MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE GREAT: Part 1-Vision for your marriage plus Putting your marriage in God's Hands and practical tips you can apply.

Hey, we're Greg and Linda Smith from Raleigh, North Carolina. We are excited to have you join us for the married and love it podcast. We believe every couple should be able to say we are married and love it.

Greg and I have been married for over 46 years and we've had a lot of life experiences to overcome, including relationship issues, near separation, health, and financial challenges. And through it all, we can still say we're married and love it. In addition to this, we have over 47 years of ministry and business experience.

Making marriage great is our goal. We will accomplish this by teaching you how to be married and love it regardless of your present marriage situation.

We're going to be covering everything that has to do with marriage, including the hot topics of love, sex, communication, and much more. Our teachings are based on christian principles.

And we look forward to helping you make your marriage great. It is an honor and privilege to have you join us for this weekly podcast.

We're excited about what God's going to do for your marriage to help you be married and love it as we all together make marriage great. On this episode, we're going to be covering some information about us, telling you a little bit about our background.

We're going to share about our mission and goals that we have for our podcast. And then we're going to start the making marriage great series part one. So let's get started.

We got married on November 12, 1977, over 46 and a half years ago. We got two grown children, one grandchild.

And a furry friend.

Oh yes, Mister Scooter.

Mister Scooter Bear. He's the one that keeps us on track.

Yeah, he's our producer. He just sits in here and watches us. And I am a licensed ordained minister.

We've been involved in ministry since before we got married in all sorts of different ministry capacities. And we've owned some businesses in the time being. So that's a little bit about that.

We've been married about eight years and that's when we almost separated. But God brought us back. I made some changes. God worked on me and worked on Linda.

And we can say now for the rest of the time we've been married and love it. And we're going to share about our journey and how we accomplished reaching the marriage goals that we have.

And we're excited to share with you how you can do that also. Our whole goal is to develop successful families and see them impact their world, you know, marriage is under attack today.

The marriage busters are coming in. A couple says I do and everything is.

And they really don't.

That's good. They really don't do what they need to do.

That's right.

So therefore, they're not maybe married and love it, but the marriage busters come in, and that's your bills, your life circumstances, resentment, bitterness, in laws, your schedules, sporting events, your devices. You know, I remember when Linda and I first got married.

In the first few years of our marriage, we would go out to eat, and you would see another couple sitting in the restaurant, and they would order their food. And then they just sat.

Yeah, they twiddled their thumbs, didn't even.

Looked around, didn't talk. Maybe they would get out the newspaper and share the newspaper, if you even know what a newspaper is. But they just sat and talked. They didn't talk.

And so we would talk about them not talking. So we were doing real good.

Yeah, we weren't doing.

But nowadays, you go out now, you guys know this. Everybody's got their devices out and looking at them. People don't know how to communicate.

Recently, we were at a restaurant, and there was a family with, like, five or six kids with them. And the husband and wife were there, and all the kids, every single one of them had their devices out of texting.

I think they were texting to each other.

So, yeah. What are you gonna get?

The marriage busters are there trying to stop you from having a successful marriage.

So we're gonna be talking about how you can take care of that, because people decide not to get married today, or they just live together, or they're scared to get married because their parents got a divorce, all their friends are getting divorces. And I say, I don't want to do that.

And so they just rather run from it instead of jumping in because, God, he developed marriage and he's got an awesome plan for your marriage, and it should be sizzling and rewarding for you. So we're going to bring that up. So we want to see you have successful. Be a successful felony and then impact others.

And we'll talk about that more in a minute. So our goal is to strengthen good marriages.

Yeah, you might have a really good marriage, but it can always get better.

Yeah.

You might say, I got a good marriage. Well, how about have a great marriage?

Yeah. And it's because as soon as you stop working on something, you go backwards. And that's why.

Yeah, it's automatic.

Right. That's why we want to do, like, preventive maintenance or marriage tune ups for the ones marriages that are doing good. You know, we were on a tv.

This is years ago on Daystar, and the, they were interviewing us about marriage, and they just wanted to keep talking. But what do you tell a couple getting married or divorced? Should they get divorced? All the stuff.

And I'm going, in my head, I'm going, I just want to talk about how to stop them from getting a divorce.

Yeah.

You know, that's our whole goal, is to stop people from getting divorced.

Not, he wanted to talk about, well, what do you do after they've been divorced?

Yeah, yeah. All this divorce. Yeah, let's talk about stopping it and how people can be excited about their marriage.

So we're going to strengthen the good marriages and I freshen up. Stale or boring marriages.

Marriages.

Yeah.

Let's get rid of the roommate syndrome.

Yeah, the roommate syndrome.

Yeah.

You know, Linda, every so often comes when we get busy, and we've been going through a lot of other stuff. I just want to have some fun. Are you having fun in your marriage?

