Sept. 9, 2025

EP 43. Ten Steps to Treasuring Your Wife PT 4;

Show By Your Actions; Commit to Her Personal Growth and Desires And Health

Take Aways

  • Investing time in your marriage through resources like our podcast can significantly enhance your relationship.
  • The act of honoring your wife is demonstrated through meaningful actions that reflect her value and importance in your life.
  • Understanding your wife's needs and desires is essential for fostering a nurturing and supportive environment in the marriage.
  • Creating an atmosphere of growth and encouragement for your wife can lead to a more fulfilling partnership for both of you.
  • Men should prioritize their wives' personal growth and health by actively engaging in their aspirations and supporting their efforts.
  • Honoring your wife is a continuous commitment that requires consistent effort and thoughtful gestures to deepen your bond.

Links referenced in this episode:


Speaker A

Welcome to the Married and Love it podcast.

Speaker A

We are Greg and Linda Smith, your host from Raleigh, North Carolina.

Speaker A

It's great that you are taking time to invest into your marriage by listening to our weekly podcast.

Speaker B

The goal of our podcast is to provide you with a weekly dose of marriage teaching to help you stay focused on your marriage.

Speaker B

See it as freshening up your marriage, preventive maintenance, a marriage tune up or fan in the flames of romance, love and passion.

Speaker B

Well, you can even call it continuing education.

Speaker A

We will be covering everything that has to do with your marriage, including hot topics like sex, communication, love and much, much more.

Speaker A

Our teachings are based on Christian principles plus over 47 years of marriage and ministry experience.

Speaker B

We want to help you make your marriage great by teaching you how to be married and love it.

Speaker A

It is an honor and privilege to have you join us.

Speaker B

Hey, thanks for joining.

Speaker B

We are here to give you your weekly dose of Married and love it and that's going to help strengthen your marriage.

Speaker B

So today we're going to be talking about 10 steps to choosing your wife.

Speaker B

It's a continuation of a series.

Speaker B

This will be part four starts, I think with episode 40.

Speaker B

Is that right?

Speaker A

That's the introduction.

Speaker A

And then part one of the 10 steps starts on episode 41.

Speaker A

So we have a total of 10 steps.

Speaker A

And today we're going to hit a couple of more.

Speaker A

And as we do that, we're going to start off with just a little review of what we've covered as far as the topics.

Speaker A

First of all, I just want to say in Proverbs 18:22, it says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Speaker A

Or in the new living translation, it says, he who finds a wife finds a treasure.

Speaker A

And we all know what a treasure is, but it is a treasure.

Speaker A

A treasure is something that has value and is cherished.

Speaker A

And men in this particular way we're looking at this.

Speaker A

It's by our actions as a husband, by our actions that we do the things that we do and the words that we say, we reveal what or who is the number one treasure in our life.

Speaker A

And in other words too, do our words that we speak get backed up by our actions.

Speaker A

And I got a quick example.

Speaker A

I'm going to hit it.

Speaker A

A highlights of one I used back in episode 40 was when we were first married for two years, this is back in the 70s, long time ago, I was on a church softball team.

Speaker A

We had a game that night and I was committed to that team.

Speaker A

And we played and I was involved in a triple play.

Speaker A

Yes, we got three people out in one play.

Speaker A

My highlight reel of sports activities.

Speaker A

Well, after that game, I went home.

Speaker A

I was so excited, still have my uniform on, Ran into the house and say, hey, dear, guess what?

Speaker A

Your hero's home.

Speaker A

I didn't say hero, but that's what I felt like.

Speaker A

I'm home.

Speaker B

And I.

Speaker A

And I had a triple play in the game tonight.

Speaker A

I was excited, ecstatic.

Speaker A

And she goes, I said, I got a triple play.

Speaker A

She goes, well, see, what happened is earlier that day, Linda had set an appointment and got four, not one, not two, not three, but four wisdom teeth pulled that day.

Speaker A

So she was in pain.

Speaker A

They had gauze all in her mouth, probably taking pain medicine and not feeling good.

Speaker A

And her hero was committed to a softball team that I had to be there.

Speaker A

And so what message did I send?

Speaker A

What message did my actions center that night?

Speaker A

You know what it was?

Speaker A

Softball was more important than her health at that moment.

Speaker A

Now, she may have said earlier in the day, oh, go to the softball game.

Speaker A

Or when I came home, I said, is that okay if I still go to the game?

Speaker A

Which was d to ask.

Speaker A

And she may go, it's okay.

Speaker A

Well, ding dong.

Speaker A

I'd only been married for two years, so I didn't know she said this.

Speaker A

It meant the opposite.

Speaker A

So I hadn't learned that lesson yet.

