EP 43. Ten Steps to Treasuring Your Wife PT 4;
Show By Your Actions; Commit to Her Personal Growth and Desires And Health
Take Aways
- Investing time in your marriage through resources like our podcast can significantly enhance your relationship.
- The act of honoring your wife is demonstrated through meaningful actions that reflect her value and importance in your life.
- Understanding your wife's needs and desires is essential for fostering a nurturing and supportive environment in the marriage.
- Creating an atmosphere of growth and encouragement for your wife can lead to a more fulfilling partnership for both of you.
- Men should prioritize their wives' personal growth and health by actively engaging in their aspirations and supporting their efforts.
- Honoring your wife is a continuous commitment that requires consistent effort and thoughtful gestures to deepen your bond.
Links referenced in this episode:
Welcome to the Married and Love it podcast.
Speaker AWe are Greg and Linda Smith, your host from Raleigh, North Carolina.
Speaker AIt's great that you are taking time to invest into your marriage by listening to our weekly podcast.
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Speaker BWell, you can even call it continuing education.
Speaker AWe will be covering everything that has to do with your marriage, including hot topics like sex, communication, love and much, much more.
Speaker AOur teachings are based on Christian principles plus over 47 years of marriage and ministry experience.
Speaker BWe want to help you make your marriage great by teaching you how to be married and love it.
Speaker AIt is an honor and privilege to have you join us.
Speaker BHey, thanks for joining.
Speaker BWe are here to give you your weekly dose of Married and love it and that's going to help strengthen your marriage.
Speaker BSo today we're going to be talking about 10 steps to choosing your wife.
Speaker BIt's a continuation of a series.
Speaker BThis will be part four starts, I think with episode 40.
Speaker BIs that right?
Speaker AThat's the introduction.
Speaker AAnd then part one of the 10 steps starts on episode 41.
Speaker ASo we have a total of 10 steps.
Speaker AAnd today we're going to hit a couple of more.
Speaker AAnd as we do that, we're going to start off with just a little review of what we've covered as far as the topics.
Speaker AFirst of all, I just want to say in Proverbs 18:22, it says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing.
Speaker AOr in the new living translation, it says, he who finds a wife finds a treasure.
Speaker AAnd we all know what a treasure is, but it is a treasure.
Speaker AA treasure is something that has value and is cherished.
Speaker AAnd men in this particular way we're looking at this.
Speaker AIt's by our actions as a husband, by our actions that we do the things that we do and the words that we say, we reveal what or who is the number one treasure in our life.
Speaker AAnd in other words too, do our words that we speak get backed up by our actions.
Speaker AAnd I got a quick example.
Speaker AI'm going to hit it.
Speaker AA highlights of one I used back in episode 40 was when we were first married for two years, this is back in the 70s, long time ago, I was on a church softball team.
Speaker AWe had a game that night and I was committed to that team.
Speaker AAnd we played and I was involved in a triple play.
Speaker AYes, we got three people out in one play.
Speaker AMy highlight reel of sports activities.
Speaker AWell, after that game, I went home.
Speaker AI was so excited, still have my uniform on, Ran into the house and say, hey, dear, guess what?
Speaker AYour hero's home.
Speaker AI didn't say hero, but that's what I felt like.
Speaker AI'm home.
Speaker BAnd I.
Speaker AAnd I had a triple play in the game tonight.
Speaker AI was excited, ecstatic.
Speaker AAnd she goes, I said, I got a triple play.
Speaker AShe goes, well, see, what happened is earlier that day, Linda had set an appointment and got four, not one, not two, not three, but four wisdom teeth pulled that day.
Speaker ASo she was in pain.
Speaker AThey had gauze all in her mouth, probably taking pain medicine and not feeling good.
Speaker AAnd her hero was committed to a softball team that I had to be there.
Speaker AAnd so what message did I send?
Speaker AWhat message did my actions center that night?
Speaker AYou know what it was?
Speaker ASoftball was more important than her health at that moment.
Speaker ANow, she may have said earlier in the day, oh, go to the softball game.
Speaker AOr when I came home, I said, is that okay if I still go to the game?
Speaker AWhich was d to ask.
Speaker AAnd she may go, it's okay.
Speaker AWell, ding dong.
Speaker AI'd only been married for two years, so I didn't know she said this.
Speaker AIt meant the opposite.
Speaker ASo I hadn't learned that lesson yet.
Speaker BTook a bit.
Speaker ASo again, our actions reveal what is most important in our life.
Speaker AMaybe just at that one time.
Speaker ABut we got, we don't want to set a pattern that.
