EP 63. Practical Tips on How to Love Your Husband God's Way. PT 3
The central theme of this podcast episode revolves around the profound impact a wife's attitude and actions can have on her husband, particularly in the context of love and support. We, Greg and Linda Smith, delve into the intricate dynamics of marriage, emphasizing the importance of treating one's spouse with reverence and attentiveness. Drawing from both scripture and our extensive experience, we explore practical strategies that wives can employ to uplift their husbands, thereby fostering a nurturing and harmonious relationship. This episode continues our series on loving your husband in alignment with divine principles, offering insights that are not only applicable but also transformative. Join us as we navigate these essential topics, aiming to equip you with the tools to cultivate a flourishing marriage.
Takeaways:
- Investing time in understanding your husband fosters a deeper connection and love.
- A wife's role in honoring her husband is fundamental to a thriving marriage.
- Communication is essential; express your needs clearly to avoid misunderstandings.
- Forgiveness is a crucial aspect of a loving relationship; be quick to apologize.
Use this link for email sign up:
https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/LFxOu11
Website: www.marriedandloveit.com
E-mail address is marriedandloveit1977@gmail.com
phone 984-270-6062
Welcome to the Married and Love it podcast.
Speaker AWe're Greg and Linda Smith, your hosts from Raleigh, North Carolina.
Speaker BIt's great that you're taking time to invest into your marriage by listening to your weekly dose of marriage insights.
Speaker BWe'll discuss all aspects of marriage, including the hot topics of sex, love, communication and more.
Speaker AOur insights and lessons are based on Christian principles plus over 48 years of marriage and ministry experience.
Speaker BOur goal is to help you make your marriage great by equipping you to be married and love it.
Speaker AIt's an honor and privilege to have you join us.
Speaker AHey, thanks for joining us today to get your weekly dose of Married and Love it your booster shop for the week.
Speaker AIn today's episode, we're going to continue our series on how to love your husband God's Way.
Speaker AAnd Ellen Keedman quoted this she said, most men I have interviewed, whether married or single, agreed that they felt captivated by special woman who is able to make them feel stronger, more capable, more intelligent, sexier, or more knowledgeable than they had felt about themselves before these women came into their lives.
Speaker AI think that's pretty interesting, isn't it?
Speaker BThat's true.
Speaker BIt just kind of shows how a wife is treating and speaking to and loving on her husband impacts his life.
Speaker AWhat a difference it makes.
Speaker BYes, it's going to be a good podcast today episode, I should say, talking about that.
Speaker AWell, in part two, our last episode, we talked about asking yourself, how can I honor my husband and make his life easier for him today?
Speaker AHow can I bless him today?
Speaker ASo we're going to continue on some ways that you can be doing that.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker BAnd we're going to start off with the scripture today for this because what a wife's goal for her husband is and how she wants to take care of him and minister to him and love on him is very important.
Speaker BAnd God gives us some instructions on how to do that.
Speaker BSo we're going to start off with First Corinthians 7 through 32 and 34, which basically talks about pleasing your spouse.
Speaker BAnd we're going to look at here.
Speaker BIt talks about a wife being concerned about pleasing her husband.
Speaker BHe says, you know what, she's busy in life.
Speaker BShe can't, she can't even do a lot of ministry stuff like they talked about back in, in, in the Bible because she's concerned about taking care of her husband.
Speaker BSo we see there that it's a deliberate thing.
Speaker BYou know, Linda wakes up and she does think a lot of days, how can I take care of Linda?
Speaker BI mean, Take care of me today.
Speaker BYou know, that's the selfish side.
Speaker BWe wake up in the morning.
Speaker BWe do.
Speaker BMaybe that wasn't me having to slip of the tongue.
Speaker BIt was just saying sometimes we wake up.
Speaker BLike Linda just said, what about me?
Speaker BWhat about me?
Speaker BYeah, what's Greg gonna do for me today?
Speaker BIs he gonna get my coffee this morning?
Speaker BIs he going to wash the car?
Speaker BIs he going to take out the garbage today?
Speaker BIs he going to vacuum the floor?
Speaker BIs he gonna tell me how much money I can spend or can't spend?
Speaker AYes.
Speaker AYes.
Speaker AThat's a good one.
Speaker BYou know, what's he going to do for me?
Speaker BNo.
Speaker BGod says we should wake up in the morning and say, how can my.
Speaker BHow can I make my wife or my husband's life better today?
Speaker BHow can I bless them?
Speaker BSo we're not going to talk about the husbands today because talking about how they take care of the wives a few episodes back.
Speaker BSo check that out.
Speaker BBut it talks about how can I please my husband.
Speaker BYou know, one way to do that is to become an expert on your husband.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BThe longer you're married, I mean, you learn a little bit when you're dating, and then after you say, I do, he can even change a little bit because he's captured you.
Speaker BAnd now he may be having to do some adjustments, but for you, become an expert.
Speaker BAnd that takes time.
Speaker BWe've been married 48 years, and Linda still learns things about me because I change.
Speaker AYou know, we're ever changing every day.
Speaker BWell, they say.
Speaker BThey say you can be married to a different spouse four or five times through your marriage because seasons change.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker BYou know, Linda, because of all the health challenges she's had and things we've gone through, she can't be the wife she wants to be a lot of the times because there's things there hindering it.
Speaker COr.
Speaker BAnd when you get older, like we are, things change, desires change.