Speaker B

Took a bit.

Speaker A

So again, our actions reveal what is most important in our life.

Speaker A

Maybe just at that one time.

Speaker A

But we got, we don't want to set a pattern that.

Speaker A

So husbands, whatever or whoever that you spend your most time on, think about the most is going to reveal what's in your heart and what you're placing the highest value in.

Speaker A

It needs to be.

Speaker A

And God says it should be your wife.

Speaker A

So we're going to continue to talk about that.

Speaker A

We've, We've talked about 10 steps or six steps so far.

Speaker A

I'm going to review those real quick.

Speaker A

You honor her by loving your wife.

Speaker A

And we go into detail on that in one of the other episodes.

Speaker A

Develop to honor your wife.

Speaker A

You develop a passion to meet her, needs to honor her, you understand her, to honor her, you praise her and be her number one fan.

Speaker A

To honor her, you're expressing, expressing, excuse me, affection towards your wife.

Speaker A

And then you honor her by keeping yourself fit in your spirit, your soul and your body.

Speaker A

And tonight we're going to get on to number seven.

Speaker A

But before we do that, we've got a couple announcements for you.

Speaker A

First of all, sign up for our newsletter if you haven't done that yet.

Speaker A

Just go to the bottom of the show notes, hit the link for newsletter and you can go in there and sign up for it.

Speaker A

We're offering you some valuable information that we know you'll enjoy and you can find out more stuff about what we got going on as that develops.

Speaker A

So sign up for the newsletter.

Speaker A

And number two, if you live in the Raleigh area this Friday night, September 12, the the church has this week been starting their little the little they call them little groups or home groups.

Speaker A

We call them meetups.

Speaker A

And we're doing one for seven weeks every other week on marriage, how to be married and love it.

Speaker A

Making marriage great.

Speaker A

And if you'd like to come be part of a group and you're in the Raleigh area, you don't have to go to our church, but you can come or you can come.

Speaker A

And that's Living Word Family Church in North Raleigh Lake Wake Forest area.

Speaker A

And go down to the bottom and send us an email.

Speaker A

We'll give you all the details for that.

Speaker A

Okay.

Speaker B

Also, be sure to tell your friends and family about our podcast.

Speaker B

Everybody knows somebody, so let them know and let us do the dirty work for you.

Speaker B

There might be questions that they have, maybe some of your children or even your great grandchildren.

Speaker B

And so share the podcast.

Speaker B

Okay, so let's go into the message.

Speaker B

We're moving on with number seven.

Speaker B

But before I say that, I just want to mention that there's a lot of women that work outside of the home today because they're looking for the honor, the fulfillment and significance that they're not getting at home from their husbands.

Speaker B

So they're going outside of the home and that should not be we should be seeing that they are getting the things fulfillment.

Speaker B

They're, they're feeling honored.

Speaker B

They feel like they're valued and their husbands are the ones that's telling them about it.

Speaker A

Yeah, that's our job, husbands, that our wives get that significance and fulfillment and honor from us.

Speaker A

So if they do go to work, it's maybe to make a paycheck and they're pursuing something that they love to do or want to do and are supporting the family.

Speaker A

And maybe they got a career or a passion.

Speaker A

But that significance needs to be coming from us.

Speaker A

Now we can support them and say, hey, you're doing a great job there, but they need to feel that from us so somebody else doesn't fill that void in the wrong way.

Speaker B

That's right.

Speaker B

Okay, number seven, show her honor by your actions first Peter 3:7 it talks about granting her honor so that your prayers may not be hindered or cut off and this is God talking to the men.

Speaker A

That's pretty powerful when he says, if you don't understand your wife and you're not granting her honor, it can hinder your prayers.

Speaker A

That's serious business.

Speaker B

That.

Speaker B

That's heavy.

Speaker B

Yeah, that's heavy duty and all.

Speaker B

You know what?

Speaker B

God wants his daughters to be taken care of.

Speaker B

And women, we are daughters of the king.

Speaker B

We got to get that mentality.

Speaker B

We're daughters of the king, but also our husbands need to get that mentality, and they should be taken care of.

Speaker B

And some of the things we'll be mentioning, it may be simple stuff and just real practical stuff, but it's a part of taking care of the king's daughter.

Speaker B

Okay, so one of the meanings of honoring your wife is ensuring that you recognize her presence and worth in the marriage.

Speaker B

In other words, she's not just someone to do the cooking, do the cleaning, do the laundry.

Speaker B

She has a presence in the home, and she is worth.

Speaker B

She has value and worth in that marriage.

Speaker B

She is your prime rib.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

She's been taken out of the side of the man's rib.

Speaker B

She is the prime rib of that marriage.

