EP 40. Your Wife-Your Treasure PT 1

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Hey, thanks for joining us Today, your weekly dose of Married and Love It.

And today we are going to be starting a new series regarding husbands treasuring their wives.

Oh, this is going to be a good one.

Yeah.

Because this is a topic I think is really needed for us to help us stay focused on our spouses, men.

And also it can be a challenge for the women to do the same thing for us.

But this one, this next two or three episodes that we're doing, ladies, this is in honor of us because God's blessed you to be our wives and we're going to learn as men how we can treasure you and be a blessing to you.

But before we get into that, we've got a couple of things we just want to share with you about what you can do.

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That would be great thing to spread on mom dad?

Yeah.

And let us do the dirty work of telling them what they need to be doing.

That's it right there.

Okay, let's get on topic.

Matthew 6:21 says, for where your treasure is.

And I have in parentheses wife there your heart will be also.

Now, what is the definition of treasure?

Something that is very much valued and heart is a center of affection, desires and love.

You know, I'm going to jump in here real quick.

I can think of something that's very much treasured and valued.

I remember years and years and years and decades ago, baseball cards were something that people collected.

There were serious baseball cards.

I remember we would play with them in junior high school, throw them against the wall in a game and put them in our spokes and let them go click, click, click, click, click.

So it sounded like we're a motorcycle or something.

But there's cards, and I wish I had them today that are worth hundreds of dollars and thousands of dollars.

But a card collector back in those days, and maybe still now, they would get a card, pull it out, make sure the corners aren't getting bent.

They, the pictures look good, they're not scratched.

You don't hardly touch them.

And they would put them in a plastic, hard plastic cover or a Pl to protect that baseball card.

It had all the stats and a picture of about a star baseball player.

But what it was showing is that card was very valuable.

It was a treasure, at least to that guy it was.

But other people would come in and maybe look at it and go, oh, I wish I had that card.

You know how much money that is?

They treasured it.

And that is what we're going to be talking about.

How men are we treating our wives in that same type of atmosphere and attitude?

And so here's a question for the men.

Who or what is the treasure of your heart?

Do you have like a soft story?

I got a. I got a softball story.

You told this to me and here.

Share it with everybody out there.

Yeah, we're.

This is going to be a good example of this.

Linda and I had been married, excuse me, about probably two years, maybe three years, and I was playing on our Church softball team.

Now, our church team, this is from.

In our winter park, Florida, had five softball teams.

I was on team number five that basically had all the leftovers from the other teams.

And we just went out to have fun.

We didn't.

If we were in a tournament, we were usually the first ones to leave a tournament or something.

We went two or three years without anybody in our team hitting the ball over the fence, all right?

But I was committed to this team.

And we barely had enough people each week to show up.

And if we won, it was an act of God.

But this one night, I had my uniform on.

We had the full uniforms back then.

And we, you know, this is back in the 70s.

I went to the game, I usually played in the outfield.

And one of.

We didn't have enough players hardly.

We had just enough.

And the coach said, greg, you want to play first base?

And I go, sure, because I like to play first base.

So I was playing first base.

I mean, this was my night.

And I got down and my stance, and we were playing the number one team in the league, all right?

And we were actually winning by like, three runs at this point.

And I was on first base, and there was a runner on first base and a runner on second base.

And there was no outskirts.

And the guy, the batter for the other team had a line drive right at me.

And I put my glove up, caught the ball.

I said, oh, there's a guy on first.

He took off.

So I stepped on first, got that guy.

That was two outs.

The guy on second that was on second took off running for third because he.

He maybe didn't have any confidence in me catching the ball.

And I threw the ball.

Perfect throw to the third baseman.

Out.

We had a triple play.

That is my sports reel of life, other than my motorcycle days.

And I was ecstatic, and everybody in the team was excited.

We ended up losing the game, I think 15 to 3.

But I was on top of the world.

Triple play.

So I could not wait to get home to tell Linda what happened.

So I went in, went in, upstairs.

We had an apartment.

Went in the apartment, and I looked for her, and she was in bed.

And I said, linda, guess what?

I got a triple play.

And she was.

I said, I got a triple play.

Well, what happened is that day, Linda had gone to the dentist and had all four of her wisdom teeth pulled out.

Usually most people get one or two and they're bad shape.

She had all four.

Do you forgive me for this?

I think I should forgive myself for being so Silly.

Yeah, all four of them.

So her mouth was full of cotton, getting over the pain.

And her hero, who got a triple play, left her home all by herself.

Yeah.

So do you think that night I demonstrated that she was something very much valued?

That she was the center of my affections and love?