Speaker BBut.
Speaker BSo you're constantly learning how to please your husband.
Speaker BSo be an expert on that.
Speaker BAnd you know what?
Speaker BThe more you learn and the better you understand your spouse.
Speaker BYour.
Speaker BYour husband in this case.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BThe better you know how to love them and meet their needs.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AIt's all about preferring him over ourselves.
Speaker AWomen.
Speaker BThat's right.
Speaker BNow, next, scripture right here, Philippians 2, verses 3 and 4, talks about that.
Speaker BIt says, do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, humbling yourself, willing to.
Speaker BTo.
Speaker BTo put your life out there and serve somebody else and minister to them.
Speaker BNo, we're not talking about anybody being a doormat or being a slave to somebody or all I got to do is I got to take care of my husband.
Speaker BWhat about me?
Speaker BWhat about me?
Speaker BLike we said, you know what the word says, Treat others the way you want to be treated and what happens, it comes back to you.
Speaker BGiven, will be given back to you.
Speaker BSo if your husband, right now you're saying, I don't know if I want to try to please my husband.
Speaker BHe's lazy, doesn't care about anything but playing golf or going to work and getting up atta boys from his boss.
Speaker BWell, maybe you need to be giving them some atta boys while he's home.
Speaker BAnd, and we're going to talk about that in a few minutes.
Speaker BBut it's a decision.
Speaker BSo do nothing from selfishness but humility of mind.
Speaker BLet each of you regard one another as more important than himself.
Speaker BSo this is a decision.
Speaker BAnd I know some of you, some of the listeners today are young moms at home taking care of your, your children.
Speaker BMaybe you work full time and taking care of the children.
Speaker BMaybe you're older in life and the kids are gone and things aren't right at home because you didn't spend time with one another and work on your marriage when you were had the kids at home and you're just kind of drifting.
Speaker BWhatever it is, it says let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.
Speaker BDon't merely look out for your own personal interest, but the interest of others.
Speaker BIt's a decision.
Speaker BIn the midst of life, it's a decision.
Speaker BYes, maybe everything is good.
Speaker BYou're just super busy.
Speaker BYou know, we had a episode a while back.
Speaker BWe call it being crazy busy.
Speaker BYou just got busyness.
Speaker BAnd believe me, we can relate to that.
Speaker BBut you know what, you still got to make a decision to say, am I going to put my spouse first today?
Speaker BWhy does one thing I can do to bless my spouse, to bless my husband right today in the midst of everything.
Speaker BSee, it's a decision to do it.
Speaker BSo there's no excuses.
Speaker BAnd it comes back to, you don't have to like doing it, you just need to do it.
Speaker BYou just got to do it.
Speaker AWell, let's do a little recap.
Speaker ASo we had touched on some other ideas on how to do this in the last episode, but I'm just going to touch do a quick little recap.
Speaker AOne of them was by understanding your husband.
Speaker AIf we learn how to understand him, then that's going to make a big, big difference.
Speaker AWe talked about the different personality styles.
Speaker AAnother one was learning his love languages.
Speaker AThat is a big deal on figuring out what's your husband all about and what really does bless him, what would make his life easier.
Speaker AAnother one is to do your part to keep the sizzle in your sex life.
Speaker AYeah, that's a good one.
Speaker ADo you thumbs up on that, dear?
Speaker BDefinitely.
Speaker BYou can say it again.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnother one is actually ask your husband's advice and his opinions on decisions that you may be making.
Speaker AMaybe it's something going on with your kids, or maybe it's a schedule decision you're having to make on your schedule.
Speaker AMaybe it's just something that you're trying to decide what pair of shoes to be wearing to church that day, you know, so that's one.
Speaker AAnother one was to remember the little things that are special to your husband, like his desires.
Speaker AMaybe he has had past requests, things like that, you know, a favorite meal, that kind of thing.
Speaker AUm, and then another one is to praise and brag on him in front of your friends and family.
Speaker BYou can feel free to brag on right now while we're in any time.
Speaker AYou know, we always say his ego is so big, his head so big, he can't get it through the doorway.
Speaker AWell, you know what?
Speaker AThat's not true.
Speaker AThe men need to be bragged on.
Speaker ATheir ego needs to be inflated at all times.
Speaker AAnd number seven was another one.
Speaker AStudy and gain an appreciation for the work that he does and then express it to him.
Speaker BYes, those are verbally.
Speaker ATell him all about that.
Speaker ASo go back and listen to the.
Speaker BLast few podcasts, podcasts 61 and 62.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker AYeah, so those are some recaps before we move on to the more practical way.
Speaker BA couple things here.
Speaker BFirst of all, we.
Speaker BWe did not get this episode out last week.
Speaker BWhen we like to do that.
Speaker BWe had some technical issues came up.
Speaker BAnd then as we're getting out, taking care of life issues hit.
Speaker BSo we're running a little behind.
Speaker BSo we did get it out today, so enjoy it.
Speaker BAnd then we'll have another one, hopefully coming out in the next couple of days to stay on track.
Speaker BBut before we move on, I just want to tell you we do have a newsletter.
Speaker BAnd if you're not on our newsletter list, at the bottom of our show notes, you can go down there and say, hey, I want to get more information, some more insights, some more doses of marriage teaching, and just send us your email.
Speaker BThere's a little link that you can click on and it'll get all that taken care of for you also follow and describe.
Speaker BSubscribe to our our podcast.