Speaker B

And so she is worthy of being honored because of that.

Speaker B

Another definition is of honor is to hold in high regard.

Speaker B

Great respect is given, fame is given, distinction to put on a pedestal.

Speaker B

Red carpet treatment.

Speaker B

So these are some of the things to be thinking about.

Speaker B

And I think there's some practical applications you had.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker A

And really, this is something that is practical.

Speaker A

It's not woo woo or real spiritual or whatever.

Speaker A

It's just good practical action steps, because the Bible's practical.

Speaker A

So here we go.

Speaker A

We're going to go over quite a few of these.

Speaker A

Just name them off real quick.

Speaker A

This is probably the most important one, man.

Speaker A

So pull up, lean into this, pay attention, Put the toilet seat down.

Speaker B

Yes.

Speaker A

That's honoring your wife.

Speaker B

Amen.

Speaker A

Don't have it where she lands on that cold, dirty rim and you hear a hollerer scream, all right, open her car door.

Speaker A

We talked about this in one of the other episodes in honoring your wife, but open the car door for her.

Speaker A

That's a sign of honor.

Speaker B

And women, let your man open the door for you.

Speaker B

Yes, Let him do that.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

And ladies, if your man doesn't open the car door, My mom did this to my dad one time where he got out of the car and he just took off walking to the door, and he walked down the road of ways, and my mom just stayed in the car.

Speaker A

And he got down there a Few.

Speaker B

Feet or wherever they were.

Speaker A

Yeah, he just turned around and looked and she was still sitting in the car.

Speaker B

She was waiting.

Speaker A

She had the walk back.

Speaker A

I think he got the picture of that.

Speaker B

But open the car.

Speaker B

That's just a little thing, but it says a lot.

Speaker A

Pull the chair out or pull, help her push the chair.

Speaker A

And maybe you're at a restaurant or something, you know, stand up when she comes into a room.

Speaker A

I know a lot of guys don't do this.

Speaker A

We don't see that happen that often.

Speaker A

But that's, that's the time sometimes when, you know, it doesn't mean every time she gets up and goes into the, out of the living room and comes back not standing up, but if you're in a meeting somewhere or at a church event or a restaurant, restaurant, and she comes back to stand up and, and grant her that honor and then wait on her.

Speaker A

Well, we know we have to wait on our wives a lot of times for something, but that's not what we're talking about.

Speaker A

Wait as in serving.

Speaker A

Wait on her and honor her by helping her with things that she needs.

Speaker A

If she needs a refill, you're out to eat at the restaurant and she needs a refill.

Speaker A

You be the one to kind of wave at the waitress or you get up and go get it if it's a self serve.

Speaker A

But wait on her around the house in different places.

Speaker A

Okay.

Speaker B

Some other things are to listen to her thoughts, listen to what she is saying, listen to her ideas, her insights, her desires, and then you know what, validate them.

Speaker B

That's important to her that you would take the time.

Speaker B

So when you're doing that, the another thing to honor her is to exercise patience because women kind of want to go through some details and it's going to take patience, men to let her just.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

When you're listening to her thoughts and talking.

Speaker A

Yes.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

Okay, so.

Speaker A

And then also on that, listening.

Speaker A

Guys, turn the TV off, DVR the program, pause it, put your phone down and look at your spouse.

Speaker A

Look around her eyes and listen to her honor her honor her time and her wanting to share her heart with you.

Speaker A

And again, exercise patience in many different areas.

Speaker B

All right, so next we would.

Speaker B

What would you say, dear?

Speaker A

Listen to our ideas.

Speaker A

Yeah, her insights and desires.

Speaker A

Validate them.

Speaker B

Validate them.

Speaker B

Okay.

Speaker A

Put her desires and needs first before yours.

Speaker A

Give her a night off.

Speaker A

You know, if you've got young kids, or maybe you do or don't, but maybe she works and has young kids.

Speaker A

Whatever the scenarios, give her a night off sometime.

Speaker A

Where she can just take a hot bath or maybe she wants to run up to the store for a minute and just look around, get some retail therapy.

Speaker A

Give her a night off and say, hey, I'll take care of the home front.

Speaker A

Now the other part of that is give her a night off from you.

Speaker A

Oh, where she doesn't even have to think about you.

Speaker A

Just.

Speaker B

Yeah, that's her.

Speaker B

What a novel idea.

Speaker A

And do do special things that express you care and you're concerned about her.

Speaker A

Think ahead.

Speaker A

But maybe her car needs to be washed.

Speaker A

Maybe she needs some gas.

Speaker A

Maybe like Linda's car gets pine needles in the windshield because she have to.

Speaker A

We park under a pine tree.

Speaker A

And when she gets out out to go drive, she can't do her windshield wipers because there's pine needles all in it.