No, I was more committed to my softball team who couldn't even hit the ball out of the park.

Was basically losers to go play and be committed.

I was going to show up when my wife needed me at home to take care of her.

Well, thanks for sharing that.

Oh, you're welcome.

Well, here's a few things that when that men your wife may feel are more important than one would be.

Spoiled sports, like Greg just said, maybe yards, your job, a pet.

Could be fishing or hunting.

Yeah, you think about.

There's guys that got their fishing poles hunting.

Oh, they're always cleaning those things, taking care of them.

Their car, their motorcycles, a boat, gaming.

Oh, yeah, devices.

That's a big deal nowadays.

Sometimes it's children or parents or their mom or their dad, or maybe it's a coworker or a neighbor.

Social media, tv.

Maybe it's church work.

I mean, the list goes on and on, you know, hey, guys, just saying I love you does not let her know that you cherish and treasure.

Treasure her.

No.

So men, what or who is the treasure of your heart?

That's the question.

You see, your.

Your.

Your actions speak louder than your words.

That's why many, many wives today don't feel like they're their man's number one treasure.

Now, here's another story I. I want to.

Want to read to us.

And it's from a. Ann Lander's newspaper article.

These are from back in the 70s.

And there's a lady people wrote to to get advice and example.

So that's why I'm going to read this one right now.

Remember, we're talking about treasuring your wife.

And this.

This person wrote into Ann Landers and said, my heart is going to break if I don't tell someone how I feel.

The person who needs to be told is my husband and I, and I've tried, but it doesn't help.

Maybe he'll read this in your column and understand.

Last December, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

So far, I've been able to handle my anxiety and despair.

However, I recently attended a seminar sponsored by the local chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

And after seeing the unfortunate condition of so many people there, I became overwhelmed and broke down.

All I Could think of was getting home so my husband was.

Could comfort me until I was able to pull myself together.

When I arrived home, I asked him to hold me and I wept in his arms.

The whole time I was talking, he had one eye on the tv.

Apparently I had come home with my emotional neediness and interrupted a show he was watching.

As his TV program continued and I kept talking quietly, he would glance at me, then back at the screen.

I could tell he wished I would be quiet so he could give his full attention to the show.

He might just as well slapped me in the face.

Having Ms. Is hard enough.

Must I also accept I'm dealing with it alone?

Husbands, remember whom you please, whom you give your time to the most.

What gives you the most joy.

What brightens your eyes up?

Does your wife brighten your eyes up?

Or is it so focused on sports or your work, your career, football, what you talk about all the time, they will reveal your treasure.

You know what else even your body language can, can, can reveal what you think.

You know, holding your wife's hand.

When you walk into a room, maybe it's the church or a business meeting, you're out shopping, you grab your wife's hand.

That says, I am proud of my wife.

She is my treasure.

You put your arm around there.

That's a sign of protection.

You pull her up to her.

So when people see you, that just gives a different air about you guys.

It's like you've got a connection going on, that you love each other, that you love her.

You know, some men, you go out and they'll walk, just walk and leave their wives behind.

You know, the wives are just walking back there and the men just take off.

How do you.

How does your body language.

Do you ever.

Do you open the car door for, you know, women, ladies, you're not weak.

We know that.

We know you can open your own door.

But you know what?

It's a sign of respect and honor when a man opens that.

Because I opened a car door for Linda, because she's my wife.

I love her.

And that's the way just like dignitaries or people get out of these limos.

It's a sign of honor.

The president gets out of the car.

You know why?

Because he's the President of the United States.

I open my wife's car door because she's my wife and my queen.

So I'm showing her respect.

I opened the door for her because I'm honoring her.

That's why we do that.

We know you can do it.

Matter of fact, Linda could open the door for me most of the time, you know, but that's why we do.

What is your body language?

Or you walk in and say, this is my woman and I am proud of her.

You go to a work conference.

I know a lot of you guys go to work meetings.

And do you.

Do you.

Do you walk in and your wife's your pride and joy, or you just kind of leave her there?

So let your body language speak.

Yeah, go ahead.

Men, your wife is a gift from God.

Yes, that's the point.

We're trying to get it.

We'll be getting across to.

To you.

How do you husbands see her?

You're saying that.

So Linda just said, how do you see her?

But I want you guys, and me too.

How do you see her?

Think about.

And we get done with this podcast.

How do I see my wife?

Just go past what you're normal to seeing around, but really think about how.

What do I see when I see her?

Right.

Proverbs 18:22.

It says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Now the NLT version says, he who finds a wife finds a treasure.

And there you go, men.

That's what it's all about.

So see her and treat her like a queen.