Speaker BThat way you'll know or be able to see on your.
Speaker BYour podcast information that we've got a new episode up.
Speaker BAnd of course, always share.
Speaker BShare this episode with somebody that you, you love or don't love.
Speaker BMaybe they're somebody you've never met before.
Speaker BSend them, let them know about it.
Speaker BAll right.
Speaker ASend us topics and questions too.
Speaker AAny comments you want to make.
Speaker AYeah, send that to us through that.
Speaker BSo let's move on.
Speaker AOh, and rate and review.
Speaker BYeah, that's.
Speaker AI'd love to get that five star rating.
Speaker BThat's right.
Speaker AAll right, well, okay, moving on.
Speaker AHere are some more practical ways that we can show our husband how we love him.
Speaker AShow him that we are loving him the way God would want him to be loved on.
Speaker ASo number eight was do not expect him to read your mind.
Speaker AThat's a biggie.
Speaker AWe women, we want our husbands to read our mind.
Speaker AWe got to tell them, girls.
Speaker AWe got to tell them exactly, you know, hints.
Speaker AThey do not work.
Speaker AThey don't.
Speaker AIf you want to go out to eat, well, tell them you want to go out to eat.
Speaker ANot out of the kitchen, into the dining room to eat, out to a restaurant to eat.
Speaker ATell them that you don't want to do all the cooking and everything.
Speaker BAnd maybe give, give them a choice of two or three restaurants you would like to go to.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker ACommunicate.
Speaker ACommunicate your needs and wants.
Speaker ALet them know.
Speaker ADon't expect he's going to read your mind.
Speaker BDon't go through and say, you know, we don't have anything thawed to cook.
Speaker AI don't know what I'm gonna cook.
Speaker AThose are hands.
Speaker AThat's going to guess fly, right?
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BThey'll get creative and say, let's have eggs or hot dogs.
Speaker AOh, yeah, you know, so another, you know, like if you need help doing the chores, we'll tell them.
Speaker ADon't expect that.
Speaker AHe's just going to look around and see that you're like overwhelmed with all the dishes in the sink, getting the kids homework, all that.
Speaker ALet him know, can you help the kids in the bathtub tonight.
Speaker BBe specific.
Speaker ABe specific.
Speaker AYou got to tell them directly.
Speaker AAlso, if, you know, if he poured the milk and he emptied it all out that morning, he's not going to automatically think to pick up some milk or maybe the bread ran out from the store.
Speaker BI'm glad you never have to deal with that.
Speaker ASo I know.
Speaker AAnd you know, he's not going to think in his head on the way Home to stop at the store and pick up milk or bread.
Speaker ACall him, text him, let him know, tell him that the milk ran out that morning.
Speaker AWould he please stop and get some.
Speaker AYou know, we got to be specific.
Speaker AThat's very important.
Speaker ADon't think that he's going to know that.
Speaker AHe's just going to know what is needed or, or wanted.
Speaker AAnd, you know, this doesn't apply to just stuff around the household.
Speaker AIt can be applied to any area of your life.
Speaker ADuring your sex life, if there are certain things that you like him to do or not do, well, you can expect that he is going to underst.
Speaker AHe.
Speaker AHe's not going to just.
Speaker AYou're going to tell them.
Speaker AYeah, you got to be specific.
Speaker BDon't worry about hurting his ego.
Speaker BHe'll learn.
Speaker BMost men would rather learn how to the please their wife in all areas of life.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BBut especially in the sexual area.
Speaker BMaybe their ego takes a hit.
Speaker BBut you know, what if, if things aren't done right in all areas, it's going to cause conflict and more problems down the road.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker ANow, another key note is Unicom.
Speaker AYou may have to tell them again and again when you need help because things could change.
Speaker AHe's not just.
Speaker AI mean, he may vacuum the floor one time and then think, oh, well, did my part.
Speaker AOh, that's not true.
Speaker AThe next day, a bunch of mud might have got brought in or, or came in.
Speaker AYou need to sweep the floor.
Speaker ATell them exactly what you need for that day.
Speaker AYeah, you know, it all changes.
Speaker ASo.
Speaker BAll right, next one.
Speaker BSupport your husband and his personal goals and dreams.
Speaker BCreate an atmosphere of growth for your husband.
Speaker BYou know, he's got dreams.
Speaker BHe may be wanting to lose weight.
Speaker BHe may be wanting to start a new business.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BHe may, he may have a calling on his life and he's been hesitant.
Speaker BAnd maybe, maybe the Lord's saying, hey, I'd love you to start leading a home group.
Speaker BOr maybe he.
Speaker BHe's saying he wants to be an usher and he doesn't like getting in front of people.
Speaker BOr he's got hobbies he would like to pursue.
Speaker BWell, find out what he wants, what his goals and dreams are, and encourage them in those areas.
Speaker BCreate a atmosphere of growth.
Speaker BIf he's wanting to go back to school to get another degree for his work, or maybe it's for ministry work or something like that.
Speaker BEncourage him.
Speaker BSay, you know what you can do that you're not too old or, here, I'll take this off your plate.
Speaker BI'll vacuum the Floors this week or whatever maybe he does around the house.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BSo you can have that time to do that.
Speaker BAnd don't sit there and say you're too old to do that.
Speaker BYou can never, you know, you don't like to get in front of people.
Speaker BI remember when I was.
Speaker BWell, we were probably still dating at this point.