Speaker A

So I get out and clean those every morning.

Speaker A

Or if I know she's going off, think of little things that she likes or needs to have done and do those things that show you're thinking of her and honor that way.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker B

Another idea would be to give her gifts.

Speaker B

The, the, it doesn't have to be elaborate gifts or anything like that.

Speaker B

Just, you know, box of Oreo cookies.

Speaker B

Cash is good gift.

Speaker B

Yeah, that's right.

Speaker B

Maybe something she's been admiring and you know it.

Speaker B

Then surprise her with it and get may pair earrings or something of that sort.

Speaker B

Help with the chores, you know, and you know, help without being told that that's an idea.

Speaker A

Say it again.

Speaker B

Help without being told.

Speaker B

Think ahead, like Greg says.

Speaker B

Hey, and also learn her love languages.

Speaker B

If you take the time to understand and learn her love languages, you're going to find that that is a source of honoring your wife.

Speaker A

And that can save you money, guys.

Speaker A

Because if your wife love language is not receiving gifts, everybody wants gifts now and then, so that's a given.

Speaker A

But if she's not into getting gifts and you're not knowing her love languages and you're spending money you don't need to be spending.

Speaker B

That's so true.

Speaker B

So that's so true.

Speaker A

Save money.

Speaker B

All right, how about some special treatments?

Speaker B

Send her off for a spa day, a massage, get her nails done, get her hair done, whatever.

Speaker B

It may be something that you just are saying, you know what this is?

Speaker B

Red carpet treatment day.

Speaker A

Yes.

Speaker B

Just for you.

Speaker A

Yeah, give her the royal treatment.

Speaker A

That's the bottom line overall, all of this stuff, just like you see when dignitaries come into the country and meet with the president or some type of a star comes in or some important person, people stand back or they, they Put the red carpet out or they treat them good.

Speaker A

You know, a lot of times when people visit people, they'll bring them flowers or a bottle of wine or do something.

Speaker A

They're honoring them.

Speaker A

So give your wife, mentality wise, the red carpet treatment, Give her the royal treatment.

Speaker B

That's good.

Speaker A

And men, the more you make honoring her a lifestyle, the less she's gonna wonder what your motives are.

Speaker A

Because how many times do we hear the story where the man comes home, he's got up some flowers and her or everybody that sees them buying the flower says, what'd you do wrong?

Speaker B

What do you want?

Speaker A

Well, if you make, if you do this as a lifestyle, that's not going to happen.

Speaker A

No, that's right, because you're going to be spoiling her.

Speaker B

What does that mean as a verb?

Speaker B

What does honoring verb.

Speaker A

As a, a, as a.

Speaker A

Honoring as a verb means fulfilling an obligation or keeping an agreement.

Speaker B

Like our wedding vows, right?

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

When you made your wedding vows, you stood there and said your vows.

Speaker A

No matter.

Speaker A

Maybe you made them up or used the standard ones.

Speaker A

You commit it to certain things in your relationship.

Speaker A

So that means if you're going to honor her, you're going to fulfill, you have an obligation to fulfill and keep the agreements that you made in your vows.

Speaker A

And this ties into honoring her means keeping your word day in and day out.

Speaker A

Can she count on it?

Speaker A

And trust your word?

Speaker A

Do your words mean anything to her?

Speaker A

See, we're all going to goof up sometimes or over commit.

Speaker A

Maybe we don't follow through, but overall, do your words mean anything?

Speaker A

Are you continually not fulfilling what you're saying?

Speaker A

Can she bank on your words?

Speaker A

Do you keep your words to your buddies or your boss more than you do to her?

Speaker A

Are you breaking commitments or forgetting things?

Speaker A

Do you do that with your boss?

Speaker A

What would happen, right?

Speaker A

You'd lose your job.

Speaker B

That's true.

Speaker B

And you know what, men just being able to trust your word, that is a safe place for us women.

Speaker B

That's like a security to her.

Speaker B

So you want to provide for her a place of security and are we ready to move on to the next one?

Speaker A

That's it there.

Speaker B

How about this?

Speaker B

Commit.

Speaker B

This is number eight.

Speaker B

Commit to her personal growth and her desires and her health.

Speaker A

Let me just say something on that.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

A lot of times, guys, we get so wrapped up in us, what we want to do, what we're trying to accomplish at work, what we're trying to do with the call of God on our life or whatever, our hobbies, our golf game, our.

Speaker A

Our score Our handicap, the football teams, we forget to think about what our wife needs, what she's wanting to grow in and develop in.

Speaker B

Yeah, we, we need encouragement when there's something in our life that we want to grow in.

