MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE GREAT: Part 1 continued - Putting your marriage in God's Hands and practical tips you can apply.

Music hey, we're Greg and Linda Smith from Raleigh, North Carolina. We are excited to have you join us for the married and love it podcast. We believe every couple should be able to say we are married and love it.

Greg and I have been married for over 46 years and we've had a lot of life experiences to overcome, including relationship issues, near separation, health and financial challenges. And through it all, we can still say we're married and Lovett. In addition to this, we have over 47 years of ministry and business experience.

Making marriage great is our goal. We will accomplish this by teaching you how to be married and love it. Regardless of your present marriage situation.

We're going to be covering everything that has to do with marriage, including the hot topics of love, sex, communication and much more. Our teachings are based on christian principles.

And we look forward to helping you make your marriage great. It is an honor and privilege to have you join us for this weekly podcast.

Now, our goal with married and Lovett is to develop successful families and to see them impact their world. In other words, we want to help you to be married and love it and for your marriage to be impacting other people that are in your life.

Now, I just want to take a moment to share a little bit about my story about eight years into our marriage. We have been married for over 46 years, and about eight years into it, we came close, very, very close. Too close for a separation to take place.

And I remember when I found out that was happening now, there was probably red flags going on when that hit me that Linda was going to come home and leave because she was out of town. I was desperate. I mean, my world turned upside down. I was in a world of hurt. I didn't know what to do. I was thinking, who can I talk to?

I got all my marriage books out, but I was hurting and fearful of what's going to happen in the future. And it just tore me apartheid, and I don't want that to happen in your life.

And then Linda, she had her own story on, but it shook her, too, because she was the one making that decision.

And I went against everything that I believed in. It just totally. It was like I was making a decision against all my own beliefs that, yeah, you just, your marriage stays together regardless.

But it was like I knew that unless I did something desperate, it had gotten to the point that nothing was going to be done unless I made that decision to just say, okay, you know, we've been worked out. I had been, I guess, hinting, well, not really hinting, but had been saying, can we go to this conference? How about let's read this book together?

Can we go get counseling? And always I was shot down and told, no, no, no. So that brought me to the point where I was desperate to do whatever it took.

Yeah.

Even though it didn't look like it was going to be keeping that marriage together, I was desperate to say, we really got to do something, or I just, this is it for me. I'm done. My heart had gotten hard.

Hard, yes.

And there is no turning back.

And that's what was happening in our marriage at that point. Well, we don't want that. If you're in that spot, we understand where you're at, and we want to help you.

We're here for you, here to help.

You get out of that. But our goal is to keep you from ever getting there.

Yes. It's a bad place.

We had a minister come through the church that we attend, and he had talked on marriage a while back, and he made a statement that was so powerful, he says, if you're not working on your marriage, you're working on a divorce.

In other words, if you're not making progress, strengthening your marriage, even if you've got an awesome marriage, if you're not doing something to keep it strong, then you're going backwards. And we don't want that to happen for you.

So whatever state your marriage is in, whether you're up in the love clouds, just got married or been married like us for 40, 50 years, and things are good or not so good, you can excel still more. And that's what our goal is. And today we're going to continue on our series called making marriage great.

And there's seven topics that we're dealing with there, and we're going to get into continue topic number one. But before I get into that, and Linda, two, I was listening today a song, to a song, and it came on the radio and it was called laughter in the rain.

It's back from the seventies, I believe, by Neil Sadaka. And he's talking about walking hands in hand in hand with the one you love and hearing laughter in the rain.

My question to you is, when's the last time you walked in the rain with your, with the one you love, not necessarily doing that act, but when's the last time you did something specific that was spontaneous? Maybe. Maybe you went to the park and had a picnic, or maybe you just went shopping, but you just had one of those times that was special.

When did you say, world, let's stop. We just need to spend some time together. And I'm not talking about being on vacation and you decide to go walk down the beach. That's vacation.

I'm talking about in the middle of your everyday life, in the midst of being busy.

