April 7, 2026

EP 63. Practical Tips on How to Love Your Husband God's Way. PT 3

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The central theme of this podcast episode revolves around the profound impact a wife's attitude and actions can have on her husband, particularly in the context of love and support. We, Greg and Linda Smith, delve into the intricate dynamics of marriage, emphasizing the importance of treating one's spouse with reverence and attentiveness. Drawing from both scripture and our extensive experience, we explore practical strategies that wives can employ to uplift their husbands, thereby fostering a nurturing and harmonious relationship. This episode continues our series on loving your husband in alignment with divine principles, offering insights that are not only applicable but also transformative. Join us as we navigate these essential topics, aiming to equip you with the tools to cultivate a flourishing marriage.

Takeaways:

  • Investing time in understanding your husband fosters a deeper connection and love.
  • A wife's role in honoring her husband is fundamental to a thriving marriage.
  • Communication is essential; express your needs clearly to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Forgiveness is a crucial aspect of a loving relationship; be quick to apologize.

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Speaker A

Welcome to the Married and Love it podcast.

Speaker A

We're Greg and Linda Smith, your hosts from Raleigh, North Carolina.

Speaker B

It's great that you're taking time to invest into your marriage by listening to your weekly dose of marriage insights.

Speaker B

We'll discuss all aspects of marriage, including the hot topics of sex, love, communication and more.

Speaker A

Our insights and lessons are based on Christian principles plus over 48 years of marriage and ministry experience.

Speaker B

Our goal is to help you make your marriage great by equipping you to be married and love it.

Speaker A

It's an honor and privilege to have you join us.

Speaker A

Hey, thanks for joining us today to get your weekly dose of Married and Love it your booster shop for the week.

Speaker A

In today's episode, we're going to continue our series on how to love your husband God's Way.

Speaker A

And Ellen Keedman quoted this she said, most men I have interviewed, whether married or single, agreed that they felt captivated by special woman who is able to make them feel stronger, more capable, more intelligent, sexier, or more knowledgeable than they had felt about themselves before these women came into their lives.

Speaker A

I think that's pretty interesting, isn't it?

Speaker B

That's true.

Speaker B

It just kind of shows how a wife is treating and speaking to and loving on her husband impacts his life.

Speaker A

What a difference it makes.

Speaker B

Yes, it's going to be a good podcast today episode, I should say, talking about that.

Speaker A

Well, in part two, our last episode, we talked about asking yourself, how can I honor my husband and make his life easier for him today?

Speaker A

How can I bless him today?

Speaker A

So we're going to continue on some ways that you can be doing that.

Speaker B

Yes.

Speaker B

And we're going to start off with the scripture today for this because what a wife's goal for her husband is and how she wants to take care of him and minister to him and love on him is very important.

Speaker B

And God gives us some instructions on how to do that.

Speaker B

So we're going to start off with First Corinthians 7 through 32 and 34, which basically talks about pleasing your spouse.

Speaker B

And we're going to look at here.

Speaker B

It talks about a wife being concerned about pleasing her husband.

Speaker B

He says, you know what, she's busy in life.

Speaker B

She can't, she can't even do a lot of ministry stuff like they talked about back in, in, in the Bible because she's concerned about taking care of her husband.

Speaker B

So we see there that it's a deliberate thing.

Speaker B

You know, Linda wakes up and she does think a lot of days, how can I take care of Linda?

Speaker B

I mean, Take care of me today.

Speaker B

You know, that's the selfish side.

Speaker B

We wake up in the morning.

Speaker B

We do.

Speaker B

Maybe that wasn't me having to slip of the tongue.

Speaker B

It was just saying sometimes we wake up.

Speaker B

Like Linda just said, what about me?

Speaker B

What about me?

Speaker B

Yeah, what's Greg gonna do for me today?

Speaker B

Is he gonna get my coffee this morning?

Speaker B

Is he going to wash the car?

Speaker B

Is he going to take out the garbage today?

Speaker B

Is he going to vacuum the floor?

Speaker B

Is he gonna tell me how much money I can spend or can't spend?

Speaker A

Yes.

Speaker A

Yes.

Speaker A

That's a good one.

Speaker B

You know, what's he going to do for me?

Speaker B

No.

Speaker B

God says we should wake up in the morning and say, how can my.

Speaker B

How can I make my wife or my husband's life better today?

Speaker B

How can I bless them?

Speaker B

So we're not going to talk about the husbands today because talking about how they take care of the wives a few episodes back.

Speaker B

So check that out.

Speaker B

But it talks about how can I please my husband.

Speaker B

You know, one way to do that is to become an expert on your husband.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

The longer you're married, I mean, you learn a little bit when you're dating, and then after you say, I do, he can even change a little bit because he's captured you.

Speaker B

And now he may be having to do some adjustments, but for you, become an expert.

Speaker B

And that takes time.

Speaker B

We've been married 48 years, and Linda still learns things about me because I change.

Speaker A

You know, we're ever changing every day.

Speaker B

Well, they say.

Speaker B

They say you can be married to a different spouse four or five times through your marriage because seasons change.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker B

You know, Linda, because of all the health challenges she's had and things we've gone through, she can't be the wife she wants to be a lot of the times because there's things there hindering it.

Speaker C

Or.

Speaker B

And when you get older, like we are, things change, desires change.

Speaker B

But.

Speaker B

So you're constantly learning how to please your husband.

Speaker B

So be an expert on that.

Speaker B

And you know what?