Speaker ASo husbands, whatever or whoever that you spend your most time on, think about the most is going to reveal what's in your heart and what you're placing the highest value in.
Speaker AIt needs to be.
Speaker AAnd God says it should be your wife.
Speaker ASo we're going to continue to talk about that.
Speaker AWe've, We've talked about 10 steps or six steps so far.
Speaker AI'm going to review those real quick.
Speaker AYou honor her by loving your wife.
Speaker AAnd we go into detail on that in one of the other episodes.
Speaker ADevelop to honor your wife.
Speaker AYou develop a passion to meet her, needs to honor her, you understand her, to honor her, you praise her and be her number one fan.
Speaker ATo honor her, you're expressing, expressing, excuse me, affection towards your wife.
Speaker AAnd then you honor her by keeping yourself fit in your spirit, your soul and your body.
Speaker AAnd tonight we're going to get on to number seven.
Speaker ABut before we do that, we've got a couple announcements for you.
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Speaker ASo sign up for the newsletter.
Speaker AAnd number two, if you live in the Raleigh area this Friday night, September 12, the the church has this week been starting their little the little they call them little groups or home groups.
Speaker AWe call them meetups.
Speaker AAnd we're doing one for seven weeks every other week on marriage, how to be married and love it.
Speaker AMaking marriage great.
Speaker AAnd if you'd like to come be part of a group and you're in the Raleigh area, you don't have to go to our church, but you can come or you can come.
Speaker AAnd that's Living Word Family Church in North Raleigh Lake Wake Forest area.
Speaker AAnd go down to the bottom and send us an email.
Speaker AWe'll give you all the details for that.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker BAlso, be sure to tell your friends and family about our podcast.
Speaker BEverybody knows somebody, so let them know and let us do the dirty work for you.
Speaker BThere might be questions that they have, maybe some of your children or even your great grandchildren.
Speaker BAnd so share the podcast.
Speaker BOkay, so let's go into the message.
Speaker BWe're moving on with number seven.
Speaker BBut before I say that, I just want to mention that there's a lot of women that work outside of the home today because they're looking for the honor, the fulfillment and significance that they're not getting at home from their husbands.
Speaker BSo they're going outside of the home and that should not be we should be seeing that they are getting the things fulfillment.
Speaker BThey're, they're feeling honored.
Speaker BThey feel like they're valued and their husbands are the ones that's telling them about it.
Speaker AYeah, that's our job, husbands, that our wives get that significance and fulfillment and honor from us.
Speaker ASo if they do go to work, it's maybe to make a paycheck and they're pursuing something that they love to do or want to do and are supporting the family.
Speaker AAnd maybe they got a career or a passion.
Speaker ABut that significance needs to be coming from us.
Speaker ANow we can support them and say, hey, you're doing a great job there, but they need to feel that from us so somebody else doesn't fill that void in the wrong way.
Speaker BThat's right.
Speaker BOkay, number seven, show her honor by your actions first Peter 3:7 it talks about granting her honor so that your prayers may not be hindered or cut off and this is God talking to the men.
Speaker AThat's pretty powerful when he says, if you don't understand your wife and you're not granting her honor, it can hinder your prayers.
Speaker AThat's serious business.
Speaker BThat.
Speaker BThat's heavy.
Speaker BYeah, that's heavy duty and all.
Speaker BYou know what?
Speaker BGod wants his daughters to be taken care of.
Speaker BAnd women, we are daughters of the king.
Speaker BWe got to get that mentality.
Speaker BWe're daughters of the king, but also our husbands need to get that mentality, and they should be taken care of.
Speaker BAnd some of the things we'll be mentioning, it may be simple stuff and just real practical stuff, but it's a part of taking care of the king's daughter.
Speaker BOkay, so one of the meanings of honoring your wife is ensuring that you recognize her presence and worth in the marriage.
Speaker BIn other words, she's not just someone to do the cooking, do the cleaning, do the laundry.
Speaker BShe has a presence in the home, and she is worth.
Speaker BShe has value and worth in that marriage.
Speaker BShe is your prime rib.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BShe's been taken out of the side of the man's rib.
Speaker BShe is the prime rib of that marriage.
Speaker BAnd so she is worthy of being honored because of that.
Speaker BAnother definition is of honor is to hold in high regard.
Speaker BGreat respect is given, fame is given, distinction to put on a pedestal.
Speaker BRed carpet treatment.
Speaker BSo these are some of the things to be thinking about.
Speaker BAnd I think there's some practical applications you had.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker AAnd really, this is something that is practical.