Speaker B

And you know what, find out what does she want and what are some of the needs that she has and, and some of the desires also, you know, when you encourage her in that you create an atmosphere of growth.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker B

For her.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

So ask her about what some of her growth areas are.

Speaker A

What does she desire, what type of hobby does she have, what, what's her career things, what about how she feels about God using her hobby she might want to do.

Speaker A

And also what are her health goals and such.

Speaker A

And then when you ask her about that, begin to dream with her.

Speaker A

Say, hey, what if you did do this?

Speaker A

You know what?

Speaker A

Linda's, years ago, yeah, this is quite a few years ago, she was, she's, she's always been health minded and learning about vitamins and supplements, how they work, health and nutrition.

Speaker A

And she found out that she could go to this one class, maybe take three or four months from a health nutritionist and get certified as a nutritionalist.

Speaker A

So we, she told me about it and I said, you know what, that would be great because I know that's something you're excited.

Speaker A

Let's see what how much it costs.

Speaker A

Get that taken care of.

Speaker A

What's the time commitment?

Speaker A

Okay, it's going to be this.

Speaker A

Well, I'll tell you what, it's on Saturdays, I'll get your lunch prepared, get you all set to go.

Speaker A

So all you got to do is load up in the car and go.

Speaker A

When she would come home, I'd give her time to study and do all that.

Speaker A

And I was encouraging, say, man, you're doing good at this.

Speaker A

And then finally she got her certificate.

Speaker A

I celebrated that and encouraged her in that and, and if there was going to be ways to help people, I was saying, you know what, you can do that.

Speaker A

And then she also, in years before that, had a desire to teach aerobics.

Speaker A

And I said, that is awesome.

Speaker A

I don't mind seeing you in one of those aerobic outfits.

Speaker B

The Jane Fonda day.

Speaker A

But she ended up, back then I supported her in learning to get certified, ACE certified, whatever they call it, to be an aerobic instructor.

Speaker A

And then I, even when we were doing Families of Destiny, that was our original marriage ministry, we actually had rented a little building there in Fort Worth to hold our own classes.

Speaker A

And I said, hey, why don't you do aerobics class?

Speaker A

In the class, we got the space.

Speaker A

So she started doing her own classes.

Speaker A

See, I supported her in her dream, and that's what God's calling us to do.

Speaker A

Men to find out what our wives are excited about, what they're wanting to learn about, what they're putting their time into, and they want somebody to be there, to be their.

Speaker A

Their fan, to say, hey, you can do this.

Speaker A

What can I do to help you do this?

Speaker A

Allow her to be herself.

Speaker A

And this goes beyond the personality styles.

Speaker A

You know, Linda is a sanguine, which is all out there, excited life of the party.

Speaker A

I wasn't.

Speaker A

I was the opposite of that, and I put her in a box.

Speaker A

But see, we can do this.

Speaker A

That the same way when our wife has gifts and talents and things she wants to do, we can say, no, you don't need to do that.

Speaker A

You don't need to be a health instructor.

Speaker A

You don't need to teach a class.

Speaker A

You don't need da, da, da, da.

Speaker A

Or you don't know how to garden.

Speaker A

It'll never work.

Speaker A

But God's saying, you know what?

Speaker A

I've given you a treasure.

Speaker A

She's got talents in her.

Speaker A

I want you to help her develop those talents and be a blessing in different areas.

Speaker A

So don't put my daughter in a box.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

Encourage her to develop those gifts and talents and encourage her to get those creative feelings, you know, flowing.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

You know, some of the different hobbies that your wife might have, and you may not even realize it, is they love to garden.

Speaker B

Or maybe they would love to knit or crochet or quilt, or maybe they want to do painting.

Speaker B

I mean, there's so much out there that we women will put it aside because we think we're not worth that.

Speaker B

I mean, we need to be focusing on other things in the home.

Speaker B

But men, you know what?

Speaker B

Go ahead and encourage your woman to flourish in these areas.

Speaker B

Talk to her about it.

Speaker B

A fulfilled, flourishing wife can bring life to a marriage and add a bunch of spice.

Speaker B

Right, dear?

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

Linda, years ago, what?

Speaker A

I guess it was a few years ago.

Speaker A

It was right before.

Speaker A

Before some surgeries.

Speaker A

But she said, you know, I've always wanted to play the piano.

Speaker B

Oh, yeah.

Speaker A

And I go, oh, okay.

Speaker A

And then she would say, yeah, I want to learn.

Speaker A

Okay.

Speaker A

And so finally I said, all right.

Speaker A

I said, first I said, we can't afford a piano.

Speaker A

Probably gave her some excuses.

Speaker A

And then, you know what?

Speaker A

I said, let's get you a piano.