When's the last time you walked in the rain and held hands and let that represent things that are fun, spontaneous, going on a hike together, a bike ride, going to the gym and just working out, not talking about anything but you guys and being in love. So I want to just challenge with that to have a walk in the rain and what that ever that means to you.

So we're going to get started now on the continuation of making marriage great. And the first topic we're talking about is your marriage is in good hands.

And when we started our marriage and then once we went through this almost breakup, we were already believing God as a christian couple, but we weren't applying the word, especially me. And then after, after we got back together, we had to make the Bible first place in our lives and our marriage.

And so I want to share a scripture that we shared last podcast. Then we'll transition. It's Joshua one eight that says meditate on the word day and night so that you may be careful to do all that is written in it.

For then you will make your way prosperous and then you will have success. So as you us to put the word of God first and his principles, then you can make your way prosperous and have success in your marriage.

So we're going to continue on with that. Linda, you want to talk about the Bible's very practical.

The Bible is very practical. I mean, we brought it home. That's where the rubber meets the road.

I mean, if the word of God is going to be the word of God, then let it be the word of God. And it is very practical. And like we talked in our last podcast, it is our instruction manual.

We can look to it if we will, if we don't let pride get in the way and say, you know, I can do this on my own, you know, I got it all together. I'm good, I'm good. Quit saying that and just go ahead and let God carry you.

Let him take your marriage relationship and regardless too, of whatever your personal religious background may be. Yeah, the Bible can be used by anyone. It's a practical instruction manual for anybody.

You know, all the success principles that are out there today, whether it be in marriage or whether business or whatever, if you dig down and look at it truly, it's all based on different instructions that you see, in the word of God.

Yeah.

So as we're teaching our podcast, we're going to be bringing out different things about the word of God and how it really ministered to us, how, you know, we were in it. I mean, we were over our head in it all, many years, and all this was going on in our life. We were not practically applying.

We were not taking the word and applying it in our marriage relationship, so. Communication. Proverbs 15 one.

This is a practical application.

This is a. This is an example of a practical application. Um, a gentle as. Proverbs 15, verse one. A gentle answer turns away wrath. But harsh word.

A harsh word stirs up anger.

That would be in the line of communication, and that's wisdom right there, coming directly out of the word of God and telling us that if you'll speak to your spouse with a gentle answer, it's going to turn wrath away.

Does that mean I can't come back with a one liner?

I mean, we all have those zingsd, don't we? We do. And that's probably one of the areas, mostly in my mouth. Oh, I have to zip the lip.

You have more of a smarter.

I have a smart. I have a smart mouth. That's not always a godly smart mouth. It could be a harsh word. And, yes, I have to.

I have to pull back on the reins where my mouth is concerned.

So after 47.

After 47 years, still having to zip the lip, yes, I'm still having to control the tongue.

I'm still having to realize that it's gonna be wise if I'll just answer, or maybe not even answer at all, a gentle answer, and it will stop any kind of hard communication between me and Greg.

So, like, somebody won't argue back.

Right.

With you.

Fire out.

It kind of puts the fire out.

Yeah. Yeah.

But, you know, when we get that zinger that we want to say back or something, that's when we have that split second.

Yeah. We get to make a choice.

Am I going to say it or not? Oh, it's so good.

I don't want to miss out on that.

But it's a split second, and if we just go back with a soft answer, that's.

Yeah, it's going to turn.

That's like, just a practical application of God's word. I didn't mean to cut you off.

No, go for it.

Okay, this next one I want to give, and this is an adult warning here.

So if you got a young one in the car that you don't want to hear something adult wise, you're going to need to close, mute, cover the ears up, or pause it for a minute. But we're serious about this.

God has got something in the Bible for almost every area of our marriages, and we're talking life or death in your family by applying God's word and doing what you're called to do. But anyway, this is proverbs 15. I mean, five. Yeah, proverbs five, verses, 18 through 19. And you probably heard this scripture before.

It says, this is talking to the men. But see this? Talking to a husband or wife. It says, rejoice. That means celebrate. Be happy about.