Speaker BMaybe we were married.
Speaker BBut I remember I didn't like to us.
Speaker BI didn't ever wanted to usher in the youth ministry we were involved in.
Speaker BIt was a large youth ministry because I was too scared to go in front of people.
Speaker BBut yet she would encourage me.
Speaker BMy pastor, Jew pastor, would encourage me to get up there and get in front of people.
Speaker BBut.
Speaker BOr we were going to Bible college.
Speaker BI was going to Bible college.
Speaker BWe actually moved from Raleigh, North Carolina, not being from Charleston, South Carolina, to.
Speaker BTo Fort Worth, Texas to go to Bible college.
Speaker BIt was a step of faith.
Speaker BBut she said, you know what I feel like we're called to the ministry, both of us together.
Speaker BLet's pack up.
Speaker BAnd we moved to Fort Worth, Texas.
Speaker AWhen you went into Bible school, she.
Speaker BDidn't go, well, what are we going to do there?
Speaker BYour parents aren't there.
Speaker BMy parents aren't with us now.
Speaker BAnd they're not going to be as.
Speaker AFar as a little baby.
Speaker BWe have a little Tiffany.
Speaker BBut she.
Speaker BShe said, that's our dream.
Speaker BThat's your dream.
Speaker BWe're going to go out there and we're going to do what it takes.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AWe want to be number one fan losing weight.
Speaker BShe.
Speaker BLinda encouraged me through time.
Speaker BEvery so often she would still bring in.
Speaker BWell, that's another story.
Speaker BBut she would say, you can do this because she knew what it would do for me, what it does for our marriage and all of that.
Speaker BSo encourage them.
Speaker AYep.
Speaker BLet your husband express his heart to you and don't put them down.
Speaker BDon't be a negative Nancy.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker BDon't say you can't do that.
Speaker BWe can't afford that.
Speaker BNow, there might be a time to do some game planning to see where things would fit, but encourage them, no matter how crazy is.
Speaker BYou know what?
Speaker BIt's a lot better to have a man with a dream, with a vision, with a purpose, something he's wanting to put his life into, things that would help his family than some guy just sitting on the couch all the time watching sports and playing video games.
Speaker BEncourage him.
Speaker BBe his number one fan.
Speaker BAnd you know what?
Speaker BShow more interest in his life than anyone else would.
Speaker BLet him know that his life and he is the Most impert, important person in your life.
Speaker BBecause you know what?
Speaker BSomebody else will come along and start saying, man, you're the best boss we've had, or you.
Speaker BYou're so good at this and so good at that.
Speaker BYou be the one.
Speaker BYou be his number one fan.
Speaker BBe his number one fan.
Speaker BAnd know what?
Speaker BDon't compare him to your pastor, to your neighbor's husband, somebody else's church's husband, saying, man, he.
Speaker BThat they do this and they do that.
Speaker BWhy can't you do that?
Speaker BDon't compare them to other people.
Speaker BAnd finally, on this one, pray for him in all these areas.
Speaker BBe praying for your husband to excel at everything he is doing.
Speaker BCheer him on.
Speaker AYou can either pray with him if y' all are, you know, normally can pray together, or if not, well, then women.
Speaker AJust pray for him.
Speaker AOn your own time.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AIn your own prayer closet, you know, and then, you know, it's okay to tell them that you've been praying for him about those new hobbies or his schooling or if he's gonna.
Speaker AIf he is already in school and he's taking a test, tell him.
Speaker ATell him you're praying for him.
Speaker AOr if he's looking at a promotion at work, let them know that you're praying for him to get that promotion that he's looking for.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BAnd not.
Speaker BWe know a lot of men, you know, we hear that a lot of men are hard to pray in front of somebody else or they don't lead in prayer.
Speaker BWell, then that's where you step out and do the praying and just be an example.
Speaker BBe an example and just do it, and he'll catch on.
Speaker AAnd, you know, don't make it a long, lengthy thing like that.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AYou know, don't.
Speaker AYou don't need to pray for everybody across the seas and, you know, just make it a short, sweet little.
Speaker AI. I'm concerned.
Speaker AI'm.
Speaker AI'm praying for you.
Speaker AI'm covering you today.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASo number 10, be attentive to his concerns and his needs rather than your own.
Speaker AYou know, keep your radar up when women be aware.
Speaker AListen closely to what his concerns might be.
Speaker AListen to what his needs might be.
Speaker AJust in your conversation, he might be talking about this old shirt he's got and he'd like to get something different.
Speaker AWell, listen with your radar.
Speaker AListen with your radar up.
Speaker AYou know, like, for an example, the other day, we decided to go get a few things for Greg.
Speaker AWell, of course, my mind starts going, oh, I could use this.
Speaker AI could use that.
Speaker AI could use this, too.
Speaker ABut I said, no, I'm gonna.
Speaker AThis is all about Greg.
Speaker AIt's his turn.
Speaker AIt's time for him to be the one that we're looking for on this event.
Speaker BYeah, that's good.
Speaker BSo be attentive to your, to what your husband needs.
Speaker BLinda does real good at that.
Speaker BI'll be busy doing different things, and she'll think of something that maybe I need it to do, and she'll take care of it.
Speaker BYou know, in other words, say, have a passion to meet your husband's needs.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AOkay, so what's number 11?
Speaker BOh.
Speaker BListen attentively by focusing on him.
