.

So every day just find your spouse.

Usually morning it's a good time.

But like we said, grab them.

Set my timer for 10 seconds.

Siri, give them a good old wet one.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

And repeat.

Push it on repeat.

Yep.

Well, we'd love to hear your comments and if you have any questions or if you actually have topics that you'd like us to cover in our podcast, send us a text or voicemail or you can even email us the phone number.

And the email address is going to be in our show notes.

So if you have a request for prayer, we pray for our married and Love it family every single day.

And if you have a specific prayer need, please feel free to contact us.

And we just want to say to check out the newsletters too on this springtime fling that we've been putting out there.

Those are back in March, right?

I think so, yeah.

So once again, thanks for joining us.

I hope you got inspired by today's message and we're going to see you next week.

And until then, remember, you can be married and love it on purpose.

Thank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the Married and Love it podcast.

Be sure to be a part of the ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and love it.

Also, subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about Married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have.

And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and love it on purpose.