Be excited in the wife of your youth as a loving hind in a graceful doe. Let her breast. There it is. Oh, wow. The public reading of the scripture just does things. Let her breast always satisfy you.

Always be exhilarated and captivated and ravished by her love.

Now, is that the amplified version, the combination?

Probably.

It's pretty good, yeah.

But anyway, it's got a. What we see here is God wants the sexual union to be, wow, awesome and hot.

Now, it doesn't mean every time, it's always gonna be like that, but that's what his expectations were.

And right here it says, and that means this is, if you've been married for 46 years, like us, you're still rejoicing with your wife from your youth, because God wants your marriage.

You should never get old.

Should never get old. That's right. That's the way to look at that. But it says, letter, breast, always satisfy you.

Well, he's saying you're supposed to take pleasure in each other. The Bible in one corinthians says, please one another. And I'm not going to get into that because that's another thing.

But it says, be exhilarated and captivated and ravished with her love. That means she's enjoying it. And that's going to rub off on him and he's enjoying it.

Because if God's not saying, if he doesn't say, be captivated and ravished by our love, that means she's not enjoying it.

And that doesn't mean. Sorry about interrupting, but I do want to bring out right here that that doesn't mean that the wife is a plaything or an object. No, no, no.

Or that she is just to lay down and just, you know, whatever. But it's something that's mutual. It's a mutual satisfaction that they're to be enjoyed by each other, that both of them are to be rejoicing.

Yes. I'm not wanting to get into the.

Sex, physical, or sizzling topic that's gonna come.

Just let me say this. A woman is designed to have more than one orgasm.

There. You're giving way too many.

I know. I'm gonna stop there. But she should be enjoying it, and the man should be enjoying it, and this is God saying that and that. I'm just.

Big point here is sex is covered in the Bible like everything else.

So a practical application, just in case your wife is not responding the way you want her to, maybe you need to learn how to please her more and understand her, and we'll get into that.

It's a little further down the road. Well, that leads us to the God factor. The God factor. Philippians 413.

It says on Philippians 413, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Well, when we put God into our marriage, when we factor God into the whole mix of things, then God is going to empower us to get through these marriage busters, to get through difficulties in life that we may be experiencing in our marriage, to get through the things in our marriage that are frustrating and aggravating. And, you know, we can stand on that scripture. It gives us the power or something to stand, stand on, to hang on to.

And when our spouse might be hard to love, it enables us to, you know, look at them in a different light. It helps us to have the grace to endure it all. It gives us hope. That is the God factor that we want to look at.

When tough times come, or whatever we're going with, God has his power that comes upon us and his influence to help us get through. Like Linda said, the tough times. It gives us strength and energy. In other words, we don't have to rely on our own abilities and strength.

Thankfully, like, when we got back together, God's grace gave Linda the ability to hang in there while I was changing.

I didn't want to. I didn't want to be in that position. Yeah, but God had said, hang in there, Linda.

You know, be it with me and you together, I'm going to give you the strength to endure. I'm going to show you that I can turn this around. I'm going to give you hope that things can be better.

And he started to melt that hard heart that I had.

Yep.

He encouraged me. He. God encouraged me to stick with it, to stay and nothing go through the separation.

All I can do is say, thank God for God's grace.

Yes.

I mean, it's not always just because I'm really.

Oh, I have to say this. There is a happy ending. I mean, it just continues because God made a promise to me in the midst of all that when I said, I don't love you.

So maybe I'm getting a little bit ahead of the game here, but I don't. I don't love you. But God said, no, Linda, I will do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond all you can think of us. That is.

That's out of ephesians 320. God promised me that and I had a hard time.

Took that to keep me up.

Yes.

Oh, wow.

It was quite something else. But I said, okay, there's quite a bit here I could ask. There's quite a bit I could think. And God said, then, I promise you. And it was a process.

Yeah.

It took time. It didn't happen overnight, but that is true.

And now, my grace, it was later on in life, in the last 13 years when Linda had a lot of health issues.