Speaker BIn other words, one area is don't make your husband compete with your devices.
Speaker BI mean, that is, you know, I, I.
Speaker BWe talk about devices.
Speaker BI remember when Linda and I first got married for the first.
Speaker BWe got married in 77.
Speaker BThere was no Internet.
Speaker BThere was no phones with you.
Speaker BEverywhere you went, it was then people would say, yeah, you go out to eat and you see the people reading their newspapers.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AYou know about it.
Speaker BCompete with the newspaper.
Speaker BNow it's the phones.
Speaker AThe phones, the iPads.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BSo don't make them compete with the.
Speaker BThe.
Speaker BYour phone, your lap.
Speaker BYour lap.
Speaker BWhat do you call iPads?
Speaker BYeah, yeah.
Speaker BThe tv, telephone, children doing the dishes, books, neighbors.
Speaker BWhen he's trying to talk with you, stop what you're doing.
Speaker APut things down.
Speaker BPut things down.
Speaker BEven if you think you can multitask, Right.
Speaker BHaving that icon, eye contact.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BPutting something down says, I'm listening, and maybe you are listening.
Speaker BI mean, Linda's real good.
Speaker BShe can do different things, but for me, I don't like it when she keeps tapping and scrolling even though she knows what she's doing.
Speaker BI don't.
Speaker BAnd I don't feel like I got her attention, even though I, I've.
Speaker BShe probably does because she'll say something.
Speaker BI know, but honor your husband in that area.
Speaker BAnd if for some reason you're doing something, maybe you're, maybe you're over by the stove and you're cooking and he starts talking and, and if you, if you take your eyes off the roast or the eggs or whatever it is.
Speaker AWhere you were just saying, just a minute.
Speaker BHey, dear, can you hold.
Speaker BI really want to hear what you say or what happened at work or what's going on in the yard or whatever it is and say, I need to pay attention to this for another three or four minutes.
Speaker BCan you hold that thought for a few minutes?
Speaker BSee, communication like that, that's inflates everything.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BSo give them your Undivided attention.
Speaker BWhether you walk in, it's the living room at night and y' all are talking or watching a show, just be aware of what his needs are.
Speaker BIf he's trying to share his heart.
Speaker BBecause anybody, if they get shut down or feel like they're not getting heard, eventually they're just going to give up and say, you know, they're not really interested in what I have to say or they don't want and they stop speaking and then they'll start closing up.
Speaker AYeah, we don't want that to happen.
Speaker ANumber 12, seek your husband's forgiveness whenever you offend him.
Speaker AYou know, women, be mature enough to admit when you're wrong.
Speaker AI know it doesn't happen hardly ever because we're normally.
Speaker AAnd also, you know, don't.
Speaker AIf you, if you ask him for his forgiveness, but then you end up with a but on the end of it, that's not sincere.
Speaker ADon't try to justify the wrongdoing.
Speaker AYou know, just say, I'm sorry, I was wrong.
Speaker BDon't go.
Speaker BI just want to let you know I forgive you for that.
Speaker BI.
Speaker BBecause I did A, B and C or whatever and.
Speaker BBut you did this, this, this and this.
Speaker BNo, that's, that's not a sincere apology.
Speaker AWe are asking our husband to forgive us, period.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker AYou know, and then just say, can you forgive me for that?
Speaker AYes, I was wrong and I'm sorry, period.
Speaker BRight, right.
Speaker AAll right.
Speaker ABecause you want to check the motive of your heart when you do ask him to forgive you.
Speaker AAnd you know, being right, it's overrated, you know, so also, you know, on the flip side, the same way you're asking his forgiveness, that then if your husband messes up, be willing to forgive him.
Speaker AIt's a two way street.
Speaker ABe willing to forgive him when he messes up.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker ASo think about that.
Speaker BAnd forgiveness is its own topic.
Speaker BSo you really know what we're talking about.
Speaker BWe got ask forgiveness and give forgiveness.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker BSo next one, let's move on.
Speaker BExpress your appreciation and to your husband through words or actions or deeds for what he's doing.
Speaker BVerbally praise your husband for something he has said and done.
Speaker ACatch him doing something good.
Speaker BYes, catch him something, dude.
Speaker BBut if your husband says something that's good or he, you see him working on his communication.
Speaker BMaybe he did pray.
Speaker AMaybe he did.
Speaker BAnd when you get off the floor, man, that was an awesome prayer.
Speaker BYou don't know how much that ministered to me by you praying.
Speaker BThat made my day.
Speaker BExpress that to him.
Speaker BSee you May.
Speaker BYou may walk away.
Speaker BSay your husband prayed.
Speaker BAnd he doesn't.
Speaker BHe's not usually a prayer.
Speaker BAnd you walk away.
Speaker BSay, praise God.
Speaker BI'm going to.
Speaker BOh, I got to go tell my.
Speaker BMy prayer partner that my husband prayed.
Speaker BAnd you don't say anything to your husband.
Speaker BGood intentions is not going to make him feel good or feel like he did the right thing.
Speaker BBut by you taking that moment to say, dear, I really appreciate it.
Speaker BYou praying today.
Speaker BYou don't know how powerful that was or how it ministered me.
Speaker BAnd I can't wait to see God come through on that answer.
Speaker BMan, he's going to feel like he.
Speaker BHe's the.
Speaker BThe Pope maybe or whatever, but.
Speaker BBut praise him.