Speaker AIt's not woo woo or real spiritual or whatever.
Speaker AIt's just good practical action steps, because the Bible's practical.
Speaker ASo here we go.
Speaker AWe're going to go over quite a few of these.
Speaker AJust name them off real quick.
Speaker AThis is probably the most important one, man.
Speaker ASo pull up, lean into this, pay attention, Put the toilet seat down.
Speaker BYes.
Speaker AThat's honoring your wife.
Speaker BAmen.
Speaker ADon't have it where she lands on that cold, dirty rim and you hear a hollerer scream, all right, open her car door.
Speaker AWe talked about this in one of the other episodes in honoring your wife, but open the car door for her.
Speaker AThat's a sign of honor.
Speaker BAnd women, let your man open the door for you.
Speaker BYes, Let him do that.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnd ladies, if your man doesn't open the car door, My mom did this to my dad one time where he got out of the car and he just took off walking to the door, and he walked down the road of ways, and my mom just stayed in the car.
Speaker AAnd he got down there a Few.
Speaker BFeet or wherever they were.
Speaker AYeah, he just turned around and looked and she was still sitting in the car.
Speaker BShe was waiting.
Speaker AShe had the walk back.
Speaker AI think he got the picture of that.
Speaker BBut open the car.
Speaker BThat's just a little thing, but it says a lot.
Speaker APull the chair out or pull, help her push the chair.
Speaker AAnd maybe you're at a restaurant or something, you know, stand up when she comes into a room.
Speaker AI know a lot of guys don't do this.
Speaker AWe don't see that happen that often.
Speaker ABut that's, that's the time sometimes when, you know, it doesn't mean every time she gets up and goes into the, out of the living room and comes back not standing up, but if you're in a meeting somewhere or at a church event or a restaurant, restaurant, and she comes back to stand up and, and grant her that honor and then wait on her.
Speaker AWell, we know we have to wait on our wives a lot of times for something, but that's not what we're talking about.
Speaker AWait as in serving.
Speaker AWait on her and honor her by helping her with things that she needs.
Speaker AIf she needs a refill, you're out to eat at the restaurant and she needs a refill.
Speaker AYou be the one to kind of wave at the waitress or you get up and go get it if it's a self serve.
Speaker ABut wait on her around the house in different places.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker BSome other things are to listen to her thoughts, listen to what she is saying, listen to her ideas, her insights, her desires, and then you know what, validate them.
Speaker BThat's important to her that you would take the time.
Speaker BSo when you're doing that, the another thing to honor her is to exercise patience because women kind of want to go through some details and it's going to take patience, men to let her just.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AWhen you're listening to her thoughts and talking.
Speaker AYes.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BOkay, so.
Speaker AAnd then also on that, listening.
Speaker AGuys, turn the TV off, DVR the program, pause it, put your phone down and look at your spouse.
Speaker ALook around her eyes and listen to her honor her honor her time and her wanting to share her heart with you.
Speaker AAnd again, exercise patience in many different areas.
Speaker BAll right, so next we would.
Speaker BWhat would you say, dear?
Speaker AListen to our ideas.
Speaker AYeah, her insights and desires.
Speaker AValidate them.
Speaker BValidate them.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker APut her desires and needs first before yours.
Speaker AGive her a night off.
Speaker AYou know, if you've got young kids, or maybe you do or don't, but maybe she works and has young kids.
Speaker AWhatever the scenarios, give her a night off sometime.
Speaker AWhere she can just take a hot bath or maybe she wants to run up to the store for a minute and just look around, get some retail therapy.
Speaker AGive her a night off and say, hey, I'll take care of the home front.
Speaker ANow the other part of that is give her a night off from you.
Speaker AOh, where she doesn't even have to think about you.
Speaker AJust.
Speaker BYeah, that's her.
Speaker BWhat a novel idea.
Speaker AAnd do do special things that express you care and you're concerned about her.
Speaker AThink ahead.
Speaker ABut maybe her car needs to be washed.
Speaker AMaybe she needs some gas.
Speaker AMaybe like Linda's car gets pine needles in the windshield because she have to.
Speaker AWe park under a pine tree.
Speaker AAnd when she gets out out to go drive, she can't do her windshield wipers because there's pine needles all in it.
Speaker ASo I get out and clean those every morning.
Speaker AOr if I know she's going off, think of little things that she likes or needs to have done and do those things that show you're thinking of her and honor that way.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker BAnother idea would be to give her gifts.
Speaker BThe, the, it doesn't have to be elaborate gifts or anything like that.
