EP 35. Tips for a Healthy Sex Life Within Your Marriage; From The Lover's Dozen Series Pt 17.

Welcome to the Married and Lovett Podcast.

We are Greg and Linda Smith, your host from Raleigh, North Carolina.

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Jo.

Thanks for joining us today for your weekly dose of Married and love it.

Now today, episode 35, we'll be talking about tips for a healthy sex life within your marriage.

That's a continuation of the Lovers Dozen series.

That's tip number 12.

And for our first time listeners, this series consists of 13 principles that Greg and I applied that helped bring healing to our marriage back in 1986.

And now here we are approaching almost 48 years of marriage and we're still applying these principles because you know what, they work.

But I tell you, you gotta be intentional and you gotta imply, you gotta apply them on purpose.

Right, dear?

That's right.

Constantly.

Yes, constantly.

Be, be mindful the whole time, right?

Yes.

Now for those who want to start at the beginning of the Lover's Dozen series, it starts at episode 19, so check it.

Let me just throw this little disclaimer in.

The information we share may not be appropriate for younger years.

So parents take heed and play this at appropriate times.

Yes, because we were should be pretty clean on this one.

But you never know when you get into the topic of sex and intimacy, what can come out.

So we just want to let you know that information.

You know, Linda said, I believe she said in the beginning, get our weekly dose of married and love it.

You know, see this as a rule, a dose that every week you listen and when you listen to the podcast like you're doing on this one, you get a little shot, a little booster like you take your multivitamin or maybe you're taking your green spinach drink to give you a boost of energy that when you listen to this, even if, if it's maybe not a topic that you're, you're necessarily needing to hear.

But what it does when you're hearing this, it helps you define focus on your marriage.

Because maybe if you're not thinking about sex like this one's about sex, but just thinking about your marriage gets you focused.

What can I do for my spouse today?

What can I work on?

And it keeps your marriage and the importance of your marriage in front of you so you can be more intentional every day to have a successful marriage.

So before we continue on, I've got a couple of announcements to make.

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And then also you can go on our website at www.marriedandlovet.com and you can go to our store which we've started doing and we've got a few items and the main ones we're real excited about right now are coffee cups.

We got a 10 ounce and a 15 ounce.

So, so take a look at, I mean take a look at them go in the show notes and you can get a link right to our website and you can take a look at that and get you a his and her ladies.

Yeah, yeah.

They make good gifts too.

Hey, the coffee mug there's a 10 ounce size and a 15 ounce size and they're good looking and they're also good for gifts.

Yeah, like my July has a birthday coming up.

My hubby.

Oh yes.

So guess what he's getting.

Oh, I just ruined the surprise.

A coffee cup.

I get the first 15 ounce.

It's the first 15 ounce coffee cup.

All right.

Yes.

I can't wait.

I really do.

I like a big coffee cup and it looks good.

All right, so we're going to go ahead and get into tips for a healthy, healthy sex life within your marriage.

But before that, we want to review a little bit about what we talked about last week.

If you have not listened to episode 34, I encourage you to listen to that because it's going to really sets.

This for what we're going to talk.

About as we get into tips for a healthy sex life.

But last week we talking about the importance of sex.

We talked about the benefits of having an orgasm.

The big O and about how sex plays a very important part in your relationship.

So today we're going to get on, so get into some tips to help you have a better sex life.

And really we're really going to be doing a high level overview on this because we could probably take.

I've write a whole bunch of episodes to talk about all the aspects of sex.

I mean, it's not so much physicals, it's not just this part goes here.

It's, it's techniques, it's what you call mindset.

It's attitudes.

It involves your emotions, your desires.

And there's so many things that can affect it that go into being a great lover, which I know you want to be a good lover for your spouse.

So we're going to be doing high level, high level, oh, what do you want to say?

Discussions.

And then in the future episodes we'll go a little deep dive on a lot of these different topics.

But we want to start off with the scripture that we shared last week as kind of a foundation for what we believe that God's plan and, and desire for your sex life is.