She is your partner in life.

She's your teammate.

She's your help, mate.

She is your friend and lover.

All right, but what if she doesn't act like a queen?

Guys, if she's not acting like a queen, it doesn't matter.

You still treat her like she's one.

Because maybe she's not acting like a queen because she doesn't feel like a queen.

And then you're.

Now we're getting into different issues that could be going on in your marriage, maybe her, but regardless, you still treat her like a queen.

Her value isn't based on her performance, looks, or anything else.

Remember, love is unconditional.

Right?

Right, Romans.

And here's what Romans 15:7 says.

Accept one another.

Just as Christ also accepted you.

So did you have another example?

Today's inlanders, I guess.

Good.

This is talking about accepting one another.

I mean, this is a really powerful point here.

It says, dear Aleanders, you often advise women to ask themselves, are you better off with or without them?

Well, men should ask themselves the same question.

My wife and I argued too much.

She had some faults that drove me nuts.

One night, I contemplated leaving.

I got out a pencil, enlisted all the things about her that I didn't like.

Then in another column, I listed all her good points.

To my surprise, and embarrassment.

The list of good points was four times long.

Longer than the bad points.

I realized that I'd be a fool to let her get away.

I know now how lucky I am to have her.

Thank you.

Wow, that's powerful.

So, you know, men, we're.

You're not called to change her, but your actions toward her and your leadership is going to bring out the best in her.

See her and treat her like a queen, like Greg said.

And she is going to respond.

Husbands, cherish your wife.

Now, to do this, you know what?

What?

God created husbands.

Yeah, that's right.

To cherish their wives.

He created this woman.

He said, you know, I created you.

Is good for you two not to be alone or for the man not to.

Adam came first, right?

And then he told Adam, you know, I'm gonna create for you.

Help mate.

A helpmate.

Right?

Somebody along beside him.

So now you got a man and woman here.

Now you're looking for one, and you find one.

So here's what happens.

John 1:6 says this.

I love the scripture says, there came a man sent from God whose name was.

He was talking about John the Baptist there, but his name was Greg.

Or whatever your husband, whatever your name is wise.

Whatever your husband's name, there's a man sent from God.

I was sent by God.

Yes.

For Linda.

That's right.

I'm the one who's supposed to treat her like a queen.

I'm the one that's supposed to create an environment for her to function like a queen and to help her become a queen.

But I like First Corinthians 6:13, it says this.

Be on the alert.

Stand firm in the faith.

Act like men.

Be strong.

Well, as a man overlooking your family, you need to be on the alert.

Is there anything coming against your wife?

Is there challenges that she's facing?

Is she dealing with some issues?

There's a.

Is there areas she needs some help in.

Be on the alert on how you can treat her like a queen.

If you see her struggling, if she's having a bad day, what can you do to work in her life?

Stand firm in the faith.

Well, guys, you know what?

You've got to base your convictions and live by those convictions.

If you're Christians, the words teaching you how to be a husband and how to be a man, you got to stand on that.

And if you're at work and there's people making fun of their wives, you know, a lot of times people just make fun and joke about their wives.

You go, you know what?

My wife's not like that.

My wife does this, this and this.

I love my wife.

I'm a happy man.

I got a happy wife and I got a happy man.

Stand on your stand up for your wife and then act like a man.

Be strong, don't be a weenie, don't be a wimp around your wife.

Need to pray, pray, do different things, but be strong.

And then verse 14 comes in, says let all that you do be done, done in love.

So the way you treat your wife needs to be done in love.

Ephesians 5:28 29 says so husbands ought to love their wives as their own bod.

He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh.

Now here's the words we want to work on now.

But nourished and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church.

God's saying a husband is going to nourish his church.

That means feeder.

I mean his wife going to feed her, he's going to give him the the atmosphere and things that he needs, she needs to grow and then he's going to cherish her.

And cherish means to hold dear, to feel or show affection for, to nurture again, nourish, to keep or cultivate with care or affection and to appreciate.

We need to be appreciating our spouses to cultivate care.

So you're going to be treating.

You don't treat your wife like one of the guys or your brother like your boss or co workers.

You treat her like a queen, like she's the precious gift that God gave you.

As Linda talked about a little a little while ago here I want to read this another story about cherishing.

See the way you're treating your wife and the way you respond to her is going to con contribute to her, to her self image, how she feels as a woman, how maybe how she feels as a mom, how she may even function at work or wherever, whatever she's got going on and how she uses her gifts.

I want you to to listen to this.

This is called She's Worth Eight Cows.

And I got this out of a book, but I can't remember which book it was.

But anyway, here it is.