Speaker BJust, you know, box of Oreo cookies.
Speaker BCash is good gift.
Speaker BYeah, that's right.
Speaker BMaybe something she's been admiring and you know it.
Speaker BThen surprise her with it and get may pair earrings or something of that sort.
Speaker BHelp with the chores, you know, and you know, help without being told that that's an idea.
Speaker ASay it again.
Speaker BHelp without being told.
Speaker BThink ahead, like Greg says.
Speaker BHey, and also learn her love languages.
Speaker BIf you take the time to understand and learn her love languages, you're going to find that that is a source of honoring your wife.
Speaker AAnd that can save you money, guys.
Speaker ABecause if your wife love language is not receiving gifts, everybody wants gifts now and then, so that's a given.
Speaker ABut if she's not into getting gifts and you're not knowing her love languages and you're spending money you don't need to be spending.
Speaker BThat's so true.
Speaker BSo that's so true.
Speaker ASave money.
Speaker BAll right, how about some special treatments?
Speaker BSend her off for a spa day, a massage, get her nails done, get her hair done, whatever.
Speaker BIt may be something that you just are saying, you know what this is?
Speaker BRed carpet treatment day.
Speaker AYes.
Speaker BJust for you.
Speaker AYeah, give her the royal treatment.
Speaker AThat's the bottom line overall, all of this stuff, just like you see when dignitaries come into the country and meet with the president or some type of a star comes in or some important person, people stand back or they, they Put the red carpet out or they treat them good.
Speaker AYou know, a lot of times when people visit people, they'll bring them flowers or a bottle of wine or do something.
Speaker AThey're honoring them.
Speaker ASo give your wife, mentality wise, the red carpet treatment, Give her the royal treatment.
Speaker BThat's good.
Speaker AAnd men, the more you make honoring her a lifestyle, the less she's gonna wonder what your motives are.
Speaker ABecause how many times do we hear the story where the man comes home, he's got up some flowers and her or everybody that sees them buying the flower says, what'd you do wrong?
Speaker BWhat do you want?
Speaker AWell, if you make, if you do this as a lifestyle, that's not going to happen.
Speaker ANo, that's right, because you're going to be spoiling her.
Speaker BWhat does that mean as a verb?
Speaker BWhat does honoring verb.
Speaker AAs a, a, as a.
Speaker AHonoring as a verb means fulfilling an obligation or keeping an agreement.
Speaker BLike our wedding vows, right?
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AWhen you made your wedding vows, you stood there and said your vows.
Speaker ANo matter.
Speaker AMaybe you made them up or used the standard ones.
Speaker AYou commit it to certain things in your relationship.
Speaker ASo that means if you're going to honor her, you're going to fulfill, you have an obligation to fulfill and keep the agreements that you made in your vows.
Speaker AAnd this ties into honoring her means keeping your word day in and day out.
Speaker ACan she count on it?
Speaker AAnd trust your word?
Speaker ADo your words mean anything to her?
Speaker ASee, we're all going to goof up sometimes or over commit.
Speaker AMaybe we don't follow through, but overall, do your words mean anything?
Speaker AAre you continually not fulfilling what you're saying?
Speaker ACan she bank on your words?
Speaker ADo you keep your words to your buddies or your boss more than you do to her?
Speaker AAre you breaking commitments or forgetting things?
Speaker ADo you do that with your boss?
Speaker AWhat would happen, right?
Speaker AYou'd lose your job.
Speaker BThat's true.
Speaker BAnd you know what, men just being able to trust your word, that is a safe place for us women.
Speaker BThat's like a security to her.
Speaker BSo you want to provide for her a place of security and are we ready to move on to the next one?
Speaker AThat's it there.
Speaker BHow about this?
Speaker BCommit.
Speaker BThis is number eight.
Speaker BCommit to her personal growth and her desires and her health.
Speaker ALet me just say something on that.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AA lot of times, guys, we get so wrapped up in us, what we want to do, what we're trying to accomplish at work, what we're trying to do with the call of God on our life or whatever, our hobbies, our golf game, our.
Speaker AOur score Our handicap, the football teams, we forget to think about what our wife needs, what she's wanting to grow in and develop in.
Speaker BYeah, we, we need encouragement when there's something in our life that we want to grow in.
Speaker BAnd you know what, find out what does she want and what are some of the needs that she has and, and some of the desires also, you know, when you encourage her in that you create an atmosphere of growth.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker BFor her.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASo ask her about what some of her growth areas are.