Is it, or is it boring?

Is it boring or. It's all work, work, work. Or kids, kids, kids, kids. You know, one thing I get tired of hearing, and we say it, too. We're busy.

I am so busy.

We're so busy. Well, you know what? That's a curse.

It is a curse.

All we have to do is say, you know what?

You don't have to be that.

We can control it.

We do have that.

We can learn how to control that. So we want to freshen up still boring marriages. We want to heal marriages that are hurting.

So if you're hurting in your marriage today, we want to bring healing to that marriage. Talk about how you can heal your marriage and take it to a good marriage, to awesome marriage. If it's a dying marriage, you know.

If you bring it back to life.

If you have a dying plant.

Oh, yeah.

You get out in the yard and you dig up around it, put nutrients on it, water it, nurture it. Some of y'all talk to them, you know, well, we can speak the word.

Play music, play music.

But we want to do that to your marriage. We don't want you dying. We don't want you hurting.

We want you having an awesome marriage, being married, and love it on purpose, making marriage great. And then we want to stop divorce. If you're to that point, we want to stop it.

And we had a guest speaker come to the church we go to a few months ago, come through. He spoke on marriage, and he says, if you're not working on your marriage, you're working on divorce.

That's a pretty powerful because once you start moving forward, you start going backwards. Just think about where you're at right now. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your marriage?

And then think about same scale, how do you think your spouse would rate the marriage? Do you think you all are the same?

Good question.

I know when I asked Linda that or came out, it was apparent years ago that we were not on the same number because I thought we were probably on an eight or nine and she thought we were on a one or two or somewhere in that range. But something to think about, you know, something to think about.

Be ready to look at that and examine that, because we don't know where the other person is sometimes, because we don't talk about it. So we want to stop that divorce.

We want to prepare people for marriage, you know, so somebody's not married yet, you're wanting to learn about marriage. Come on and listen to our podcast. Learn about what it's like.

We've had engaged couples come to our classes in the past, and by the end of the course, they decided not to get married because they realized they weren't a good fit. They weren't on the same page, and that wasn't the right time for them.

So we do, like, for driver's license and all that. We go through all these classes. We have to practice. We go through all the instruction manual. We have the little booklet. Right.

But who does that when they go to get married?

Yeah. Yeah.

There's nothing. Right?

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe if. Maybe some premarital here and there.

Yeah. We went to premarital counseling. I think we went to two classes, and I thought I had it all together.

And one of the questions was, what's your blood type? Big deal, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So. And then last but not least, we want to develop marriages that impact their world.

Yeah. We want to cause a ripple effect.

Yeah.

We want to see marriages be something that other people can look at and admire and give them the desire for them to be married. When the world is saying, don't get married, just live together.

See if it works out, you know, and causes it causes a ripple effect because you become, number one, an example to other people around you. And then, like, here's a really good example. A gal in my church, she had a friend that gave her a call.

They've been real good friends for a long time, and their marriage was kind of on the rock. And she was like, I do not know what to do. And this girl that had come, her and her husband had attended our classes. Well, she knew.

She said, well, try this, this and this. And she said, you know, Linda, if we wouldn't have taken your classes, we would have had no clue. I would have had no clue on what to tell her.

I would have said, yeah, I'll pray for you. But that had been it.

Yeah.

There had been no way to practically, you know, give her some little tips on how to turn things around.

She goes, well, a couple weeks ago, she came back to me and she said, do you know, I applied, key word there, applied those couple tips that you gave me about my marriage to my husband, with my husband. And it has been like night and day. It has made the biggest difference.

It causes a ripple effect where other people like you throw the little stone in the, in the water and you see the ripples on the water. But what's going to happen is not only people around you, but also your family members, your, your children, and then, then your grandchildren.

And it's going to place a desire in their heart to be walking in their marriage the way God would want them to be.

Think about if you were at work and you got a group of ladies or group of men talking and they're complaining about how their marriage is or how their spouse treats them, and then all of a sudden somebody goes, my wife did this for me, or my husband did this for me. And you're like, they're like, what? Are you serious?

It's a surprise.

It's a surprise because somebody's not normal.

Yeah. For somebody to be bragging about their.

Spouse, they're bragging about their spouse. And that's why we want to have it.

Yes. That we don't impact other people.

So that's our goals.

Oh, you're going to hear some on our teachings, almost all our teachings. They're going to be very simple and practical. We call it the kiss method. Keep it simple Smith the kiss method.

Now, you can call it something else if you want. Greg says, keep it simple. What?

Stupid.

Yeah, that's how some people would say it. But since we're Smith, we were a little nicer on it. Keep it simple, Smith.

And we're going to be starting our podcast off, and it's a making marriage great series, and it's going to lay a foundation for all the future episodes that we'll be bringing to you tonight.