This kind of represents it.

Okay, so it's Proverbs 5:18 through 19.

Okay.

It says, let your fountain be blessed.

That would be your sexual union.

And rejoice in the wife and I.

We put in there the spouse of your youth as a loving hind and a graceful doe.

Let her breast or body satisfy you at all times.

Be exhilarated always with her love.

And we broke that down.

Is.

Is.

And we've got our version of that scripture we're going to re show, but it shows that your sex life should be warding, exhilarating.

You know, it says here about the wife being exhilarated, being exhilarated by her love.

Well, men, we're not going to be exhilarated.

Or wives, your men aren't going to be exhilarated by your love if you're just laying there not enjoying it.

So this shows that God has it intended that sex is just as important for the wife as it is for the man.

Because a lot, there's a lot of teachings that seem to make everything.

The man's the one that's horny, he's the one that's always turned on.

He's the one that gets all the pleasure and the wife is just there.

Well, that's totally wrong because God actually created the female body to have more than one orgasm and has a lot more nerve endings in her body.

If you just want to look at the physical pleasure Side to enjoy it more than the man has.

Think about that.

But God has it laid out.

And there's more to it than that.

But God, the wife's pleasure is just as important as the man's pleasure.

The problem is, is they both get to that point a little bit differently.

Because we all know a man is like a microwave oven.

You've heard this, you just hit the button and he is on.

But all the time, a lot of times the wife is a little as a slow cooker.

Not an instant pot, but a slow cooker.

And we're going to be talking about that more.

But I just want you to understand it.

This is for both of you equally to enjoy.

Now let me go ahead and share our version of the scripture.

Yeah, you pretty much covered almost.

Almost all of it.

But let me just reiterate that.

Here's the married and love it version.

Rejoice and delight in the spouse of your youth.

Now that sounds happy, don't it?

Yes.

Rejoice.

Rejoice and delight.

Let their body always satisfy you.

Be exhilarated, happy and delighted in it.

Be captivated by their love and passion.

Yes.

See right there, you just get a hold of a good picture of what God wants.

But there's things that go in to make that happen.

But you know what?

What?

That sounds great.

And I know what you're thinking, oh yeah, that sounds great.

But that ain't happen in our bedroom.

Well, that's God's plan.

But there's an enemy in life that's coming to kill still and destroy the.

The happiness and joy that you have in your sex life.

And it's called the marriage busters where we take it down into it and call it sizzlers.

Yeah, fizzlers.

They're fizzlers that come in and destroy your.

Your sex life or cause it where it's boring and dull or maybe sometimes it's great and sometimes it's not.

You know, God wants it good all the time, but you know, there.

There are ups and downs, but that's his plan.

He wants you to be enjoying that.

But our goal through the lovers dozen, these 13 tips to have a happy marriage.

A good marriage is to teach you how to make love.

Not war.

Steal that or borrow that from the 60s.

Yeah.

Well, the lovers doesn't is 13 tips are.

They're really the foreplay to the foreplay.

Wow.

Of our sex life.

Right?

Yes.

All 13 tips are gonna work and blend together.

It's kind of like a recipe for a cake in order to create a healthy Sex.

So sexual lifestyle in your marriage, you gotta have all of the ingredients working together.

So check out the notes for some of the tips and topics that we've already talked about so far.

And that will kind of help you get a good foundation for where we're headed with this episode today.

Yeah, and like Linda talked about the ingredients to make a cake.

These 13 tips that we've got into, things that Linda and I use to get our life back on, our marriage back on track after we almost separated back in 86.

There's.

There's 13 tips, but they're all designed to work together so that when it comes down to making love, that's one of them.

Because sex is vitally important to your whole relationship.

But if you neglect one or two of those, what happens, it can affect your sex life.

Because a lot of people say, I've got a good marriage, but our sex life is just, duh, boring, or it's painful or it's not working.

I don't get anything out of it.

You know why?

Because people think all the other areas are doing good.