Speaker AWhat does she desire, what type of hobby does she have, what, what's her career things, what about how she feels about God using her hobby she might want to do.
Speaker AAnd also what are her health goals and such.
Speaker AAnd then when you ask her about that, begin to dream with her.
Speaker ASay, hey, what if you did do this?
Speaker AYou know what?
Speaker ALinda's, years ago, yeah, this is quite a few years ago, she was, she's, she's always been health minded and learning about vitamins and supplements, how they work, health and nutrition.
Speaker AAnd she found out that she could go to this one class, maybe take three or four months from a health nutritionist and get certified as a nutritionalist.
Speaker ASo we, she told me about it and I said, you know what, that would be great because I know that's something you're excited.
Speaker ALet's see what how much it costs.
Speaker AGet that taken care of.
Speaker AWhat's the time commitment?
Speaker AOkay, it's going to be this.
Speaker AWell, I'll tell you what, it's on Saturdays, I'll get your lunch prepared, get you all set to go.
Speaker ASo all you got to do is load up in the car and go.
Speaker AWhen she would come home, I'd give her time to study and do all that.
Speaker AAnd I was encouraging, say, man, you're doing good at this.
Speaker AAnd then finally she got her certificate.
Speaker AI celebrated that and encouraged her in that and, and if there was going to be ways to help people, I was saying, you know what, you can do that.
Speaker AAnd then she also, in years before that, had a desire to teach aerobics.
Speaker AAnd I said, that is awesome.
Speaker AI don't mind seeing you in one of those aerobic outfits.
Speaker BThe Jane Fonda day.
Speaker ABut she ended up, back then I supported her in learning to get certified, ACE certified, whatever they call it, to be an aerobic instructor.
Speaker AAnd then I, even when we were doing Families of Destiny, that was our original marriage ministry, we actually had rented a little building there in Fort Worth to hold our own classes.
Speaker AAnd I said, hey, why don't you do aerobics class?
Speaker AIn the class, we got the space.
Speaker ASo she started doing her own classes.
Speaker ASee, I supported her in her dream, and that's what God's calling us to do.
Speaker AMen to find out what our wives are excited about, what they're wanting to learn about, what they're putting their time into, and they want somebody to be there, to be their.
Speaker ATheir fan, to say, hey, you can do this.
Speaker AWhat can I do to help you do this?
Speaker AAllow her to be herself.
Speaker AAnd this goes beyond the personality styles.
Speaker AYou know, Linda is a sanguine, which is all out there, excited life of the party.
Speaker AI wasn't.
Speaker AI was the opposite of that, and I put her in a box.
Speaker ABut see, we can do this.
Speaker AThat the same way when our wife has gifts and talents and things she wants to do, we can say, no, you don't need to do that.
Speaker AYou don't need to be a health instructor.
Speaker AYou don't need to teach a class.
Speaker AYou don't need da, da, da, da.
Speaker AOr you don't know how to garden.
Speaker AIt'll never work.
Speaker ABut God's saying, you know what?
Speaker AI've given you a treasure.
Speaker AShe's got talents in her.
Speaker AI want you to help her develop those talents and be a blessing in different areas.
Speaker ASo don't put my daughter in a box.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BEncourage her to develop those gifts and talents and encourage her to get those creative feelings, you know, flowing.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BYou know, some of the different hobbies that your wife might have, and you may not even realize it, is they love to garden.
Speaker BOr maybe they would love to knit or crochet or quilt, or maybe they want to do painting.
Speaker BI mean, there's so much out there that we women will put it aside because we think we're not worth that.
Speaker BI mean, we need to be focusing on other things in the home.
Speaker BBut men, you know what?
Speaker BGo ahead and encourage your woman to flourish in these areas.
Speaker BTalk to her about it.
Speaker BA fulfilled, flourishing wife can bring life to a marriage and add a bunch of spice.
Speaker BRight, dear?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker ALinda, years ago, what?
Speaker AI guess it was a few years ago.
Speaker AIt was right before.
Speaker ABefore some surgeries.
Speaker ABut she said, you know, I've always wanted to play the piano.
Speaker BOh, yeah.
Speaker AAnd I go, oh, okay.
Speaker AAnd then she would say, yeah, I want to learn.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker AAnd so finally I said, all right.
Speaker AI said, first I said, we can't afford a piano.
Speaker AProbably gave her some excuses.
Speaker AAnd then, you know what?
Speaker AI said, let's get you a piano.
Speaker ASo we got it.
Speaker BWe'll get out a keyboard.
Speaker AKeyboard.
Speaker AOkay.
Speaker BKeyboard.