Or just to now we're going to get into, number one, you're in good hands. You see, when you get married, let me just read this scripture. That'll explain it.

Commit your works to the Lord and your plans or marriage will be established. When we get married, we should say, God, here's our marriage, and we want to be in your hands. It's kind of like that insurance commercial.

It says, you're in good hands with blank. I don't want to say the name.

We all know who it is.

You know who it is, but you're in good hands. So God's saying, commit your marriage to me. Put your marriage in my hands, and it says, then your plans and marriage will be established.

See, God's there to take care of you, to get you through that. And then it goes on. Verse nine, says the man, the mind of a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

You see this right here, this particular topic?

It's the foundation, really, as far as.

What we did to heal our marriage and keep it going was put our marriage in God's hands. Because when we almost separated years ago, I was praying for God to do something because I needed a miracle.

But I went back, I said, God, what can I do to be who I'm supposed to be, to love Linda? So I got my Bible out. Linda had always said, will you read these marriage books? Will you read these marriage books?

And I'd read them for a day and then put them away.

Or could we go to certain marriage seminars or church conferences or.

Yeah, that's sort of thing. We don't need all that. We're serving the ministry.

We don't need to go all that well, when she said she was ready to separate or was in the process of, I spazzed out. I said, this doesn't happen to other. This. This doesn't happen to me, this happens to other people.

I went and got all three marriage books we had in the house and read them, like, in 24 hours. Start looking at the Bible and praying. I was putting my marriage in God's hands. Almost too late. But that's what we're talking about doing.

See, God's word is power. There's life in God's word, and we're not putting our hand.

We're not putting our marriage in God's hand so he can be some ogre and say, don't do this, don't do that, and don't do this. No, it's guidelines that we can live by in our marriage, and our marriage will be flourishing. God's got good things for you.

And, you know, Linda brought this, started bringing it up. Is God's word, is principles to live by?

Yeah, it's our instruction manual.

It's an instruction manual. It's our baseline. Or some people say a north star. So you can read the Bible.

And there's principles on relationships, talks about sex, talks about money, all these different things that you can use as a base.

How to raise your children right.

Because some people get married and they have nothing but what their mom and dad, they solve with their mom and dad, what they see on tv or their marriage, marriages from their failed friends to try to figure out how to get married. God said, I got it right here in this book.

If you read this, and then you can get some other God centered, good type of books, and that gives you a guide. It gives you an instruction, man, to go to.

It also builds strength and faith for your marriage, and it gives you hope. Yeah, you're going to get hope because so many times we're like, this marriage is hopeless. Yeah, you can go, nothing I can do here.

But it gives you hope. The word of God does.

And it's not only that if you're having marriage problems, but if you. You're going through life's challenges. Like Linda and I have gone through majority medical situations.

We call them the marriage busters.

Marriage busters. But we've had major medical problems going on or tough times with your kids. It gives you something to hold on.

To, something to hang on to.

I can get through this. I can win. This situation can change. So that's what having your bible built on God's foundation is going to.

Proverbs 16 nine. It actually says, the mind of a man plans his way. And we all do that.

Yeah.

We decide, oh, well, this is the way to do it. But it says. But the Lord directs his step.

So if we're tuning in and plugging into God and we're asking him for his help in our marriage, then we are gonna. He's gonna direct our steps on how to. Like, there might be a little thing that you're doing that is just totally aggravating your spouse, and never.

And all of a sudden, you get this little nudge on your shoulder and it's like, shh, zip the lip. Don't be aggravating your spouse. And just that one little thing can cause peace in the home. And it can, you know, help out with the marriage. Yep.

God's word. The Bible is a marriage instruction manual.

It's got good stuff in it. It's not a book of law.

It is not boring by any means.

It's really hot with a lot of things you can read.

Song of Solomon is pretty hot.

God wants for you.

Yes. Well, here's some examples.

Well, it's an instruction manual.

Right. Right. So it's like, here's some examples about following instructions just to be real and practical.

When I go to make a cake, I pull out thing the recipe, and it says certain things to add to it, certain amount to add to it. And if I miss one of those ingredients is, well, the cake might come out looking real good and smelling real good, but it tastes yucky.

And that's because I left something out. That's because I didn't follow the instructions properly. I didn't follow the recipe properly. And that. That was. That was my fault.

Yeah.

You know?

Yep. And I can tell.

Oh, well, you're like, ooh, that takes.

Just think of the different times you went to put something together, especially the guys.

Oh, the furniture stuff.

Furniture stuff or whatever. And you are just the Christmas presents you're putting together for the little kids and you get done and you got parts left over.

Oh, wow.

You got to start all over or it doesn't work. Right. Well, God's got a very simple instruction manual. If we just follow it and learn and listen, we can have success. And I like Joshua one eight.

This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Get some other books and CD or audios and such.