And you may know all the sexual techniques, but your sex life can still fail because you're not got the other areas involved because of a, of a.

One of you have anger and resentment in you because your, your other, your spouse isn't doing some things they need to do or treating you properly, or there's issues going on in your marriage and they're unresolved.

Well, that's going to impact your sex life.

So sometimes your sex life can be a reflection of the other parts of your marriage that maybe have some problems going on.

So our goal is.

That's why Linda says the lovers doesn't is the foreplay to get you ready for the floor foreplay.

When you begin to make love.

So you want to, you want to pay attention.

You don't want to neglect these areas of your relationship.

They're all just as important.

You know what happens in, you know, when you.

The story of boiling a frog.

How, how do you boil a frog one degree at a time.

He doesn't know he's getting ready to be boiled until he hits 212 degrees.

He'll just stay in the water.

Well, that's what happens in our marriage.

If we're not staying focused on our marriage on a regular basis, we're not doing, we're not walking in love.

We're not preferring one another.

We're not understanding one another.

We're not communicating properly.

We're arguing, we're being harsh.

And all Those things aren't going on.

Maybe at the beginning we don't notice it, but before long it hits.

And then what happens?

We become frustrated.

And that includes our sex life.

And what happens?

We begin to feel like roommates because we've been elected, neglected different parts of what we're supposed to be doing.

And all of a sudden it's subtle and you go, one day, you wake up in the morning, I'm sleeping next to my roommate, or everything is boring, you're not getting along, or worst case scenario, next thing you know, you're talking about getting separated or divorced.

So we got to stay focused on these things.

Yeah, we don't want that to happen.

And getting back to sex.

Sex is not just an event in your relationship.

It's part of it.

And it's actually the celebration of your marriage, which we went into all of this Last episode.

Episode 34.

Right.

Well, we stated there that sex is a gift from God.

It's.

He's given it to us to enjoy.

So, number one, we need to open it, right?

Yeah.

Some people don't open.

People, they just, like we said last week, they open and put it back in the box because they're scared of it or they didn't know what to do with it.

And.

Okay, so then read and follow the instructions.

Yeah.

Talk to us about following instructions, dear.

Well, I'm not real good about that, except for God's instructions.

The God factor.

Put that in there.

Read the.

Read and follow the instructions, and then enjoy all it has to offer.

So we got to be open.

We got to follow, read and read, keyword, read and follow the instructions, and then joy at all it.

All that it has to offer.

And so in this episode, we're going to be going over some of those instructions on how to enjoy.

Enjoy your gift of sex.

Yes.

Because we have several tips we're gonna talk about, and we're going to get to a couple of them.

That's what we're working on in this episode.

So when I was thinking about becoming better lovers, a.

A phrase came to me that you hear a lot of craftsmen and professionals that have crafts and trades that they do.

They talk about honing their craft, getting more specialized in it, becoming more becoming experts in it.

And.

And they want to take their skills to the higher level.

So our goal for you is to be able to hone in.

Take to the next level your lovemaking skills.

No, I'm not talking about just how the pleasure, physically your spouse, but also the lovemaking skills that start in the morning.

When you get up, when you're having conversations throughout the day, even when you're talking about the budget or having family discussions, you're honing your lovemaking because that's part of the foreplay.

To the foreplay.

So that's what we're going to be talking about, honing your skills.

And skills just aren't, like, I would kind of apply to.

Aren't just how tos, but it's mindset, attitude, and connections.

So these healthy tips that we're going to be talking about, they're dealing with becoming an expert lover.

Who wouldn't want that?

I want to be recognized as an expert lover.

And then I want.

I want my hub.

My hubby to be an expert lover.

Right?

Yeah.

And actually you work on all these things together because if you work on your people skills, your.

Your emotional skills together, that's.

Well, that can be challenging.

But you start working on your lovemaking skills, that can be fun.

That can be.

Practice makes perfect.

That's true.

So number one, commit your sex life to God.

And we kind of touched on it about following the instructions.

And that would be, you know, pray over your sex life.