Speaker AYes.
Speaker AThere is a difference.
Speaker BWe got a keyboard.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo we found a keyboard, we made room for it, and then God provided somebody to come in and give her lessons.
Speaker AAnd she did good at it.
Speaker BI thoroughly encourage her.
Speaker ASo every so often I'd say, are you going?
Speaker AAre you practicing?
Speaker AHow's it coming?
Speaker AAnd she would play Chopsticks.
Speaker BThat's right.
Speaker ABut no, she learned some other things.
Speaker BCouple other songs.
Speaker ABut I would encourage her in that.
Speaker AAnd that's like a hobby she had.
Speaker AAll right.
Speaker BHuh.
Speaker BSo you know what I think about a couple that we know at our church?
Speaker BAnd her husband encourages her.
Speaker BShe's great at antiquing and going out and doing and junking is what we call it, doing discount shopping.
Speaker BShe loves all that.
Speaker BAnd she's good at it.
Speaker BAnd they.
Speaker BThey buy shacks, houses, and they gut them and they start all over.
Speaker BAnd.
Speaker BAnd the husband, he is fantastic at doing all the work, but she's a fantastic at decorating and finding stuff.
Speaker BAnd so they just work together as a team.
Speaker BThat just is great.
Speaker BBut he encourages it, and she encourages him.
Speaker BBut, you know, it's kind of stuff like that that we're talking about.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ABecause sometimes your.
Speaker AHer gift may gel with some type of gift you have, and therefore you're able to do things together.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AYou know, and I'm just going to say, for me and Linda, doing the ministry stuff that we've done ever since we got married, God has really called us together.
Speaker ABut we both have strengths, even doing ministry stuff.
Speaker ABut we have fun getting together and doing it.
Speaker ASure, we get tested at times, but it's something that you can do together.
Speaker ASo you never know when you start supporting your wife and encouraging in her areas, she may excel in that, but you never know.
Speaker AYou may get drawn into it.
Speaker AIt may complement something you're doing and you guys are doing it together, and that's even more fun.
Speaker AAnd that the more you're together doing things, the more you're going to be together in other areas because you're becoming one in so many different ways.
Speaker BThat's right.
Speaker ANow, another important thing here we mentioned is supporting your wife and her health.
Speaker ASo you need to find out what her physical goals are, her health, does she have health challenges?
Speaker AIf she got some things she's wanting to accomplish, and then you need to get in the corner with her and say, what can we do to help you reach those goals?
Speaker AHow can you get healthy?
Speaker AAre you needing to go on a dieter?
Speaker AWell, you don't necessarily ask your wife if she's needing to go on the diet.
Speaker ABut the point is, if she's doing a diet, you courage her in that.
Speaker AThere's been different times.
Speaker AThe Linda and I have been on diets together or not together or whatever, and working on our health, and we encourage each other and that we try not to bring them down.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BTell her that you'll take her for a walk.
Speaker BY' all can go together for a walk and talk, so to speak.
Speaker BIf you can get away from the kids or if you don't have any children at home, you know, go to the gym together.
Speaker BDude, you know, go to the gym, then go out to eat.
Speaker ABut, yeah, do all that.
Speaker AProvide that.
Speaker AProvide those to help her reach her physical goals.
Speaker ANow with her back surgery, she can't.
Speaker AIt's been hard for her to do certain things.
Speaker AAnd I think on one of the last, last podcast, we talked about some of this.
Speaker ABut you know what?
Speaker AI've done what I can to get equipment home in the home because she doesn't have the physical capabilities to do a lot of stuff in the gym.
Speaker AAnd we've made an investment for her to have the right tools here so she can exercise at the house.
Speaker ASo support your spouse in any way possible regarding their health.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker BFind out what those resources might be.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BYou know, talk, talk, talk, talk together about it.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BFind out what tools she needs.
Speaker BYou know, come up with a game plan.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BThat kind of thing.
Speaker BWhat kind of school and is she interested in attending.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AOr how much time does she need?
Speaker AShe need help if, if your wife's, say, going to take a class or maybe she's going to be teaching a class.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker AWell, that's going to take some time.
Speaker AHow can you help her with her time to be able to accomplish that?
Speaker BThat's true.
Speaker BSo be a leader for her.
Speaker BAnd how do you do this, men?
Speaker BWell, you can set an example for her on how you actually live your life and how you pursue your life, you know, like with a good attitude or what are your work ethics.
Speaker BWhat kind of determination do you have?
Speaker BBut be a leader.
Speaker BBe an example for her on all that.