For a period of almost eleven years now, I've been a caretaker on and off, extremely caretaker, trying to work, dealing with financial situations, dealing with Linda and her physical condition and her response and how all this impact impacted our relationship because we haven't had that many times recently to walk in the rain and hold hands and laugh because she hasn't.

Been able to walk really.

So God can get you through anything with his grace?

Yes, his grace.

So let's move on. You ready to move on?

I'm ready.

All right. The next one is Matthew 1128 through 30. It says, come to me, all you who are weary and heavy.

There you go.

And I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heartland and you shall find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy and my.

Load is light on one translation. I know it says, my burden is light.

Right? So God's calling us to let him come in and help us.

A yoke, though, is that one thing, if you've seen an ox that goes across the shoulders of an ox or could be any type of animal that's pulling, trying to work in the field and that steers, the farmer pulls on that with ropes and that steers that ox or that cow in different directions. So as we bring God into our lives, he's going to steer us and give us strength to do that.

But what happens when you get married, and I'm sure you've seen this, there'll be like two oxen or two mules or two horses, and they'll put that piece of wood across them. Now that those oxen are working together as a team now. They can get twice as much done with the strength that's brought on.

And then God's able, with our life, to be like the farmer. He's steering both of us.

And when we're yoked together, to get through life together, so God is saying, allow him to come in and help us, to direct us, to help us work as a team, and then we're going to be able to do a lot more together. And just like, just like the word says, take my yoke upon you and learn from me. Let him lead us and guide us and walk.

And it says, learn from me. He's going to teach us the way.

Yeah.

And he'll teach us and show us the way.

And it says, you shall find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy. So when we bring, when I put.

It this way, it's going to bring rest and peace for not just your soul, but for your marriage and your home. It's going to bring peace into your home.

Yes. So we're allowing God to guide and direct us and work our strength together, we can get a lot more done. All right, what's the next one? All right.

Matthew 1819. I'm going to read that right here. It's.

Oh, yeah.

It is the prayer of agreement. So you're talking about the three. There's the husband, the wife, and then God. Three and one, right?

Yep.

So right there in Matthew 18 talks about the prayer of agreement, the husband and the wife. There's power. There's so much power. When the two of you, when a husband and wife join together in the prayer of agreement, it shall be done.

The scriptures here say that again, I say to you, and it doesn't just have to be husband and wife, but that's how we're applying it today, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my father, who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in my name, there I am in their midst. And that, again, comes back to the God factor.

God's going to be in the midst of us. If we join together in prayer. It does not have to be a big old two hour long extended, you know, the thou and all that.

It's just like, lord, please help us.

Yeah, you know, help, help.

And you know what? I know that a lot of couples, this is a major area in their home, and either the husband doesn't want to pray, or the wife is like, no.

Or, you know, it's a per, you think about it, it truly is a personal, a lot of people see it as very intimate with, between them and goddess.

Yes.

And they don't want to make it public even to their spouse.

Right.

You know, I mean, they just maybe a silent prayer or, yeah, I'll pray about it in my own quiet way or whatever, but it's okay. All of that counts. You know, it, the prayer of agreement, husband and wife together.

Yeah. And praying together is a powerful union for a husband and wife. It can build your intimacy as you pray together.

But a lot of men, it seems like, or a lot of people can be, but especially sometimes men, they don't pray with their wives. And we've been around women and talked to them and they will say, what do you want from your husband?

A lot of times they would go, I just would like for my husband to pray with me.

Just take my hand and just say a short little tiny prayer, just a easy little prayer.

Like Linda was saying, it can just be help. But that's what women are looking for a lot of times.

And then it doesn't even have to be about a tough situation, really. It could just be that you're going out the door. Have a great day, Lord, help us. Have a great day together. Help me keep my attitude straight today.

Help me. Oh, Johnny is not feeling good today.

And so dad comes in and he's, and mom's all upset about it and she's, you know, all flustered about her child being ill.