You can do it individually, just with your.

Talk to God about our sex life.

Talk to God.

He created it.

Or if your spouse is open to it, then you and your spouse pray over your sex life together and then follow God's guidelines.

Once again, the God factor.

Follow his guidelines.

He does have guidelines in the Word, in the good book.

So then commit all of these aspects to the Lord.

Commit them to him.

You know, he wants to be a part of what's going on in your marriage and in your sex life.

And then if there's areas that you need to ask God for healing in your sex life or maybe an attitude or what.

Whatever it may be, do that.

Ask God.

Yeah, to heal your heart.

So bring God into it.

And.

And I'm just thinking it's.

Linda talked about praying for your marriage.

I know a lot of times, prayer, when a husband and wife pray together and have that spiritual intimacy together, just praying.

It doesn't have to be the big fancy prayers.

It's just a short little prayer.

But that builds intimacy, and that can actually lead and bring a deeper experience, even to your lovemaking by.

By having a good prayer life together, it just.

It just more part of the bonding.

I mean, God.

God's got so many good things that we can do that we can celebrate when we make love.

So let's get to the next number two, and this is a good one.

Decide to have a healthy sex life.

You know, nothing happens until we decide to do it.

We need to stop settling for.

So, you know, you say that scripture I read sounds good.

Oh, yeah, I would like to do that.

I want to do that.

We like to do that.

But what we're challenging you to do as an individual and as a couple really, is decide to have a sex life.

A good, healthy sex life.

You know, a dog.

You've heard the story about the old hound dog, and he's laying on the.

The front porch and he just howling.

He does a little.

I'm not gonna howl.

But he leaves a little howl.

And the old farmers, he's moaning.

Yeah, yeah.

And he goes, why is he moaning for?

He got.

They got.

The farmer goes, well, there's a nail underneath them, and he just don't want to get up.

And a lot of times we can complain about our sex life or wish it was better, or we just brush it off and say, yeah, we're gonna.

I'm gonna read that book.

I'm gonna talk to my spouse about this.

Or I really want to have.

Next time we do it, it's going to be better.

But you know what?

If we don't decide, if we don't have that moment that says, you know what God says, I can have an awesome sex life.

I'm gonna have it.

Yeah, you gotta get.

Don't settle for.

Don't settle for.

It's like I remember before I started losing.

Well, I've been trying to lose weight most of my life, but it was a while back and I needed to lose about 60 pounds.

And I was try and go and do and try different things.

And then one day I was sitting on the couch, I was hard to breathe sitting down.

I felt miserable.

And something just went off.

Said, you know what?

I am going to lose this weight and get in shape.

I rearranged my.

The diet I was on.

I tweaked my workout.

I was doing that.

Wasn't doing everything I needed to done, but I made that decision, and I was locked in.

Well, how bad do you want to have a good sex life?

How much do you want to have that bonding time?

And you go, man, my sex life ain't worth having right now.

I haven't had an orgasm in 10 years.

Well, decide you want to have one and it can happen.

That's another.

That's another episode, but it can happen.

You just have to make that decision.

So get fed up with where you're at.

So you know what.

Or say, you know we got a good sex life, but it can be better.

Well, decide it.

And then ask yourself, what do I want my sex life to look like?

What type of sex do I want to have?

How much adventure do we want to have?

How much pleasure do we want to have?

How do we want to accomplish it?

How are we going to do.

Don't.

Don't start looking at why it won't happen.

See, that's what happened.

We have to walk in faith in this.

You go, yeah, we want to have an awesome sex life.

Well, we got three kids under 10.

That ain't gonna happen.

You know what?

If you decide to do it, love will find a way.

And you.

Linda and I had two kids under.

They're only a year and a half apart, all the way up till they were early teens.

We found ways.

We may have had to leave the house, but we found ways.

See, if you make a decision, winners find a way to do things, and you're a winner because God says you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you, and he cares about your sex life.

So give it to him.

Like Linda said a minute ago, decide to have the sex life you want.