Speaker B

The more you learn and the better you understand your spouse.

Speaker B

Your.

Speaker B

Your husband in this case.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker B

The better you know how to love them and meet their needs.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker A

It's all about preferring him over ourselves.

Speaker A

Women.

Speaker B

That's right.

Speaker B

Now, next, scripture right here, Philippians 2, verses 3 and 4, talks about that.

Speaker B

It says, do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, humbling yourself, willing to.

Speaker B

To.

Speaker B

To put your life out there and serve somebody else and minister to them.

Speaker B

No, we're not talking about anybody being a doormat or being a slave to somebody or all I got to do is I got to take care of my husband.

Speaker B

What about me?

Speaker B

What about me?

Speaker B

Like we said, you know what the word says, Treat others the way you want to be treated and what happens, it comes back to you.

Speaker B

Given, will be given back to you.

Speaker B

So if your husband, right now you're saying, I don't know if I want to try to please my husband.

Speaker B

He's lazy, doesn't care about anything but playing golf or going to work and getting up atta boys from his boss.

Speaker B

Well, maybe you need to be giving them some atta boys while he's home.

Speaker B

And, and we're going to talk about that in a few minutes.

Speaker B

But it's a decision.

Speaker B

So do nothing from selfishness but humility of mind.

Speaker B

Let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.

Speaker B

So this is a decision.

Speaker B

And I know some of you, some of the listeners today are young moms at home taking care of your, your children.

Speaker B

Maybe you work full time and taking care of the children.

Speaker B

Maybe you're older in life and the kids are gone and things aren't right at home because you didn't spend time with one another and work on your marriage when you were had the kids at home and you're just kind of drifting.

Speaker B

Whatever it is, it says let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.

Speaker B

Don't merely look out for your own personal interest, but the interest of others.

Speaker B

It's a decision.

Speaker B

In the midst of life, it's a decision.

Speaker B

Yes, maybe everything is good.

Speaker B

You're just super busy.

Speaker B

You know, we had a episode a while back.

Speaker B

We call it being crazy busy.

Speaker B

You just got busyness.

Speaker B

And believe me, we can relate to that.

Speaker B

But you know what, you still got to make a decision to say, am I going to put my spouse first today?

Speaker B

Why does one thing I can do to bless my spouse, to bless my husband right today in the midst of everything.

Speaker B

See, it's a decision to do it.

Speaker B

So there's no excuses.

Speaker B

And it comes back to, you don't have to like doing it, you just need to do it.

Speaker B

You just got to do it.

Speaker A

Well, let's do a little recap.

Speaker A

So we had touched on some other ideas on how to do this in the last episode, but I'm just going to touch do a quick little recap.

Speaker A

One of them was by understanding your husband.

Speaker A

If we learn how to understand him, then that's going to make a big, big difference.

Speaker A

We talked about the different personality styles.

Speaker A

Another one was learning his love languages.

Speaker A

That is a big deal on figuring out what's your husband all about and what really does bless him, what would make his life easier.

Speaker A

Another one is to do your part to keep the sizzle in your sex life.

Speaker A

Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker A

Do you thumbs up on that, dear?

Speaker B

Definitely.

Speaker B

You can say it again.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

Another one is actually ask your husband's advice and his opinions on decisions that you may be making.

Speaker A

Maybe it's something going on with your kids, or maybe it's a schedule decision you're having to make on your schedule.

Speaker A

Maybe it's just something that you're trying to decide what pair of shoes to be wearing to church that day, you know, so that's one.

Speaker A

Another one was to remember the little things that are special to your husband, like his desires.

Speaker A

Maybe he has had past requests, things like that, you know, a favorite meal, that kind of thing.

Speaker A

Um, and then another one is to praise and brag on him in front of your friends and family.

Speaker B

You can feel free to brag on right now while we're in any time.

Speaker A

You know, we always say his ego is so big, his head so big, he can't get it through the doorway.

Speaker A

Well, you know what?

Speaker A

That's not true.

Speaker A

The men need to be bragged on.

Speaker A

Their ego needs to be inflated at all times.

Speaker A

And number seven was another one.

Speaker A

Study and gain an appreciation for the work that he does and then express it to him.

Speaker B

Yes, those are verbally.

Speaker A

Tell him all about that.

Speaker A

So go back and listen to the.

Speaker B

Last few podcasts, podcasts 61 and 62.

Speaker A

Okay.

Speaker A

Yeah, so those are some recaps before we move on to the more practical way.

Speaker B

A couple things here.

Speaker B

First of all, we.

Speaker B

We did not get this episode out last week.

Speaker B

When we like to do that.

Speaker B

We had some technical issues came up.

Speaker B

And then as we're getting out, taking care of life issues hit.

Speaker B

So we're running a little behind.

Speaker B

So we did get it out today, so enjoy it.

Speaker B

And then we'll have another one, hopefully coming out in the next couple of days to stay on track.

Speaker B

But before we move on, I just want to tell you we do have a newsletter.

Speaker B

And if you're not on our newsletter list, at the bottom of our show notes, you can go down there and say, hey, I want to get more information, some more insights, some more doses of marriage teaching, and just send us your email.

Speaker B

There's a little link that you can click on and it'll get all that taken care of for you also follow and describe.

Speaker B

Subscribe to our our podcast.

Speaker B

That way you'll know or be able to see on your.

Speaker B

Your podcast information that we've got a new episode up.

Speaker B

And of course, always share.

Speaker B

Share this episode with somebody that you, you love or don't love.