Speaker BAs Linda just said, catch him doing something to good.
Speaker BAnd tell him.
Speaker BMatter of fact, Liz, Linda's talked a little earlier.
Speaker BBe aware.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BHave your radar on.
Speaker BAnd if you see somebody doing something, he took the garbage out.
Speaker BThey.
Speaker BThey did something right in the kitchen.
Speaker BMaybe he did some magic move in bed one night and you're like, whoa.
Speaker BLet them know.
Speaker BCatch them to him.
Speaker BBe aware of it and tell them, you know what, Also tell them something that you like about him.
Speaker BSay, you know, dear, I really like this about you.
Speaker BSomething about his character, maybe his ambitions in life, his strengths.
Speaker BBut find something every so often and just say, you know, I really appreciate your integrity.
Speaker BI appreciate it.
Speaker BYou not parking in that handicap parking place.
Speaker BOh, boy, that's a.
Speaker BThat's a big black here.
Speaker BBut not.
Speaker BNot parking in a handicap spot when you're not handicapped.
Speaker BSo let people.
Speaker BLet him know what you like about him.
Speaker ATell him that he looks really nice.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker AThat day when he leaves for work or, you know, when y' all are going off or, you know, to get with somebody else or whatever it may be.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BSay, I appreciate.
Speaker BI appreciate you putting on a different shirt this afternoon when we went out to have our lunch date.
Speaker BYou really look sharp.
Speaker ALook good today.
Speaker BSo let him know how his body's looking, if there's something on his body that's looking.
Speaker BMaybe he's done a little exercising in his biceps, moving out a little bit.
Speaker BSay, hey, man, walk over and squeeze it.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BLet them know things.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker BAnd thank them every day.
Speaker BHoney, I appreciate you going to work.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BI appreciate what you're doing.
Speaker BI appreciate you what you're doing around the house.
Speaker AThanks for bringing home the Bacon Express.
Speaker BAnd not put fuel in his tank.
Speaker BAnd if he's a acts of service love language.
Speaker BYou're gonna be.
Speaker BHe's going to be overflowing Right?
Speaker AUh huh.
Speaker AOr words of affirmation would be another love language on that.
Speaker BYeah, that's right.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASo thank him for going to work every day.
Speaker AThat's important.
Speaker AAnother one is to look good for him.
Speaker AWomen.
Speaker AYou know, I know that we can't always, you know, be on our best, you know, putting on a clean top or jewelry, makeup, whatever it is, you know, but do try to get out of the bathroom and slippers on the.
Speaker BWeekends if you know, I'm going to interrupt there for a minute.
Speaker BYou know, you're probably.
Speaker BSome of y' all may are saying, yeah, right, because on TV you always see everybody, everybody looks good when they're in their work or in their house.
Speaker BThey always got nice clothes on or even their sloppy clothes look really nice.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BBut you know what, it's not something, it's something you need to do.
Speaker AIt's important.
Speaker BIt's important.
Speaker BNot all the time.
Speaker AAsk him how he would like for you to dress around the house.
Speaker AYou know, that's a good way to do it.
Speaker AMake this a goal to, you know what, whatever he expresses.
Speaker AWell, try to, try to do that.
Speaker AYou know, also, you know, we dress up for everyone else.
Speaker AWhy don't we dress up for our husband at home?
Speaker BI remember one time you talked about, you said, yeah, people get dressed up to go to their doctor or the gynecologist.
Speaker AThey shave their legs, they shave their armpits, they go to work there.
Speaker AYeah, everything, you know, or they do all that for their co workers or to go to work, you know.
Speaker AWell, why don't we do it for our husband?
Speaker AI think that's a great thought to have.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BAnd that doesn't mean you've got a.
Speaker BWell, Linda's probably going to get to this.
Speaker BBut that doesn't mean at work he's expecting to look at your like going to work all day long.
Speaker BBut it's the little things that you can do.
Speaker BLinda will do this.
Speaker BShe'll put a nice shirt on or wear a necklace during the day when maybe she doesn't wear.
Speaker BWhen she just does, she'll want to put on her makeup.
Speaker BMaybe just if we're going to go out and get a quick bite because she wants to look good for me and then she feels better about herself.
Speaker BNow I'll shut up and you can go on.
Speaker AWell, and I'll sometimes I'll even ask Greg if we're going to make a quick run to international Walmart or something.
Speaker AI'll say, are you okay if I don't get my makeup and everything on.
Speaker AHe's like, are you kidding me?
Speaker AYes, you are.
Speaker AFine.
Speaker AYou know, so it's funny, you know, we'll just bring that up.
Speaker ABut keep yourself fit.
Speaker AWomen, how about it?
Speaker ASpiritually, keep your soul fit, stay calm around the house.
Speaker AWhen you're ready to just pull your hair out, keep your body in order, you know, do all those, make that a goal to keep yourself fit.
Speaker ASpirit, soul, and body, you know, and then just do a dress up just because.
Speaker ADress up.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AYou know, that's kind of a nice little throw in.
Speaker AYeah, just.
Speaker BJust because I know there's times around both Linda and I kind of have our.
Speaker BLike, you guys, your grub is on.
Speaker BBut sometimes I'll go, you know what?
Speaker BI know Linda likes this particular shirt, and it's not one you get.
Speaker BIt's not a high dress up shirt.
Speaker BBut you know what?