Speaker A

So we got it.

Speaker B

We'll get out a keyboard.

Speaker A

Keyboard.

Speaker A

Okay.

Speaker B

Keyboard.

Speaker A

Yes.

Speaker A

There is a difference.

Speaker B

We got a keyboard.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker A

So we found a keyboard, we made room for it, and then God provided somebody to come in and give her lessons.

Speaker A

And she did good at it.

Speaker B

I thoroughly encourage her.

Speaker A

So every so often I'd say, are you going?

Speaker A

Are you practicing?

Speaker A

How's it coming?

Speaker A

And she would play Chopsticks.

Speaker B

That's right.

Speaker A

But no, she learned some other things.

Speaker B

Couple other songs.

Speaker A

But I would encourage her in that.

Speaker A

And that's like a hobby she had.

Speaker A

All right.

Speaker B

Huh.

Speaker B

So you know what I think about a couple that we know at our church?

Speaker B

And her husband encourages her.

Speaker B

She's great at antiquing and going out and doing and junking is what we call it, doing discount shopping.

Speaker B

She loves all that.

Speaker B

And she's good at it.

Speaker B

And they.

Speaker B

They buy shacks, houses, and they gut them and they start all over.

Speaker B

And.

Speaker B

And the husband, he is fantastic at doing all the work, but she's a fantastic at decorating and finding stuff.

Speaker B

And so they just work together as a team.

Speaker B

That just is great.

Speaker B

But he encourages it, and she encourages him.

Speaker B

But, you know, it's kind of stuff like that that we're talking about.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker A

Because sometimes your.

Speaker A

Her gift may gel with some type of gift you have, and therefore you're able to do things together.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

You know, and I'm just going to say, for me and Linda, doing the ministry stuff that we've done ever since we got married, God has really called us together.

Speaker A

But we both have strengths, even doing ministry stuff.

Speaker A

But we have fun getting together and doing it.

Speaker A

Sure, we get tested at times, but it's something that you can do together.

Speaker A

So you never know when you start supporting your wife and encouraging in her areas, she may excel in that, but you never know.

Speaker A

You may get drawn into it.

Speaker A

It may complement something you're doing and you guys are doing it together, and that's even more fun.

Speaker A

And that the more you're together doing things, the more you're going to be together in other areas because you're becoming one in so many different ways.

Speaker B

That's right.

Speaker A

Now, another important thing here we mentioned is supporting your wife and her health.

Speaker A

So you need to find out what her physical goals are, her health, does she have health challenges?

Speaker A

If she got some things she's wanting to accomplish, and then you need to get in the corner with her and say, what can we do to help you reach those goals?

Speaker A

How can you get healthy?

Speaker A

Are you needing to go on a dieter?

Speaker A

Well, you don't necessarily ask your wife if she's needing to go on the diet.

Speaker A

But the point is, if she's doing a diet, you courage her in that.

Speaker A

There's been different times.

Speaker A

The Linda and I have been on diets together or not together or whatever, and working on our health, and we encourage each other and that we try not to bring them down.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

Tell her that you'll take her for a walk.

Speaker B

Y' all can go together for a walk and talk, so to speak.

Speaker B

If you can get away from the kids or if you don't have any children at home, you know, go to the gym together.

Speaker B

Dude, you know, go to the gym, then go out to eat.

Speaker A

But, yeah, do all that.

Speaker A

Provide that.

Speaker A

Provide those to help her reach her physical goals.

Speaker A

Now with her back surgery, she can't.

Speaker A

It's been hard for her to do certain things.

Speaker A

And I think on one of the last, last podcast, we talked about some of this.

Speaker A

But you know what?

Speaker A

I've done what I can to get equipment home in the home because she doesn't have the physical capabilities to do a lot of stuff in the gym.

Speaker A

And we've made an investment for her to have the right tools here so she can exercise at the house.

Speaker A

So support your spouse in any way possible regarding their health.

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker B

Find out what those resources might be.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

You know, talk, talk, talk, talk together about it.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Find out what tools she needs.

Speaker B

You know, come up with a game plan.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

That kind of thing.

Speaker B

What kind of school and is she interested in attending.

Speaker A

Right.

Speaker A

Or how much time does she need?

Speaker A

She need help if, if your wife's, say, going to take a class or maybe she's going to be teaching a class.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker A

Well, that's going to take some time.

Speaker A

How can you help her with her time to be able to accomplish that?

Speaker B

That's true.

Speaker B

So be a leader for her.

Speaker B

And how do you do this, men?

Speaker B

Well, you can set an example for her on how you actually live your life and how you pursue your life, you know, like with a good attitude or what are your work ethics.

Speaker B

What kind of determination do you have?