Speaker B

Maybe they're somebody you've never met before.

Speaker B

Send them, let them know about it.

Speaker B

All right.

Speaker A

Send us topics and questions too.

Speaker A

Any comments you want to make.

Speaker A

Yeah, send that to us through that.

Speaker B

So let's move on.

Speaker A

Oh, and rate and review.

Speaker B

Yeah, that's.

Speaker A

I'd love to get that five star rating.

Speaker B

That's right.

Speaker A

All right, well, okay, moving on.

Speaker A

Here are some more practical ways that we can show our husband how we love him.

Speaker A

Show him that we are loving him the way God would want him to be loved on.

Speaker A

So number eight was do not expect him to read your mind.

Speaker A

That's a biggie.

Speaker A

We women, we want our husbands to read our mind.

Speaker A

We got to tell them, girls.

Speaker A

We got to tell them exactly, you know, hints.

Speaker A

They do not work.

Speaker A

They don't.

Speaker A

If you want to go out to eat, well, tell them you want to go out to eat.

Speaker A

Not out of the kitchen, into the dining room to eat, out to a restaurant to eat.

Speaker A

Tell them that you don't want to do all the cooking and everything.

Speaker B

And maybe give, give them a choice of two or three restaurants you would like to go to.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker A

Communicate.

Speaker A

Communicate your needs and wants.

Speaker A

Let them know.

Speaker A

Don't expect he's going to read your mind.

Speaker B

Don't go through and say, you know, we don't have anything thawed to cook.

Speaker A

I don't know what I'm gonna cook.

Speaker A

Those are hands.

Speaker A

That's going to guess fly, right?

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

They'll get creative and say, let's have eggs or hot dogs.

Speaker A

Oh, yeah, you know, so another, you know, like if you need help doing the chores, we'll tell them.

Speaker A

Don't expect that.

Speaker A

He's just going to look around and see that you're like overwhelmed with all the dishes in the sink, getting the kids homework, all that.

Speaker A

Let him know, can you help the kids in the bathtub tonight.

Speaker B

Be specific.

Speaker A

Be specific.

Speaker A

You got to tell them directly.

Speaker A

Also, if, you know, if he poured the milk and he emptied it all out that morning, he's not going to automatically think to pick up some milk or maybe the bread ran out from the store.

Speaker B

I'm glad you never have to deal with that.

Speaker A

So I know.

Speaker A

And you know, he's not going to think in his head on the way Home to stop at the store and pick up milk or bread.

Speaker A

Call him, text him, let him know, tell him that the milk ran out that morning.

Speaker A

Would he please stop and get some.

Speaker A

You know, we got to be specific.

Speaker A

That's very important.

Speaker A

Don't think that he's going to know that.

Speaker A

He's just going to know what is needed or, or wanted.

Speaker A

And, you know, this doesn't apply to just stuff around the household.

Speaker A

It can be applied to any area of your life.

Speaker A

During your sex life, if there are certain things that you like him to do or not do, well, you can expect that he is going to underst.

Speaker A

He.

Speaker A

He's not going to just.

Speaker A

You're going to tell them.

Speaker A

Yeah, you got to be specific.

Speaker B

Don't worry about hurting his ego.

Speaker B

He'll learn.

Speaker B

Most men would rather learn how to the please their wife in all areas of life.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker B

But especially in the sexual area.

Speaker B

Maybe their ego takes a hit.

Speaker B

But you know, what if, if things aren't done right in all areas, it's going to cause conflict and more problems down the road.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker A

Now, another key note is Unicom.

Speaker A

You may have to tell them again and again when you need help because things could change.

Speaker A

He's not just.

Speaker A

I mean, he may vacuum the floor one time and then think, oh, well, did my part.

Speaker A

Oh, that's not true.

Speaker A

The next day, a bunch of mud might have got brought in or, or came in.

Speaker A

You need to sweep the floor.

Speaker A

Tell them exactly what you need for that day.

Speaker A

Yeah, you know, it all changes.

Speaker A

So.

Speaker B

All right, next one.

Speaker B

Support your husband and his personal goals and dreams.

Speaker B

Create an atmosphere of growth for your husband.

Speaker B

You know, he's got dreams.

Speaker B

He may be wanting to lose weight.

Speaker B

He may be wanting to start a new business.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker B

He may, he may have a calling on his life and he's been hesitant.

Speaker B

And maybe, maybe the Lord's saying, hey, I'd love you to start leading a home group.

Speaker B

Or maybe he.

Speaker B

He's saying he wants to be an usher and he doesn't like getting in front of people.

Speaker B

Or he's got hobbies he would like to pursue.

Speaker B

Well, find out what he wants, what his goals and dreams are, and encourage them in those areas.

Speaker B

Create a atmosphere of growth.

Speaker B

If he's wanting to go back to school to get another degree for his work, or maybe it's for ministry work or something like that.

Speaker B

Encourage him.

Speaker B

Say, you know what you can do that you're not too old or, here, I'll take this off your plate.

Speaker B

I'll vacuum the Floors this week or whatever maybe he does around the house.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

So you can have that time to do that.

Speaker B

And don't sit there and say you're too old to do that.

Speaker B

You can never, you know, you don't like to get in front of people.

Speaker B

I remember when I was.

Speaker B

Well, we were probably still dating at this point.

Speaker B

Maybe we were married.

Speaker B

But I remember I didn't like to us.

Speaker B

I didn't ever wanted to usher in the youth ministry we were involved in.