Speaker BI'll just put that on for that day or that afternoon and she'll go, man, I really like that shirt on you.
Speaker BOf course that makes me feel good.
Speaker BBut it's those little things.
Speaker BNo, you don't have to look like a beauty queen every day.
Speaker BBut maybe those one days you just do certain things.
Speaker BEven if you got a lot of little kids running around.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BThat means when you do take that sometime, you got.
Speaker BOh, I got five minutes before it's bedtime for the kids or the.
Speaker BMy husband gets home.
Speaker BWhatever.
Speaker BYour schedules are.
Speaker BJust that five minutes that you take to do something can.
Speaker BCan make a lasting impact.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BBy saying, you know what?
Speaker BI love you and I appreciate you.
Speaker BI want it to look good for you.
Speaker BAnd that goes both ways, guys.
Speaker ASo does.
Speaker AOkay, so what's the next point?
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker BBe his girlfriend.
Speaker AOh, yes.
Speaker BOh, yes.
Speaker AAlways.
Speaker BAnd here I go again.
Speaker BHow can I be his girlfriend when I'm the mother of his three little ones?
Speaker BYou had twins.
Speaker BOne after that, you got another one in the hopper.
Speaker AHere's some little ways.
Speaker BStill be his girlfriend.
Speaker AHow can I be your girlfriend?
Speaker BTreat him the way you did when you used to date.
Speaker AOkay, I'll remember.
Speaker BAnd that's.
Speaker BIt's an.
Speaker BIt's an attitude.
Speaker BYes, you've got work.
Speaker BYou're working all day long.
Speaker BYes, you're.
Speaker BYou're coming home and you got a dirty house to take care of.
Speaker BMaybe you're empty nesters.
Speaker BMaybe you've got the kids at home.
Speaker BIt's an attitude you have.
Speaker BThat's the little things.
Speaker BSee, when you were dating, you called each other.
Speaker BNow when we were dating, you couldn't send a text and you had to use the phone on the wall.
Speaker BBut nowadays if you're a girlfriend, you're acting like a girlfriend.
Speaker BYou can send them a flirty.
Speaker BHow long does it honestly take you to send the flirty text?
Speaker AOr even an emoji in emoji that has something on there, right?
Speaker BSomething.
Speaker BSee, there's ways that you can flirt.
Speaker BThis is 20, 26.
Speaker BIt's not down to where you got to be there in the, right there in front of them.
Speaker BNow you guys know that you, you have, you take time to send a message to your mom or maybe one of your co workers or a girlfriend about what you want to do this weekend if you get free time.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BSend one to your hubby, to your hubby, your boyfriend, your lover.
Speaker BAnd when you're with him, hold his hand.
Speaker BYou know, hold his hand when you drive in the car or you go for a walk.
Speaker BI saw a couple walking down the street yesterday.
Speaker BIt was a matter of fact, it's probably a little older couple, but they were holding hands.
Speaker BShow him off.
Speaker BWhen you get around, your friends say hey, this is my husband.
Speaker BIf they haven't met him before or just say, hey, doesn't he look sharp today?
Speaker BYou know, show him off, be proud of him.
Speaker BI remember when Linda, I was dating her, we, she'd take me, we'd meet people, she would show me off, say hey, you know, here's, here's Greg.
Speaker BWe're dating, we're engaged, we're married, right?
Speaker BAnd then just be flirty.
Speaker BIt only takes a moment.
Speaker BIf you're in there cooking, maybe he's helping you clean the dishes.
Speaker BJust walk over there, give him a little hug, grab his booty and just say, hey, I'm thinking about you.
Speaker BTonight might be the night, your arms around, you know, next month might be the month, whatever.
Speaker BBut just give them a lord, you know what, you're working.
Speaker BHow many times do we hear about people having affairs with the co worker?
Speaker BYeah, you know what we do?
Speaker BYou're working, your husband's working.
Speaker BHave an affair, have a love affair.
Speaker BYou're both working and then that evening you know you're going to come home and have a rendezvous because you set up to get the kids in bed early, you got the meal pre cooked and you say, you know what?
Speaker BI'm going to have a little rendezvous with my lover.
Speaker BAnd you get everybody in bed.
Speaker BMaybe you hop in and get a quick shower or perfume on or whatever you guys like in your routine and you have some time together.
Speaker BYou got to be creative.
Speaker BBut that's what Happened when we were dating in those honeymoon years before the kids came.
Speaker BYou got creative.
Speaker BYou were, you had the, the, you know what, the more you do this, the more you're going to be stirring up the hormones.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker BGet that 10 second kiss in with your hubby.
Speaker BIf he's not doing the 10 second, you do the 10 second kiss in the morning or when you get home, get those home, get those hormones going.
Speaker AYou know, when you do that, he's going to be more willing to help you get the chores around the house done and get the kids in bed so that you can have that alone time together.
Speaker ASo be flirty, girls.
Speaker BBe flirty.
Speaker BBe his girlfriend.
Speaker BOkay, we're going to close up 31.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AYou want to tell us what happened with her?
Speaker BYeah, I just, this is just a really.
Speaker BWe've shared this a couple times on this, on this series, but it says an excellent wife who can find.
Speaker BYou know what?
Speaker BHe found you.
Speaker BSo he found an excellent wife.
Speaker AYes, he did.
Speaker BAll right.
Speaker BSee yourself that way.
Speaker BSee yourself.
Speaker BDon't listen to the world.