Speaker B

But be a leader.

Speaker B

Be an example for her on all that.

Speaker A

Set the pace.

Speaker B

That's it.

Speaker A

Set the pace for.

Speaker A

She needs somebody to help set the pace.

Speaker A

Because I know some of y' all may have wives that are go getters and you're trying to keep up with her, but you set the pace not only with your.

Speaker A

Your pace of stuff, but your attitude and your commitment to her.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker A

Next part is be our number one fan, which we've talked about different ways, but create an atmosphere with your words.

Speaker A

And that is so powerful.

Speaker A

Your actions are good, but with your words.

Speaker A

The Bible says in Proverbs 18:21, life and death are in the power of the tongue.

Speaker A

So as her leader and you somebody supporting her, you need to be planting seeds of greatness in her with your words.

Speaker A

In other words, you need to draw those out, the seeds that are in her to do what she's wanting to do.

Speaker A

By your words.

Speaker A

You want to have speak words that show honor, that build her self esteem.

Speaker A

You know, everybody really needs to feel good and wants to feel good about themselves.

Speaker A

You want to sow value into your wife.

Speaker A

You want to say things that are going to encourage her to grow.

Speaker A

You don't want to be a negative Norman.

Speaker A

My first name is Norman, so I don't get off on that one.

Speaker A

You don't want to be a negative Norman.

Speaker A

You want to be positive.

Speaker A

You want to be somebody that's causing a good atmosphere to grow in.

Speaker A

Let's say your wife is liking, she's likes reading the Bible.

Speaker A

She says, I want to do a Bible study.

Speaker A

Say, you know what, I want a little a meet up for Christian ladies.

Speaker A

First of all, you don't want to go.

Speaker A

No, you can't do that.

Speaker A

You know, you don't like to speak in front of people.

Speaker A

You're liable to get nervous.

Speaker A

No, you need to sit there and say, you know what, you can do this, let's sign you up and you can go to get training and you can do this.

Speaker A

So then the night comes, the first meetup night and she's going off to lead the meet up or maybe she's having at the house and you're going to go out and play, play pickleball or something.

Speaker A

And you don't, don't walk out the door going, well, have fun tonight.

Speaker A

But I sure hope you don't put those people, those ladies to sleep tonight when you're talking.

Speaker A

That would just deflate her and put this negative cloud.

Speaker A

That atmosphere is not good.

Speaker A

What you should say is, I know that the ladies in your group are going to be encouraged and motivated by the words.

Speaker A

You're going to speak to them as you guys get in the Bible.

Speaker A

You're going to be awesome.

Speaker A

I can't wait to hear about the response.

Speaker A

See the difference?

Speaker B

Yeah.

Speaker A

That life and death is in the power of the tongue.

Speaker B

That's true.

Speaker B

And you know what?

Speaker B

Also to when she comes home, ask her about how it went.

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Take an interest in finding out how did it all go.

Speaker B

You know, ask her how the women were, how did prayer Go take interest.

Speaker B

That's the whole thing.

Speaker B

And now another area, men, that we need to be encouraged in is to develop relationship with other women for her.

Speaker B

Not right?

Speaker B

That's right.

Speaker B

Let's clarify that.

Speaker B

We need girlfriends.

Speaker B

We need a girls night out and we should be encouraged to have girlfriends.

Speaker B

Okay, so think about that, men, because.

Speaker A

Sometimes you need to talk lady stuff.

Speaker A

Yeah, that's ladies, not just us men.

Speaker B

That's right.

Speaker B

And another area is to respect her domain.

Speaker A

This is big, right?

Speaker B

Domain.

Speaker B

Her home, that's her domain.

Speaker B

Proverbs 31 says she looks well to the ways of her household.

Speaker B

So that would be like in decorating or maybe she's a cook.

Speaker B

And so she needs certain kitchen tools to be able to cook in certain ways.

Speaker B

What are, what are her household needs?

Speaker B

You know?

Speaker B

Yeah, the pictures that she wants to put up on the wall, you know, let her, let her have her desire.

Speaker B

Let her, you know, men, you guys have your garage set up with your tools, right?

Speaker A

Yeah.

Speaker B

Certain drills, shovels, screwdrivers, stuff, right?

Speaker A

Special specialty tools, specialty tools.

Speaker B

Well, the women should have that as well.

Speaker B

She needs to have household stuff, her kitchen tools, her kitchen tools, the right.

Speaker A

Things to shred things.

Speaker A

And it's just as important.

Speaker B

Well, now some men, that they do the cooking in the home and that's not normal really.

Speaker B

I mean, but so we're just kind of talking in general.

Speaker B

The women, the kitchen is her domain.

Speaker B

So think about that.