Speaker B

It was a large youth ministry because I was too scared to go in front of people.

Speaker B

But yet she would encourage me.

Speaker B

My pastor, Jew pastor, would encourage me to get up there and get in front of people.

Speaker B

But.

Speaker B

Or we were going to Bible college.

Speaker B

I was going to Bible college.

Speaker B

We actually moved from Raleigh, North Carolina, not being from Charleston, South Carolina, to.

Speaker B

To Fort Worth, Texas to go to Bible college.

Speaker B

It was a step of faith.

Speaker B

But she said, you know what I feel like we're called to the ministry, both of us together.

Speaker B

Let's pack up.

Speaker B

And we moved to Fort Worth, Texas.

Speaker A

When you went into Bible school, she.

Speaker B

Didn't go, well, what are we going to do there?

Speaker B

Your parents aren't there.

Speaker B

My parents aren't with us now.

Speaker B

And they're not going to be as.

Speaker A

Far as a little baby.

Speaker B

We have a little Tiffany.

Speaker B

But she.

Speaker B

She said, that's our dream.

Speaker B

That's your dream.

Speaker B

We're going to go out there and we're going to do what it takes.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

We want to be number one fan losing weight.

Speaker B

She.

Speaker B

Linda encouraged me through time.

Speaker B

Every so often she would still bring in.

Speaker B

Well, that's another story.

Speaker B

But she would say, you can do this because she knew what it would do for me, what it does for our marriage and all of that.

Speaker B

So encourage them.

Speaker A

Yep.

Speaker B

Let your husband express his heart to you and don't put them down.

Speaker B

Don't be a negative Nancy.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker B

Don't say you can't do that.

Speaker B

We can't afford that.

Speaker B

Now, there might be a time to do some game planning to see where things would fit, but encourage them, no matter how crazy is.

Speaker B

You know what?

Speaker B

It's a lot better to have a man with a dream, with a vision, with a purpose, something he's wanting to put his life into, things that would help his family than some guy just sitting on the couch all the time watching sports and playing video games.

Speaker B

Encourage him.

Speaker B

Be his number one fan.

Speaker B

And you know what?

Speaker B

Show more interest in his life than anyone else would.

Speaker B

Let him know that his life and he is the Most impert, important person in your life.

Speaker B

Because you know what?

Speaker B

Somebody else will come along and start saying, man, you're the best boss we've had, or you.

Speaker B

You're so good at this and so good at that.

Speaker B

You be the one.

Speaker B

You be his number one fan.

Speaker B

Be his number one fan.

Speaker B

And know what?

Speaker B

Don't compare him to your pastor, to your neighbor's husband, somebody else's church's husband, saying, man, he.

Speaker B

That they do this and they do that.

Speaker B

Why can't you do that?

Speaker B

Don't compare them to other people.

Speaker B

And finally, on this one, pray for him in all these areas.

Speaker B

Be praying for your husband to excel at everything he is doing.

Speaker B

Cheer him on.

Speaker A

You can either pray with him if y' all are, you know, normally can pray together, or if not, well, then women.

Speaker A

Just pray for him.

Speaker A

On your own time.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

In your own prayer closet, you know, and then, you know, it's okay to tell them that you've been praying for him about those new hobbies or his schooling or if he's gonna.

Speaker A

If he is already in school and he's taking a test, tell him.

Speaker A

Tell him you're praying for him.

Speaker A

Or if he's looking at a promotion at work, let them know that you're praying for him to get that promotion that he's looking for.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

And not.

Speaker B

We know a lot of men, you know, we hear that a lot of men are hard to pray in front of somebody else or they don't lead in prayer.

Speaker B

Well, then that's where you step out and do the praying and just be an example.

Speaker B

Be an example and just do it, and he'll catch on.

Speaker A

And, you know, don't make it a long, lengthy thing like that.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

You know, don't.

Speaker A

You don't need to pray for everybody across the seas and, you know, just make it a short, sweet little.

Speaker A

I. I'm concerned.

Speaker A

I'm.

Speaker A

I'm praying for you.

Speaker A

I'm covering you today.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

So number 10, be attentive to his concerns and his needs rather than your own.

Speaker A

You know, keep your radar up when women be aware.

Speaker A

Listen closely to what his concerns might be.

Speaker A

Listen to what his needs might be.

Speaker A

Just in your conversation, he might be talking about this old shirt he's got and he'd like to get something different.

Speaker A

Well, listen with your radar.

Speaker A

Listen with your radar up.

Speaker A

You know, like, for an example, the other day, we decided to go get a few things for Greg.

Speaker A

Well, of course, my mind starts going, oh, I could use this.

Speaker A

I could use that.

Speaker A

I could use this, too.

Speaker A

But I said, no, I'm gonna.

Speaker A

This is all about Greg.

Speaker A

It's his turn.

Speaker A

It's time for him to be the one that we're looking for on this event.

Speaker B

Yeah, that's good.

Speaker B

So be attentive to your, to what your husband needs.

Speaker B

Linda does real good at that.

Speaker B

I'll be busy doing different things, and she'll think of something that maybe I need it to do, and she'll take care of it.

Speaker B

You know, in other words, say, have a passion to meet your husband's needs.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker A

Okay, so what's number 11?

Speaker B

Oh.

Speaker B

Listen attentively by focusing on him.

Speaker B

In other words, one area is don't make your husband compete with your devices.

Speaker B

I mean, that is, you know, I, I.

Speaker B

We talk about devices.