It may not happen overnight, but you know what?

It'll never happen if you don't try to do that.

You know?

And also remember, you need to decide to do this because, number one, you need to have it.

You need to have a good sex life.

Your spouse needs to have a good sex life, and your marriage needs it.

And maybe you say, you know what?

I can give or take it.

I don't care.

I'm not going to decide to do it or whatever, but you know what?

Your marriage still needs it.

So do it for your marriage, because it's part of your whole package that God has for you.

So ask yourself, what do I want?

I mean, when we get.

When you get finished listening to this, write some things down.

Maybe think about what would my perfect sex life look like on a regular basis.

Then, number two, decide to make the investment.

Maybe that's going to be.

You're going to have to talk to your spouse, and we're going to talk about communion, communication with sex stuff next week, I believe.

But decide to make an investment.

Maybe you need to get a good.

A good book on.

On sex or listen to some podcasts on whatever.

Maybe you just need to do it, all right?

Make the investment to make it happen.

Don't.

Next one is don't wait for your spouse to make the first move.

You start it.

You start it, and you Watch what can happen.

Whether it's the male or female doesn't matter.

You make it happen and give it time.

Have patience.

Now here's a little more.

Here's some things you need to do as we move on.

Okay, well, we've got A self evaluation is one thing we need to talk about.

Yeah.

First of all, how would you describe your sex life right now?

Think about that for a minute.

Good evaluation, because it can help you to decide what you're wanting.

Here's, here's how some people would describe their sex life.

Number one, it's satisfying.

We get it right most of the time and have room to grow.

Okay, that's, that's pretty good.

Number two, it's fulfilling and sizzling.

It's very creative, fun and adventuresome.

Exhilarating.

That's nice.

Yeah.

And number three, it's okay.

Not bad, but it's kind of routine and unadventuresome.

Alrighty, here's another one.

What sex life?

What sex life?

It's totally non existent or barely alive even.

Oh, well, sad to say that is true in a lot of people's marriage.

Number five.

It's unsatisfying, it's predictable, it's mechanical and it's boring, boring, boring.

Okay, well, here's another one.

Lousy.

Oh, no.

Oh no.

All the sizzles.

All the sizzle is gone and it's just a physical release.

Well, it can be boring because you're not surrounding the foreplay with the foreplay.

Right.

And you're not educating yourself on things.

So what can you do to take your sex life to the next level or keep it going at the top level.

Level and start moving up even more.

What can you do?

Think about those things.

Yeah, we're.

And those are things we're going to be talking about over the next in the rest of this episode and then the next one.

And we're going to talk about some things you can do and I think they'll help you out.

But decide what you want.

Evaluation.

That self evaluation.

Look at this evaluation.

Linda just said, think about where you need to go and how you can improve it and maybe just pick out one.

One thing.

You don't have to become a sex Don Juan lover one night or oh, what was sex goddess.

Oh, yeah.

One all one move.

Just begin to incorporate things.

And then, you know, we just say this is something you might want to talk to your spouse about and bring them in.

But if you don't feel comfortable with that, just work on, on yourself and we'll talk about that more in future.

Now, part one big challenge with deciding what you want is some people have the lower desire in the marriage relationship.

Most, most marriages have a high desire, low desire spouse.

There's nothing wrong with that and that's normal.

And even that high desire load desire role can change throughout your marriage because of different things going on.

And that, that's part of it.

But the low desire can say, I can never have a good sex life or I'm not even interested in it.

But we just challenge you if you're low desire.

Let's, let's, let's look at what the problem is.

I mean, you're always.

There's nothing wrong with somebody.

Maybe one person wants it once a week and the other person wants it four times a week.

Okay, that's, that can be worked out.

But sometimes there's reasons why people, deeper reasons on why somebody's a low desire.

So ask yourself, because this high desire, lower side, lower desire can be a big conflict in marriage, especially when it's extreme.

So ask yourself, why am I like this?

How come I am a low desire?

Ask yourself, really, really think about that.

Ask yourself what's causing this?