Speaker BDon't listen to way maybe he's treated you in the past.
Speaker BSee yourself as an excellent wife for her worth is far above jewels.
Speaker BListen to this.
Speaker BThe heart of her husband.
Speaker BTrust in her and he will have no lack of gain.
Speaker BIn other words, he's going to be satisfied.
Speaker BWhy?
Speaker BBecause you're, you're, you're loving him the way God has called you to love him.
Speaker BSo that's why his, his heart trust in you because he knows that you have, you have his best interest in mind.
Speaker BYou're following what God says and how to treat your husband.
Speaker BAnd he feels loved by you.
Speaker BHe feels like you're his number one fan.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker BAnd says she does them good and not evil all the days of their life.
Speaker BThat means she's, she's, she's.
Speaker BLike it said in Corinthians, she's striving to please him not to be a servant because she loves him and she wants his well being.
Speaker BIt says she looks well to the ways of her household.
Speaker BThat means she's trying to make her house a haven for you just like he is trying to be the leader and, and take care of you.
Speaker BIt says her children rise up and bless.
Speaker BI'm going to back up.
Speaker BIt says she looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Speaker BYou know what?
Speaker BIf you choose not to do these 15 different nuggets that we shared, you choose not to put your husband first or to Please him to have a passion, his needs.
Speaker BYou choose to say, you know what?
Speaker BHe doesn't deserve it, or, I'm too tired, I'm worn out.
Speaker BHe doesn't do anything for me.
Speaker BWhy should I love him?
Speaker BThat's eating the bread of idleness.
Speaker AThat's true.
Speaker AThat's a very good point.
Speaker BThat's eating the bread of idleness.
Speaker BYeah, but you know what?
Speaker BWhen you seek to have a good household, to do your part of that and to put your husband and please, I mean, to please him.
Speaker BIt says, her children rise up and bless her.
Speaker BYou know what such a blessing is?
Speaker BWhen Jason and Jason and Tiffany, our son and daughter, tell Linda says, I want.
Speaker BI want.
Speaker BI want to be a wife the way mom is.
Speaker BWhen Tiffany says that I want to be like her and Jason says, you know what, mom?
Speaker BI want my wife to be like you.
Speaker BThat's her children rising up and praising her.
Speaker BAnd then it says, many daughters have done.
Speaker BThis is the husband.
Speaker BMany daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.
Speaker BSee, this isn't about you just being a doormat or some type of servant or just loving somebody.
Speaker BThat's a ding dong.
Speaker BNo, you're doing an honorable thing.
Speaker BYour husband notices it.
Speaker BIt will impact his life.
Speaker BGo back to what Linda read that quote from the other person, Elaine Creedman.
Speaker BHe says he she captivated.
Speaker BHe was.
Speaker BHe was captivated by the way she treated him.
Speaker BThat's what you're doing.
Speaker BAnd then God's going to come in, especially God when you get up to heaven, he's going to say, you did well, did good.
Speaker BBut your husband's going to say, you excel them all.
Speaker AVery good.
Speaker AVery good.
Speaker AThank you.
Speaker ASo, Honeydews, a few things.
Speaker ANumber one, show your appreciation towards your husband by doing something different than you've done before.
Speaker AOr maybe you haven't done it in a long while.
Speaker ALook, as big, you know, rock his world.
Speaker AYou may not know what flick is big means, but you'd have to go.
Speaker BBack to the 70s.
Speaker ABack in the 70s, when they had the big stick pins, then they had.
Speaker BOne that would click.
Speaker AThey started saying, click the big or rock his world.
Speaker AYou know, do that.
Speaker ASo do that.
Speaker AWomen.
Speaker AThat's one thing you can do until we meet again on this episode.
Speaker BAnd number two is you start the.
Speaker A10 Second kiss just like Greg said.
Speaker BPull your husband up.
Speaker BSay, come here, you big hunk of burning love.
Speaker BGet over here.
Speaker BI want to lay a good one on you for at least 10 seconds.
Speaker BAll right, There we go.
Speaker BAnd say, hey, Siri, set my timer for 10 seconds and let him have it.
Speaker BYou know what?
Speaker BStir him up.
Speaker BRock his world.
Speaker BFlick his Bic in the morning and say, I can't wait for you to get home, big boy.
Speaker AFlick his Vic in the afternoon.
Speaker AFlick his Vic all night long and.
Speaker BThey'll tell you what he might do.
Speaker BAll right.
Speaker BAll right.
Speaker AWell, a couple things, you know, like like we said earlier, we'd love to hear your comments and if you have any questions or if you got certain topics that you'd like us to cover in our podcast, well, let us know us know.
Speaker ASend us a voicemail or text us or even email us the phone number and email address going to be in our show notes so you can do that.
Speaker AIf you have a prayer request, we are always praying for our our couples, for marriages.
Speaker AFor the people that are on our mailing list, we are praying for you.
Speaker AIf you have a specific prayer request, feel free to contact and let us know.
Speaker AAnd once again, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker AI hope you've gotten inspired by today's message.
Speaker AWe're going to see you next episode.
Speaker AAnd until then, remember this.
Speaker AYou can be married and love it on purpose.
Speaker CThank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the Married and Love it podcast.
Speaker BBe sure to be a part of.
Speaker CThe ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and love it.
Speaker CAlso, subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about Married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have.
Speaker CAnd remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and love it on purpose.