Speaker ASet the pace.
Speaker BThat's it.
Speaker ASet the pace for.
Speaker AShe needs somebody to help set the pace.
Speaker ABecause I know some of y' all may have wives that are go getters and you're trying to keep up with her, but you set the pace not only with your.
Speaker AYour pace of stuff, but your attitude and your commitment to her.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker ANext part is be our number one fan, which we've talked about different ways, but create an atmosphere with your words.
Speaker AAnd that is so powerful.
Speaker AYour actions are good, but with your words.
Speaker AThe Bible says in Proverbs 18:21, life and death are in the power of the tongue.
Speaker ASo as her leader and you somebody supporting her, you need to be planting seeds of greatness in her with your words.
Speaker AIn other words, you need to draw those out, the seeds that are in her to do what she's wanting to do.
Speaker ABy your words.
Speaker AYou want to have speak words that show honor, that build her self esteem.
Speaker AYou know, everybody really needs to feel good and wants to feel good about themselves.
Speaker AYou want to sow value into your wife.
Speaker AYou want to say things that are going to encourage her to grow.
Speaker AYou don't want to be a negative Norman.
Speaker AMy first name is Norman, so I don't get off on that one.
Speaker AYou don't want to be a negative Norman.
Speaker AYou want to be positive.
Speaker AYou want to be somebody that's causing a good atmosphere to grow in.
Speaker ALet's say your wife is liking, she's likes reading the Bible.
Speaker AShe says, I want to do a Bible study.
Speaker ASay, you know what, I want a little a meet up for Christian ladies.
Speaker AFirst of all, you don't want to go.
Speaker ANo, you can't do that.
Speaker AYou know, you don't like to speak in front of people.
Speaker AYou're liable to get nervous.
Speaker ANo, you need to sit there and say, you know what, you can do this, let's sign you up and you can go to get training and you can do this.
Speaker ASo then the night comes, the first meetup night and she's going off to lead the meet up or maybe she's having at the house and you're going to go out and play, play pickleball or something.
Speaker AAnd you don't, don't walk out the door going, well, have fun tonight.
Speaker ABut I sure hope you don't put those people, those ladies to sleep tonight when you're talking.
Speaker AThat would just deflate her and put this negative cloud.
Speaker AThat atmosphere is not good.
Speaker AWhat you should say is, I know that the ladies in your group are going to be encouraged and motivated by the words.
Speaker AYou're going to speak to them as you guys get in the Bible.
Speaker AYou're going to be awesome.
Speaker AI can't wait to hear about the response.
Speaker ASee the difference?
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AThat life and death is in the power of the tongue.
Speaker BThat's true.
Speaker BAnd you know what?
Speaker BAlso to when she comes home, ask her about how it went.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BTake an interest in finding out how did it all go.
Speaker BYou know, ask her how the women were, how did prayer Go take interest.
Speaker BThat's the whole thing.
Speaker BAnd now another area, men, that we need to be encouraged in is to develop relationship with other women for her.
Speaker BNot right?
Speaker BThat's right.
Speaker BLet's clarify that.
Speaker BWe need girlfriends.
Speaker BWe need a girls night out and we should be encouraged to have girlfriends.
Speaker BOkay, so think about that, men, because.
Speaker ASometimes you need to talk lady stuff.
Speaker AYeah, that's ladies, not just us men.
Speaker BThat's right.
Speaker BAnd another area is to respect her domain.
Speaker AThis is big, right?
Speaker BDomain.
Speaker BHer home, that's her domain.
Speaker BProverbs 31 says she looks well to the ways of her household.
Speaker BSo that would be like in decorating or maybe she's a cook.
Speaker BAnd so she needs certain kitchen tools to be able to cook in certain ways.
Speaker BWhat are, what are her household needs?
Speaker BYou know?
Speaker BYeah, the pictures that she wants to put up on the wall, you know, let her, let her have her desire.
Speaker BLet her, you know, men, you guys have your garage set up with your tools, right?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker BCertain drills, shovels, screwdrivers, stuff, right?
Speaker ASpecial specialty tools, specialty tools.
Speaker BWell, the women should have that as well.
Speaker BShe needs to have household stuff, her kitchen tools, her kitchen tools, the right.
Speaker AThings to shred things.
Speaker AAnd it's just as important.
Speaker BWell, now some men, that they do the cooking in the home and that's not normal really.
Speaker BI mean, but so we're just kind of talking in general.
Speaker BThe women, the kitchen is her domain.
Speaker BSo think about that.