Many years ago I read a story that I've never been able to forget.

It was called the Eight Cow Wife.

It's about a Polynesian boy named Johnny Lingo who fell in love with a young girl on a nearby island.

The girl had been degraded by her father until she had no self esteem left.

See guys, when you get married, your Wife could be your wife or yourself could be putting on a facade.

You don't know everything that's going on in their lives.

But a little bit later, as we talked about in our lovers dozen, the baggage can come out.

You don't know that God put you, your.

Your wife in your life so you can help her get over what she.

How she got treated at home by her dad or other men in the past.

You got a calling, man.

We need to act like men and get it done anyway.

The girl had been degraded by her father until she had no self esteem left.

In this particular society, when you wanted to get married, you bartered with cows.

If the girl was very plain and ordinary, you could pay her father one cow.

If she was an exceptional woman, you might wind up giving three or four cows.

Woman took personal pride, great personal pride, and the number of cows needed for the trade.

Johnny could have easily traded one cow for this young girl and her father would have been thrilled just to get rid of her.

Instead, Johnny offered eight cows, which shocked the whole village.

When asked why he gave so many, he said he wanted everyone, especially his new wife, to know how much he felt she was worth.

Later, when one of the townspeople came to call on Johnny Lingo, he could not believe his eyes when he saw Johnny's wife.

She had changed from an ugly young girl until one of the most beautiful young women he had ever seen.

You see, when we cherish our spouse, our wife, and we treat her like that, we show her worth and how we treat her, it changes them.

So a lot of times, if you're looking at your wife, men, we got to kind of look back on ourselves and say, is there anything I'm doing to contribute on a negative way to how she's doing right now?

Well, Proverbs 31:10 says, an excellent wife who can find her for her worth is far above Jules.

That story kind of said it all, didn't it?

Yeah, that was good.

Yeah.

So men appreciate your wife for who she is and what she does.

You know, there's so much there a.

She'S a diamond in the rough.

That's true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Your wife is a diamond in a rough.

Just like it said, her worth is far above jewels.

And see, men, when we get that, our wife, she may be already shiny and she looks real good, but, you know, a lot of times you get a diamond and it can be valuable, but it hasn't even been polished and shined and kind of cut up a little bit and polished and so that's what God Is saying to us, we have an excellent wife that's been given to us, but God has put her in our life so we can bring out the best.

So we get our little wife.

That's the diamond, the rough.

We begin to kind of work on rough edges.

By the way, we love her, treat her, be a leader to her, work on her, and then before long, she's turning into a beautiful woman and she's shining bright.

Well, here's some of the actions, like you mentioned, that a man sent from God can start performing, you know, to help his wife get out of the diamond in the rough and become that sparkly diamond.

Yeah, she.

She needs to be needed, feel like she's needed by you, to be part of your life, to be your best friend.

And she needs to be loved and protected.

She can be real, to be charmed by your words and swept off her feet.

And for you to rescue her from her day's activities.

Wow.

That's a biggie.

Especially now in these homes where they're two income families and everybody's having to get the kids in all the sports off to where they belong.

Yes.

Yeah, that's important.

She needs to know that she can fall into your arms and feel protected and comforted.

Wow.

And men, you bring stability to her world.

That is a biggie.

Biggie right there.

Yeah.

And to assure her everything will be all right.

Oh, yeah.

Awesome.

To share dreams together, Share her hopes and desires.

To be her lover, her boyfriend, her knight in shining armor.

To follow your leadership.

To rock her world in many areas.

It's so true that a sexy man is one who is confident in himself and he knows how to treat a woman with respect, understanding, and kindness.

And next episode, we are going to be covering practical ways that you can cherish your treasure.

Men.

All right, that's going to be a good episode.

So.

Yep.

Tell your friends and family about it.

Now, in closing, there's just a couple honeydews that we want to do.

Well, actually three, but how about you guys?

All right, you husbands, Are there any people or things in your life that would be competing with making your wife your treasure?

Ooh, think about that.

That's tough, right?

And number two, husbands.

Think of some of the qualities that your wife has and then you know what?

Tell her about them.

Express them to her.

How to work, communicate.

Yes.

Go back on our one episode on communication.

There you go.

Yep, right there.

Now number three.

Ten second kiss.

That's a good way to communicate.

Good way to finish it.

Or the way to give you some juice.

Halfway through today.

Yep.

You might be surprised.

Yes.

In closing, thanks again for joining us today.

I hope you have gotten inspired.

I know I have, yes.

And we look forward to you joining us next week.

So we'll see you then.

But in the meantime, remember, you can be married and love it on purpose.

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And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and love it on purpose.