Speaker B

Honor her with her to, you know, allow her to get the things, a certain pan or a certain spatula, whatever it might be.

Speaker A

And one thing I've learned, guys, is she may want something in that kitchen and you're going, well, you don't really need that.

Speaker A

Or here, there's this thing costs $10 here, or there's one for 15 or $20.

Speaker A

You say, well, just get the cheap one.

Speaker A

Well, what happens when you try to do buy cheap tools?

Speaker A

Sometimes they break, they don't perform and such.

Speaker A

Well, you need to listen to your wife and what she needs on that.

Speaker A

You need to respect her expertise in the kitchen.

Speaker A

I know almost all of our marriage, Linda's been in charge of the kitchen.

Speaker A

But since she's had all these surgeries these last few years, I've been in the kitchen and I've, I've got chicken breasts down, oil boiled, boiled eggs down, fried eggs and reheating food down.

Speaker A

But you know what I've learned?

Speaker A

There's certain tools, you know how to cook, but there's certain tools that I like.

Speaker A

And my limited get stuff that I Do.

Speaker A

But I want tools that work.

Speaker A

Like, I don't want a certain type of spatula.

Speaker A

Well, we need to respect and honor what your wife wants in her kitchen and in her house.

Speaker B

Well, once you got in there, you realized how it is important to use certain tools and you started getting picky about what you wanted to work with or not, right?

Speaker A

Yes.

Speaker B

So, I mean, and that's good.

Speaker A

Even decorating, like Linda mentioned while ago.

Speaker B

Right.

Speaker B

So honor your woman that way.

Speaker B

Men honor her with personal things like getting her hair done, her nails, or, you know, the things that are special to her.

Speaker A

Like that help her be a lady, help her be a princess.

Speaker A

Help her walk into the the building looking good and happy with her hair or her clothes.

Speaker A

Because sometimes guys, we don't care about that that much.

Speaker A

I mean, we all want to look good, but it.

Speaker A

There's something about ladies and how they want to be and present themselves.

Speaker A

Help her the best you're able to.

Speaker A

So in closing, guys, we talked about action words, and we talk about committing to helping your spouse be the best she can be in her life, in other words, and giving her the royal treatment.

Speaker A

So set that as a goal.

Speaker A

Set a goal.

Speaker A

I'm going to honor my wife in all areas.

Speaker A

I want to give her a red carpet treatment.

Speaker A

I want to treat her like royalty, the best I can.

Speaker A

Because you know what?

Speaker A

She's God's daughter.

Speaker A

I don't want my prayers hindered.

Speaker A

And I want to love her and I want to serve her.

Speaker B

That's good.

Speaker B

How about a couple of honeydews?

Speaker B

Sure.

Speaker A

All right, Go easy on us.

Speaker B

Okay.

Speaker B

Now, one.

Speaker B

One thing we'd like to see you do.

Speaker B

Men, in what way?

Speaker B

Ask yourself this question.

Speaker B

In what way?

Speaker B

By your actions, like Greg just talked about, can you say that you are honoring your wife?

Speaker B

So think about that.

Speaker B

Just give that.

Speaker B

That's like food for thought.

Speaker A

Yeah, you can just find one, even just.

Speaker B

Yeah, think about that.

Speaker B

Another.

Speaker B

Number two, with your words, how are you encouraging your wife?

Speaker B

That's a good one.

Speaker B

So pause and think about that.

Speaker B

Number three, and this is the last on the homework type stuff.

Speaker B

Are there any areas where you are keeping your wife in a box?

Speaker B

Oh, that's a biggie.

Speaker B

That might bring some revelation into the marriage.

Speaker B

So what's number four, dear?

Speaker A

Let's get out of the box.

Speaker A

All right.

Speaker A

Ten second kiss, guys or wives?

Speaker A

Bring your spouse over, guys.

Speaker A

If it's your wife, say, hey, I want to honor you with a delicious 10 second kiss.

Speaker A

Because you're my bride and you're my prime ribbon.

Speaker A

You're my queen.

Speaker A

So pull her on over, give her a good kiss, say hey, Siri, set my timer for 10 seconds and lay one on her.

Speaker A

All right?

Speaker A

You can honor her by going a few seconds over, okay?

Speaker B

And who knows, it might take it even further.

Speaker A

That's right.

Speaker B

Yep, why not?

Speaker B

Hope you got inspired by today's message and we're going to see you next week.

Speaker B

And until then, remember this.

Speaker B

You can be married and love it on purpose.

Speaker A

Thank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the Married and Love it podcast.

Speaker A

Be sure to be a part of the ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and love it.

Speaker A

Also, subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about Married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have.

Speaker A

And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be Married and Lovett on purpose.