And then I.

We're going to put the fizzlers that we talked about last week into the show notes and go through and look at the fizzlers and see if there's things in there that may be causing you to be a low desire.

Is it because of past sexual trauma?

Is it because of shame?

It's.

Is it because you've had bad sexual appearance experiences maybe before this marriage?

Or maybe you're just totally fatigued out.

See, that type of low desire can be helped, can be dealt with.

You know, maybe it's hormone problems.

So look at what could be causing pain.

Could be pain, a physical condition.

And this may be you like once a week and the other person likes it four times a week.

Then you work on it.

Yeah.

You figure out.

But if you, my people are destroyed by a lack of, for a lack of knowledge, the Bible says so ask yourself, you don't have to answer this right now, but say, why am I low desire?

What can I do to fix that to make my marriage see?

You're doing it for the marriage.

Yeah.

And for your spouse.

And because you know what, if you're low desire, you're missing out on a lot of pleasure possibly that you should be having.

Go Back to episode 34 if you haven't listened to it.

All right.

Yeah.

Think about what the, you know, there's a root cause, you Know, you might be just thinking about the symptom, but there's always a root cause.

So let's get to the root cause of it all and let's see, ask yourself what you can do once you recognize it, what can you do to improve it?

Yes, that's right.

Okay, now, if you're a high desire, you're not off the hook here.

I want you to ask yourself, Mr. Or Mrs. High Desire, are your actions contributing to your spouse's low desire?

Are you throughout the day doing things that would cause anger or resentment to come up that cause them maybe to have a low desire?

Are you not spending time when you're making love with them to pleasure them?

Are you just laying there?

Are you the old saying, wham, bam, thank you, ma' am type of lover?

Are you contributing to your spouse's low desire?

Look at those things and say, hey, you know what?

Or maybe they need some help around the house because they're worn out.

And you can say, you know what, I can step up my game and help them do that.

Or give them some rest time.

You know, look at the fizzlers yourself and then be there to support them.

If they're got areas they're working on that.

You could say, you know what, I'm going to help you with these things.

Let's make some changes in our schedule.

Let's.

How do we do our babysittings or how, how can we handle the chores around the house?

Or what can we do to take off?

If you need hormone replacements or you've got a physical problem, let's get you to a gynecologist or a physical therapist or whatever type of therapist you would need.

Help them, help them.

And then have patience.

Because if one of you's got some issues going on, have patience as they begin to grow and learn and change.

Okay?

And again, look at the fizzlers and see how it's impact, how they're, you know, you do your own homework, say, hey, let me look at these fizzlers.

Is there something my wife or husband's not seen?

And see what you can do to help out on that.

I think that's.

Is that about it here?

You know, that's about it here today.

But I want to.

What would you like to say?

Well, I'm going to say just to sum it all up, put a little bow on it here.

Decide that you want to have a good sex life and ask yourself, why do I want to have a good sex life and what can I be enjoying if you haven't never really enjoyed it.

You know what?

There's a whole world that you're going to have opened up to you sexually in enjoyment with your spouse.

There's nothing like it when it's on until cylinders, and then when you mess up or something, you just kiss and make up and starts all over again.

But don't let the enemy rob you from a good sex life.

Decide to have it.

And if you've got challenges, if you've got hurts, you've.

You were sexually abused and you've got walls, there's people out there that specialize on how to help you with that.

If you're tired, we can work on that.

Whatever it is, God can help you get where you need to be because that's part of your gift from him to be able.

Hey, he's giving you the gift to enjoy because of all the work we do trying to create a good relationship and raise our kids.

All right?

It's a gift to enjoy.

So take action.

Say, what can I do?

Doesn't matter if it looks impossible or not.

With all.

With God, all things are possible.

Deal with the Fizzlers.

Make sure you're getting all the ingredients of the lover's dozen taken care of.

And like Nike says, just go do it.

Make love and not war.

And love will find a way to get you where you want to be.

Song of Solomon, chapter 7, verses 10 through 12, says, I am my beloved and his desire.