Speaker B

I remember when Linda and I first got married for the first.

Speaker B

We got married in 77.

Speaker B

There was no Internet.

Speaker B

There was no phones with you.

Speaker B

Everywhere you went, it was then people would say, yeah, you go out to eat and you see the people reading their newspapers.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

You know about it.

Speaker B

Compete with the newspaper.

Speaker B

Now it's the phones.

Speaker A

The phones, the iPads.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

So don't make them compete with the.

Speaker B

The.

Speaker B

Your phone, your lap.

Speaker B

Your lap.

Speaker B

What do you call iPads?

Speaker B

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker B

The tv, telephone, children doing the dishes, books, neighbors.

Speaker B

When he's trying to talk with you, stop what you're doing.

Speaker A

Put things down.

Speaker B

Put things down.

Speaker B

Even if you think you can multitask, Right.

Speaker B

Having that icon, eye contact.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Putting something down says, I'm listening, and maybe you are listening.

Speaker B

I mean, Linda's real good.

Speaker B

She can do different things, but for me, I don't like it when she keeps tapping and scrolling even though she knows what she's doing.

Speaker B

I don't.

Speaker B

And I don't feel like I got her attention, even though I, I've.

Speaker B

She probably does because she'll say something.

Speaker B

I know, but honor your husband in that area.

Speaker B

And if for some reason you're doing something, maybe you're, maybe you're over by the stove and you're cooking and he starts talking and, and if you, if you take your eyes off the roast or the eggs or whatever it is.

Speaker A

Where you were just saying, just a minute.

Speaker B

Hey, dear, can you hold.

Speaker B

I really want to hear what you say or what happened at work or what's going on in the yard or whatever it is and say, I need to pay attention to this for another three or four minutes.

Speaker B

Can you hold that thought for a few minutes?

Speaker B

See, communication like that, that's inflates everything.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

So give them your Undivided attention.

Speaker B

Whether you walk in, it's the living room at night and y' all are talking or watching a show, just be aware of what his needs are.

Speaker B

If he's trying to share his heart.

Speaker B

Because anybody, if they get shut down or feel like they're not getting heard, eventually they're just going to give up and say, you know, they're not really interested in what I have to say or they don't want and they stop speaking and then they'll start closing up.

Speaker A

Yeah, we don't want that to happen.

Speaker A

Number 12, seek your husband's forgiveness whenever you offend him.

Speaker A

You know, women, be mature enough to admit when you're wrong.

Speaker A

I know it doesn't happen hardly ever because we're normally.

Speaker A

And also, you know, don't.

Speaker A

If you, if you ask him for his forgiveness, but then you end up with a but on the end of it, that's not sincere.

Speaker A

Don't try to justify the wrongdoing.

Speaker A

You know, just say, I'm sorry, I was wrong.

Speaker B

Don't go.

Speaker B

I just want to let you know I forgive you for that.

Speaker B

I.

Speaker B

Because I did A, B and C or whatever and.

Speaker B

But you did this, this, this and this.

Speaker B

No, that's, that's not a sincere apology.

Speaker A

We are asking our husband to forgive us, period.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker A

You know, and then just say, can you forgive me for that?

Speaker A

Yes, I was wrong and I'm sorry, period.

Speaker B

Right, right.

Speaker A

All right.

Speaker A

Because you want to check the motive of your heart when you do ask him to forgive you.

Speaker A

And you know, being right, it's overrated, you know, so also, you know, on the flip side, the same way you're asking his forgiveness, that then if your husband messes up, be willing to forgive him.

Speaker A

It's a two way street.

Speaker A

Be willing to forgive him when he messes up.

Speaker B

Yes.

Speaker A

So think about that.

Speaker B

And forgiveness is its own topic.

Speaker B

So you really know what we're talking about.

Speaker B

We got ask forgiveness and give forgiveness.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker B

So next one, let's move on.

Speaker B

Express your appreciation and to your husband through words or actions or deeds for what he's doing.

Speaker B

Verbally praise your husband for something he has said and done.

Speaker A

Catch him doing something good.

Speaker B

Yes, catch him something, dude.

Speaker B

But if your husband says something that's good or he, you see him working on his communication.

Speaker B

Maybe he did pray.

Speaker A

Maybe he did.

Speaker B

And when you get off the floor, man, that was an awesome prayer.

Speaker B

You don't know how much that ministered to me by you praying.

Speaker B

That made my day.

Speaker B

Express that to him.

Speaker B

See you May.

Speaker B

You may walk away.

Speaker B

Say your husband prayed.

Speaker B

And he doesn't.

Speaker B

He's not usually a prayer.

Speaker B

And you walk away.

Speaker B

Say, praise God.

Speaker B

I'm going to.

Speaker B

Oh, I got to go tell my.

Speaker B

My prayer partner that my husband prayed.

Speaker B

And you don't say anything to your husband.

Speaker B

Good intentions is not going to make him feel good or feel like he did the right thing.

Speaker B

But by you taking that moment to say, dear, I really appreciate it.

Speaker B

You praying today.

Speaker B

You don't know how powerful that was or how it ministered me.

Speaker B

And I can't wait to see God come through on that answer.

Speaker B

Man, he's going to feel like he.

Speaker B

He's the.

Speaker B

The Pope maybe or whatever, but.

Speaker B

But praise him.

Speaker B

As Linda just said, catch him doing something to good.

Speaker B

And tell him.

Speaker B

Matter of fact, Liz, Linda's talked a little earlier.