Listen to them showing our age.

When you talk about. I know I said these are streaming it, right.

So be careful to do all that is written in it. For then you. You will make your way prosperous and then you will have success. Why?

The magic is not so much in you, but it's because you're following the instruction manual. And because of that, God says you can have success.

Yeah. And don't let pride get in the way. Don't let that stop you because that can just really hindered the whole thing.

You know, so many people, they'll tell us, oh, we're. Yeah, I don't need that. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. We're good. When the spouse is like, crying out for help. Right.

It's kind of like another example is about your traverse. Remember your battery?

Yeah, my traverse. I had to change the battery in it because the alternator went out also. And I got the instruction manual out, but they didn't.

They left that part out about where was the batter? Where the battery was.

Yeah, I looked all over the hood.

No, it wasn't. Finally had to get a YouTube video to tell me. But the point being there is it wasn't the right instruction manual. Somebody didn't write it. Right.

So that's why. That's a good example right there.

Yeah.

Is you've got to look at your source.

Oh, yeah. Go to the right source.

You got to find the right sources. Are the people who wrote the manual that you're reading on the same page?

Yep.

What's their foundation? What principles are they teaching? Also, it goes back to who you're. Who you're listening to. Are you listening to your friends?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You should go divorce them, counselors.

Yeah.

Yeah. They'll tell you. Oh, just drop them.

Yeah. So you got to look at your source. I. My instructional manual was incomplete until I did further research, so watch who you listen to.

But pride, you know, a lot of guys, they don't want to admit they got a problem.

Well, that's what happened with us was because I kept saying, can we go to this conference and can we do this, that or the other? Can we attend this class or can we, you know, sit down and read this book together? And you're like, no, no.

But because you're a minister, so to speak, the pride of, what are people gonna think? I don't. You know, I don't need that. We should be all. Have it all hunky go dory, all good to go. And it wasn't that way at all.

So pride was coming in there and keeping us from having a prosperous, successful marriage.

And pride, a lot of times people find out, maybe their church or somebody's having a class on marriage or seminar or.

Or they hear about a podcast like ours, but they won't tell anybody or they won't go to the class or sign up because they don't want to think somebody's having problems with their marriage.

Yeah. And that's really the goal is preventive marriage. Preventive. Like, you know, people change the oil in their car. Right.

Right.

Was there something wrong with their car? No, no, that's just a maintenance.

But if they don't change it.

If they don't, there's really going to be something wrong with their car. Right. So it's not. It's always. That's like the first thing in our.

In the vision for us is to make a good marriage even better, to excel even more, to make it great, making marriage great.

So commit 2030 minutes a week, at least listen to our podcast, learn how to be married and love it, and make marriage. Great. And realize when you're doing that, you're going to be happy, your family's going to be happier, and you're going to impact generations.

Now we're going to stop here and next week we're going to continue on and we're going to talk about some practical things on how the Bible relates to marriage. And I think you're really going to like what I'm going to share, what Linda's going to share.

So what we're going to do is we're going to stop here, give you.

A little bit of homework.

Yeah, give you a little bit of homework and then we'll see you next week.

So number one, stay tuned for the homework.

Oh, yeah, homework right now. You're going to like it. It's practical application. You're going to do the ten second kiss. If you haven't heard about us, talk about that.

What I want you to do every day between now and next time you listen to the podcast is find your spouse, grab their little cheeks and give. Plant a good old wet kiss on their lips for 10 seconds. Just say, set your timer, set your timer on your.

Watch your kitchen counter and just give a kiss for 10 seconds. Whatever type of kiss it is, it's fine. That'll probably develop as time goes bye.

But just give them that kiss and watch how that begins to impact you and your marriage. And don't go, oh, I can't do that.

I remember we do the kiss a lot and I, one day I was walking out the door and I go, oh, I gotta do the ten second kiss. And I looked at my clock, oh, I don't have time to do that. And then it's like I got this voice says, ding dong, it only takes 10 seconds.

So I went over, got it, and it was a blessing. Who knows, you might start making out.

You know, we talk about impacting future generations and being a good example of being married, you know, being happy. A good thing is holding hands. But let me ask you this. If your kids ever seen you and your spouse kissing and they go, oh, go get a room. That's gross.

Well, if that happened, if your kids are still at home and that hasn't happened in a while, maybe you got a boring marriage.

Yep.

Maybe you don't. Let them see you being married and love it and we will talk to you.

Well, yeah, let's go on with another thing.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Side of the ten second kiss, which is good. But ask yourself this question. Have you put your marriage in God's hands.

And then if you're bold enough, ask your spouse, have we put our marriage in God's hands?

That should be enough homework. Thank you for inviting me invested into your marriage by listening to the married and Lovett podcast.

Be sure to be a part of the ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and love it.

Also subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have. And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and love it on purpose.