Speaker BHonor her with her to, you know, allow her to get the things, a certain pan or a certain spatula, whatever it might be.
Speaker AAnd one thing I've learned, guys, is she may want something in that kitchen and you're going, well, you don't really need that.
Speaker AOr here, there's this thing costs $10 here, or there's one for 15 or $20.
Speaker AYou say, well, just get the cheap one.
Speaker AWell, what happens when you try to do buy cheap tools?
Speaker ASometimes they break, they don't perform and such.
Speaker AWell, you need to listen to your wife and what she needs on that.
Speaker AYou need to respect her expertise in the kitchen.
Speaker AI know almost all of our marriage, Linda's been in charge of the kitchen.
Speaker ABut since she's had all these surgeries these last few years, I've been in the kitchen and I've, I've got chicken breasts down, oil boiled, boiled eggs down, fried eggs and reheating food down.
Speaker ABut you know what I've learned?
Speaker AThere's certain tools, you know how to cook, but there's certain tools that I like.
Speaker AAnd my limited get stuff that I Do.
Speaker ABut I want tools that work.
Speaker ALike, I don't want a certain type of spatula.
Speaker AWell, we need to respect and honor what your wife wants in her kitchen and in her house.
Speaker BWell, once you got in there, you realized how it is important to use certain tools and you started getting picky about what you wanted to work with or not, right?
Speaker AYes.
Speaker BSo, I mean, and that's good.
Speaker AEven decorating, like Linda mentioned while ago.
Speaker BRight.
Speaker BSo honor your woman that way.
Speaker BMen honor her with personal things like getting her hair done, her nails, or, you know, the things that are special to her.
Speaker ALike that help her be a lady, help her be a princess.
Speaker AHelp her walk into the the building looking good and happy with her hair or her clothes.
Speaker ABecause sometimes guys, we don't care about that that much.
Speaker AI mean, we all want to look good, but it.
Speaker AThere's something about ladies and how they want to be and present themselves.
Speaker AHelp her the best you're able to.
Speaker ASo in closing, guys, we talked about action words, and we talk about committing to helping your spouse be the best she can be in her life, in other words, and giving her the royal treatment.
Speaker ASo set that as a goal.
Speaker ASet a goal.
Speaker AI'm going to honor my wife in all areas.
Speaker AI want to give her a red carpet treatment.
Speaker AI want to treat her like royalty, the best I can.
Speaker ABecause you know what?
Speaker AShe's God's daughter.
Speaker AI don't want my prayers hindered.
Speaker AAnd I want to love her and I want to serve her.
Speaker BThat's good.
Speaker BHow about a couple of honeydews?
Speaker BSure.
Speaker AAll right, Go easy on us.
Speaker BOkay.
Speaker BNow, one.
Speaker BOne thing we'd like to see you do.
Speaker BMen, in what way?
Speaker BAsk yourself this question.
Speaker BIn what way?
Speaker BBy your actions, like Greg just talked about, can you say that you are honoring your wife?
Speaker BSo think about that.
Speaker BJust give that.
Speaker BThat's like food for thought.
Speaker AYeah, you can just find one, even just.
Speaker BYeah, think about that.
Speaker BAnother.
Speaker BNumber two, with your words, how are you encouraging your wife?
Speaker BThat's a good one.
Speaker BSo pause and think about that.
Speaker BNumber three, and this is the last on the homework type stuff.
Speaker BAre there any areas where you are keeping your wife in a box?
Speaker BOh, that's a biggie.
Speaker BThat might bring some revelation into the marriage.
Speaker BSo what's number four, dear?
Speaker ALet's get out of the box.
Speaker AAll right.
Speaker ATen second kiss, guys or wives?
Speaker ABring your spouse over, guys.
Speaker AIf it's your wife, say, hey, I want to honor you with a delicious 10 second kiss.
Speaker ABecause you're my bride and you're my prime ribbon.
Speaker AYou're my queen.
Speaker ASo pull her on over, give her a good kiss, say hey, Siri, set my timer for 10 seconds and lay one on her.
Speaker AAll right?
Speaker AYou can honor her by going a few seconds over, okay?
Speaker BAnd who knows, it might take it even further.
Speaker AThat's right.
Speaker BYep, why not?
Speaker BHope you got inspired by today's message and we're going to see you next week.
Speaker BAnd until then, remember this.
Speaker BYou can be married and love it on purpose.
Speaker AThank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the Married and Love it podcast.
Speaker ABe sure to be a part of the ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and love it.
Speaker AAlso, subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about Married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have.
Speaker AAnd remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be Married and Lovett on purpose.