Speaker B

Be aware.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Have your radar on.

Speaker B

And if you see somebody doing something, he took the garbage out.

Speaker B

They.

Speaker B

They did something right in the kitchen.

Speaker B

Maybe he did some magic move in bed one night and you're like, whoa.

Speaker B

Let them know.

Speaker B

Catch them to him.

Speaker B

Be aware of it and tell them, you know what, Also tell them something that you like about him.

Speaker B

Say, you know, dear, I really like this about you.

Speaker B

Something about his character, maybe his ambitions in life, his strengths.

Speaker B

But find something every so often and just say, you know, I really appreciate your integrity.

Speaker B

I appreciate it.

Speaker B

You not parking in that handicap parking place.

Speaker B

Oh, boy, that's a.

Speaker B

That's a big black here.

Speaker B

But not.

Speaker B

Not parking in a handicap spot when you're not handicapped.

Speaker B

So let people.

Speaker B

Let him know what you like about him.

Speaker A

Tell him that he looks really nice.

Speaker B

Yes.

Speaker A

That day when he leaves for work or, you know, when y' all are going off or, you know, to get with somebody else or whatever it may be.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

Say, I appreciate.

Speaker B

I appreciate you putting on a different shirt this afternoon when we went out to have our lunch date.

Speaker B

You really look sharp.

Speaker A

Look good today.

Speaker B

So let him know how his body's looking, if there's something on his body that's looking.

Speaker B

Maybe he's done a little exercising in his biceps, moving out a little bit.

Speaker B

Say, hey, man, walk over and squeeze it.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Let them know things.

Speaker B

Okay.

Speaker B

And thank them every day.

Speaker B

Honey, I appreciate you going to work.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker B

I appreciate what you're doing.

Speaker B

I appreciate you what you're doing around the house.

Speaker A

Thanks for bringing home the Bacon Express.

Speaker B

And not put fuel in his tank.

Speaker B

And if he's a acts of service love language.

Speaker B

You're gonna be.

Speaker B

He's going to be overflowing Right?

Speaker A

Uh huh.

Speaker A

Or words of affirmation would be another love language on that.

Speaker B

Yeah, that's right.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

So thank him for going to work every day.

Speaker A

That's important.

Speaker A

Another one is to look good for him.

Speaker A

Women.

Speaker A

You know, I know that we can't always, you know, be on our best, you know, putting on a clean top or jewelry, makeup, whatever it is, you know, but do try to get out of the bathroom and slippers on the.

Speaker B

Weekends if you know, I'm going to interrupt there for a minute.

Speaker B

You know, you're probably.

Speaker B

Some of y' all may are saying, yeah, right, because on TV you always see everybody, everybody looks good when they're in their work or in their house.

Speaker B

They always got nice clothes on or even their sloppy clothes look really nice.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker B

But you know what, it's not something, it's something you need to do.

Speaker A

It's important.

Speaker B

It's important.

Speaker B

Not all the time.

Speaker A

Ask him how he would like for you to dress around the house.

Speaker A

You know, that's a good way to do it.

Speaker A

Make this a goal to, you know what, whatever he expresses.

Speaker A

Well, try to, try to do that.

Speaker A

You know, also, you know, we dress up for everyone else.

Speaker A

Why don't we dress up for our husband at home?

Speaker B

I remember one time you talked about, you said, yeah, people get dressed up to go to their doctor or the gynecologist.

Speaker A

They shave their legs, they shave their armpits, they go to work there.

Speaker A

Yeah, everything, you know, or they do all that for their co workers or to go to work, you know.

Speaker A

Well, why don't we do it for our husband?

Speaker A

I think that's a great thought to have.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker B

And that doesn't mean you've got a.

Speaker B

Well, Linda's probably going to get to this.

Speaker B

But that doesn't mean at work he's expecting to look at your like going to work all day long.

Speaker B

But it's the little things that you can do.

Speaker B

Linda will do this.

Speaker B

She'll put a nice shirt on or wear a necklace during the day when maybe she doesn't wear.

Speaker B

When she just does, she'll want to put on her makeup.

Speaker B

Maybe just if we're going to go out and get a quick bite because she wants to look good for me and then she feels better about herself.

Speaker B

Now I'll shut up and you can go on.

Speaker A

Well, and I'll sometimes I'll even ask Greg if we're going to make a quick run to international Walmart or something.

Speaker A

I'll say, are you okay if I don't get my makeup and everything on.

Speaker A

He's like, are you kidding me?

Speaker A

Yes, you are.

Speaker A

Fine.

Speaker A

You know, so it's funny, you know, we'll just bring that up.

Speaker A

But keep yourself fit.

Speaker A

Women, how about it?

Speaker A

Spiritually, keep your soul fit, stay calm around the house.

Speaker A

When you're ready to just pull your hair out, keep your body in order, you know, do all those, make that a goal to keep yourself fit.

Speaker A

Spirit, soul, and body, you know, and then just do a dress up just because.

Speaker A

Dress up.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

You know, that's kind of a nice little throw in.

Speaker A

Yeah, just.

Speaker B

Just because I know there's times around both Linda and I kind of have our.

Speaker B

Like, you guys, your grub is on.

Speaker B

But sometimes I'll go, you know what?

Speaker B

I know Linda likes this particular shirt, and it's not one you get.

Speaker B

It's not a high dress up shirt.

Speaker B

But you know what?

Speaker B

I'll just put that on for that day or that afternoon and she'll go, man, I really like that shirt on you.