And all he has to do is just put his hand on her shoulder and say, lord, thank you for your healing power working, that you're going to give peace to my wife, you know, going to show her what to do for Johnny. You know, something that simple, God is simple. God is practical. And we talked at the last podcast, keep it simple. Smith yeah.

And Greg says keep it simple, stupid. But you know what? I think it would be good to say keep it simple. Smart. It's smart to be simple and just simple and practical.

That's what God's all about.

Yeah. You know, wherever you're at in your spiritual walk, if you, wherever you're at, you don't have to start big. Start with just that simple prayer.

Start where you're at and just talk to God. You don't like Linda said, you don't have to be King James version. Just talk to him like you're talking to a friend and ask him and.

He wants to be your friend. That's what it's all about.

Ask him to help you. Ask him to bless your marriage and to help you with your marriage and your family in every area of your life.

That's bringing God in, because God wants you to succeed. That's what his plan for you is, to succeed in everything you do and in your marriage.

Yeah, again, brings it right back to the God factor, doesn't it? So, well, how do we get this, Greg?

Well, you know what? We're going to.

How does that happen?

I think I can sneak this in here, John.

Well, maybe we can sneak it in and then pick up and expound on it.

John 15 seven says, abide in the vine. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who bides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit. For apart from me, you can do nothing.

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you. You can ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.

God's saying, plug in.

We gotta plug into the vine. That means, who's the vine? Jesus.

That's God. And the word of God.

It would be reading his word, spending time with him in prayer, but also just reading the word, looking up the scriptures that we're giving here. You're gonna have a transcript of what we're talking about in these podcasts. So you can take it and write down these scriptures and look them up.

Maybe look them up with your spouse if y'all are on the same page.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Apply these. And what we're getting at here is we based our marriage on God's word to learn how to act, how to be a better husband on how to be a better wife.

But you know what? It goes past that.

You know, you're wanting to build a family, you're wanting to be successful in life and your businesses and be healthy, and to send your kids off to be successful. God's calling you maybe to do something, or maybe you're trying to wonder what you're going to do in life, but God wants you to succeed.

And he also gives you, he'll give you that wisdom, but he'll give you faith for that. And that's where we'll pick up next time, because we got a few more things on putting your marriage in God's hands to see you succeed.

So we're going to, we're going to.

Show you how to tap into this.

Yeah. And we're going to get the part three of this one being in good hands on our next podcast. So right now, we got a little bit of homework for you.

And the first one is a continuation. And that's for you to do the ten second kiss every day until our next podcast.

Now that ten second kiss is get your watch, get a timer somewhere, or just get where you know, is to say 10 seconds and then grab your spouse, grab those little cheeks, pull them up to you and give them a good old wet one right on the lips. And I, and then you can kiss every how you want for at least 10 seconds. Do it before you rush out the door.

I remember one time I said, oh, I need to do my ten second kiss. And I said, no, I gotta go, I don't have time. And I go, wait a minute, wait a minute, it's only 10 seconds.

That's just 10 seconds.

You know, that's the curse. I want to get away from us and our families to saying we're too busy.

Yes, being too busy is, Robin, our families, from everything, from a lot of things that God wants us to experience.

Yeah.

So let's stop and do a ten second kiss.

Okay. And there's just one other thing real quick. Okay, so the ten second kiss is just a cherry on top of the cake. Oh yeah, on top of the hot sun.

And you can get extra credit if you go longer.

Well, that could happen. Yeah. But ask yourself this question, have you put your marriage in God's hands?

Yes.

And maybe it's just you doing it. Yeah, hopefully it's the two of you doing it. But ask yourself, have you put your marriage in God's hands?

And then if you can ask your spouse, have we put our marriage in God's hands?

Yeah. And if they're not there yet, then.

You just do it and that's okay. So then just be quiet and let God do his work.

God's power will come in and work behind the scenes and he does what happens.

He's faithful.

Well, that's going to be it for this podcast. We look forward to getting with you here shortly with the next podcast coming out.

Thank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the married and Lovett podcast.

Be sure to be a part of the ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and Lovetta.

Also subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have. And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and Lovett on purpose. Sadeena.