It sure is.

Yes, it is.

Come, my beloved, let us go out into the country.

Let us spend the night in the villages.

Let us rise up early and go to the vineyards.

Let us see whether the vine has budded and its blossoms have opened and whether the pomegranates have bloomed there.

I will give you my love.

Amen.

That is powerful.

That's.

Can you say Amen to that?

That's.

That's.

Which.

Which is.

Well, we'll see.

Yeah.

I tell you what, that's just the picture of what God wants.

I just want to pray over your decision right now.

Yes, Lord.

I just pray over the husbands and wives that are listening tonight or to this episode.

And.

And I just pray over their sex life, Father God.

Yes, especially in the area of deciding to do this, Lord, you know where each individual is at.

You know what they've overcome, what they've been challenged.

And maybe, Lord God, they've never had a challenge in their sex life together as a couple is out of this world.

Well, then those people, Lord God, just keep them on track.

Help them not to let the Little foxes come in and steal, right?

But Lord, for those people that, that maybe they've got a lousy sex life or it's good, but it's kind of.

Yeah, or maybe it's up and down, whatever, we just pray over that.

We just pray for great sex lives, for a good anointing to come on these couples to be united together, that they can put together all the pieces of the puzzle and they can come together and celebrate their love as they make love and celebrate their marriage.

Father God, Lord, where people need healing.

Yes, Physically, mentally, emotionally, that is stopping them from experiencing all the blessings you have for them in this area.

We speak healing spirit, soul and body where they need answers.

Give them answers, Father God.

And we just thank you for mending broken hearts in this situation.

If there's a husband and wife that, that their hearts are just hardened towards each other or maybe they, they are having sex, but they're not making love because of bitterness or resentment or maybe they just feel like it's a duty and that love has just gotten crusty.

I thank you, Lord God, for bringing healing to that, for softening those hearts for their eyes to be open and that so that they can prefer one another, love one another, and that they can have the enjoyment of the gift that you've given them.

So we thank you for it and give you glory for it, Lord, in Jesus name, Jesus name.

Amen.

Amen.

Honeydews.

Honeydews.

Well, number one, look at the fizzlers that are listed that we talked about in our show notes and see what ones may or could be affecting your sex life.

Okay, then number two, see what you can do to start improving on those fizzlers, you know, once you recognize them.

Well, that's.

You're almost three, four of the way in victory over all that.

And number three, think about how you answered the question about rating your marriage in your sex life and why did you answer them the way you did?

Think about that.

How did you rate your marriage?

How would you rate your marriage?

And number four, if you're comfortable now, you can discuss this with your spouse.

If not, then wait until we do our next episode because we're going to be talking about communication in this area and it'll kind of give you some tips on how to, you know, communicate on things like this.

And then number five is a ten second kiss.

You guessed it.

And you know, as you work on this area of your lover's dozen, the sex life.

I tell you what these 10 second kisses can really take on.

They can be pretty vitalizing, yes, but.

You'Ll just have a new little meaning when you kiss.

So what you do, if you haven't heard about this is find your say hey Siri or whatever timer you use, set it for 10 seconds, bring your spouse, your lover over to you and just give them a big old kiss on the lips and do it for at least 10 seconds and whatever way you want to kiss, that's up to you.

They can sometimes it can be good old make out mini make out session or sometimes it's just a lip to lip.

Not all of them are the same.

But I tell you what, there's something about doing that on a regular basis and developing a habit to it.

It just gives that sense of bonding in the morning or whenever you do it.

You can do it when you come from work, but just, just do it and see what can happen.

Yes, I think that's great.

All right, well, thanks for joining us and we hope that you've gotten inspired today and we look forward to you joining us next week.

So we'll see you then.

And remember, you can be Married and Love it on purpose.

Thank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the Married and Love it podcast.

Be sure to be a part of the ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other coup to equip them to be married and love it.

Also, subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com where you can learn more about Married and Love it and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have.

And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and love it on purpose.

Sam.