Speaker B

Of course that makes me feel good.

Speaker B

But it's those little things.

Speaker B

No, you don't have to look like a beauty queen every day.

Speaker B

But maybe those one days you just do certain things.

Speaker B

Even if you got a lot of little kids running around.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

That means when you do take that sometime, you got.

Speaker B

Oh, I got five minutes before it's bedtime for the kids or the.

Speaker B

My husband gets home.

Speaker B

Whatever.

Speaker B

Your schedules are.

Speaker B

Just that five minutes that you take to do something can.

Speaker B

Can make a lasting impact.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

By saying, you know what?

Speaker B

I love you and I appreciate you.

Speaker B

I want it to look good for you.

Speaker B

And that goes both ways, guys.

Speaker A

So does.

Speaker A

Okay, so what's the next point?

Speaker B

Okay.

Speaker B

Be his girlfriend.

Speaker A

Oh, yes.

Speaker B

Oh, yes.

Speaker A

Always.

Speaker B

And here I go again.

Speaker B

How can I be his girlfriend when I'm the mother of his three little ones?

Speaker B

You had twins.

Speaker B

One after that, you got another one in the hopper.

Speaker A

Here's some little ways.

Speaker B

Still be his girlfriend.

Speaker A

How can I be your girlfriend?

Speaker B

Treat him the way you did when you used to date.

Speaker A

Okay, I'll remember.

Speaker B

And that's.

Speaker B

It's an.

Speaker B

It's an attitude.

Speaker B

Yes, you've got work.

Speaker B

You're working all day long.

Speaker B

Yes, you're.

Speaker B

You're coming home and you got a dirty house to take care of.

Speaker B

Maybe you're empty nesters.

Speaker B

Maybe you've got the kids at home.

Speaker B

It's an attitude you have.

Speaker B

That's the little things.

Speaker B

See, when you were dating, you called each other.

Speaker B

Now when we were dating, you couldn't send a text and you had to use the phone on the wall.

Speaker B

But nowadays if you're a girlfriend, you're acting like a girlfriend.

Speaker B

You can send them a flirty.

Speaker B

How long does it honestly take you to send the flirty text?

Speaker A

Or even an emoji in emoji that has something on there, right?

Speaker B

Something.

Speaker B

See, there's ways that you can flirt.

Speaker B

This is 20, 26.

Speaker B

It's not down to where you got to be there in the, right there in front of them.

Speaker B

Now you guys know that you, you have, you take time to send a message to your mom or maybe one of your co workers or a girlfriend about what you want to do this weekend if you get free time.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Send one to your hubby, to your hubby, your boyfriend, your lover.

Speaker B

And when you're with him, hold his hand.

Speaker B

You know, hold his hand when you drive in the car or you go for a walk.

Speaker B

I saw a couple walking down the street yesterday.

Speaker B

It was a matter of fact, it's probably a little older couple, but they were holding hands.

Speaker B

Show him off.

Speaker B

When you get around, your friends say hey, this is my husband.

Speaker B

If they haven't met him before or just say, hey, doesn't he look sharp today?

Speaker B

You know, show him off, be proud of him.

Speaker B

I remember when Linda, I was dating her, we, she'd take me, we'd meet people, she would show me off, say hey, you know, here's, here's Greg.

Speaker B

We're dating, we're engaged, we're married, right?

Speaker B

And then just be flirty.

Speaker B

It only takes a moment.

Speaker B

If you're in there cooking, maybe he's helping you clean the dishes.

Speaker B

Just walk over there, give him a little hug, grab his booty and just say, hey, I'm thinking about you.

Speaker B

Tonight might be the night, your arms around, you know, next month might be the month, whatever.

Speaker B

But just give them a lord, you know what, you're working.

Speaker B

How many times do we hear about people having affairs with the co worker?

Speaker B

Yeah, you know what we do?

Speaker B

You're working, your husband's working.

Speaker B

Have an affair, have a love affair.

Speaker B

You're both working and then that evening you know you're going to come home and have a rendezvous because you set up to get the kids in bed early, you got the meal pre cooked and you say, you know what?

Speaker B

I'm going to have a little rendezvous with my lover.

Speaker B

And you get everybody in bed.

Speaker B

Maybe you hop in and get a quick shower or perfume on or whatever you guys like in your routine and you have some time together.

Speaker B

You got to be creative.

Speaker B

But that's what Happened when we were dating in those honeymoon years before the kids came.

Speaker B

You got creative.

Speaker B

You were, you had the, the, you know what, the more you do this, the more you're going to be stirring up the hormones.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker B

Get that 10 second kiss in with your hubby.

Speaker B

If he's not doing the 10 second, you do the 10 second kiss in the morning or when you get home, get those home, get those hormones going.

Speaker A

You know, when you do that, he's going to be more willing to help you get the chores around the house done and get the kids in bed so that you can have that alone time together.

Speaker A

So be flirty, girls.

Speaker B

Be flirty.

Speaker B

Be his girlfriend.

Speaker B

Okay, we're going to close up 31.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

You want to tell us what happened with her?

Speaker B

Yeah, I just, this is just a really.

Speaker B

We've shared this a couple times on this, on this series, but it says an excellent wife who can find.

Speaker B

You know what?

Speaker B

He found you.

Speaker B

So he found an excellent wife.

Speaker A

Yes, he did.

Speaker B

All right.

Speaker B

See yourself that way.

Speaker B

See yourself.

Speaker B

Don't listen to the world.

Speaker B

Don't listen to way maybe he's treated you in the past.

Speaker B

See yourself as an excellent wife for her worth is far above jewels.

Speaker B

Listen to this.

Speaker B

The heart of her husband.

Speaker B

Trust in her and he will have no lack of gain.

Speaker B

In other words, he's going to be satisfied.

Speaker B

Why?

Speaker B

Because you're, you're, you're loving him the way God has called you to love him.

Speaker B

So that's why his, his heart trust in you because he knows that you have, you have his best interest in mind.

Speaker B

You're following what God says and how to treat your husband.

Speaker B

And he feels loved by you.

Speaker B

He feels like you're his number one fan.

Speaker B

Okay.

Speaker B

And says she does them good and not evil all the days of their life.

Speaker B

That means she's, she's, she's.

Speaker B

Like it said in Corinthians, she's striving to please him not to be a servant because she loves him and she wants his well being.

Speaker B

It says she looks well to the ways of her household.

Speaker B

That means she's trying to make her house a haven for you just like he is trying to be the leader and, and take care of you.

Speaker B

It says her children rise up and bless.

Speaker B

I'm going to back up.

Speaker B

It says she looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Speaker B

You know what?

Speaker B

If you choose not to do these 15 different nuggets that we shared, you choose not to put your husband first or to Please him to have a passion, his needs.

Speaker B

You choose to say, you know what?

Speaker B

He doesn't deserve it, or, I'm too tired, I'm worn out.

Speaker B

He doesn't do anything for me.

Speaker B

Why should I love him?

Speaker B

That's eating the bread of idleness.

Speaker A

That's true.

Speaker A

That's a very good point.

Speaker B

That's eating the bread of idleness.

Speaker B

Yeah, but you know what?

Speaker B

When you seek to have a good household, to do your part of that and to put your husband and please, I mean, to please him.

Speaker B

It says, her children rise up and bless her.

Speaker B

You know what such a blessing is?

Speaker B

When Jason and Jason and Tiffany, our son and daughter, tell Linda says, I want.

Speaker B

I want.

Speaker B

I want to be a wife the way mom is.

Speaker B

When Tiffany says that I want to be like her and Jason says, you know what, mom?

Speaker B

I want my wife to be like you.

Speaker B

That's her children rising up and praising her.

Speaker B

And then it says, many daughters have done.

Speaker B

This is the husband.

Speaker B

Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.

Speaker B

See, this isn't about you just being a doormat or some type of servant or just loving somebody.

Speaker B

That's a ding dong.

Speaker B

No, you're doing an honorable thing.

Speaker B

Your husband notices it.

Speaker B

It will impact his life.

Speaker B

Go back to what Linda read that quote from the other person, Elaine Creedman.

Speaker B

He says he she captivated.

Speaker B

He was.

Speaker B

He was captivated by the way she treated him.

Speaker B

That's what you're doing.

Speaker B

And then God's going to come in, especially God when you get up to heaven, he's going to say, you did well, did good.

Speaker B

But your husband's going to say, you excel them all.

Speaker A

Very good.

Speaker A

Very good.

Speaker A

Thank you.

Speaker A

So, Honeydews, a few things.

Speaker A

Number one, show your appreciation towards your husband by doing something different than you've done before.

Speaker A

Or maybe you haven't done it in a long while.

Speaker A

Look, as big, you know, rock his world.

Speaker A

You may not know what flick is big means, but you'd have to go.

Speaker B

Back to the 70s.

Speaker A

Back in the 70s, when they had the big stick pins, then they had.

Speaker B

One that would click.

Speaker A

They started saying, click the big or rock his world.

Speaker A

You know, do that.

Speaker A

So do that.

Speaker A

Women.

Speaker A

That's one thing you can do until we meet again on this episode.

Speaker B

And number two is you start the.

Speaker A

10 Second kiss just like Greg said.

Speaker B

Pull your husband up.

Speaker B

Say, come here, you big hunk of burning love.

Speaker B

Get over here.

Speaker B

I want to lay a good one on you for at least 10 seconds.

Speaker B

All right, There we go.

Speaker B

And say, hey, Siri, set my timer for 10 seconds and let him have it.

Speaker B

You know what?

Speaker B

Stir him up.

Speaker B

Rock his world.

Speaker B

Flick his Bic in the morning and say, I can't wait for you to get home, big boy.

Speaker A

Flick his Vic in the afternoon.

Speaker A

Flick his Vic all night long and.

Speaker B

They'll tell you what he might do.

Speaker B

All right.

Speaker B

All right.

Speaker A

Well, a couple things, you know, like like we said earlier, we'd love to hear your comments and if you have any questions or if you got certain topics that you'd like us to cover in our podcast, well, let us know us know.

Speaker A

Send us a voicemail or text us or even email us the phone number and email address going to be in our show notes so you can do that.

Speaker A

If you have a prayer request, we are always praying for our our couples, for marriages.

Speaker A

For the people that are on our mailing list, we are praying for you.

Speaker A

If you have a specific prayer request, feel free to contact and let us know.

Speaker A

And once again, thank you so much for joining us.

Speaker A

I hope you've gotten inspired by today's message.

Speaker A

We're going to see you next episode.

Speaker A

And until then, remember this.

Speaker A

You can be married and love it on purpose.

Speaker C

Thank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the Married and Love it podcast.

Speaker B

Be sure to be a part of.

Speaker C

The ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and love it.

Speaker C

Also, subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about Married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have.

Speaker C

And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and love it on purpose.