EP 32. Boredom Busters for Your Marriage: Making Your Marriage Fun: From the Lovers Dozen Series PT 14

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We are Greg and Linda Smith, your host from Raleigh, North Carolina.

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Hey, thanks for joining for your weekly dose of Married and Love It.

Today on episode 32, we're going to be talking about boredom busters for your marriage and making your marriage fun.

So we're continuing with the Lover's Dozen and anybody that might be new.

What the Lovers dozen is is 13 principles that Greg and I applied that have helped us bring restoration and healing to our marriage.

Back when we almost separated in 1980.

Wow, what a journey.

And you know what we learned by applying the Lover's Dozen after that time continued to mature our marriage where we just fell more in love and improved in our relationship.

And it actually set us up for success when about 15 years ago we had some major issues hit for so for those of you who are new listeners and haven't heard much of our story, you can always go on our website or and list or read about us there or go to the earlier episodes.

But actually around 15 years ago, Linda started having extreme back pain and since that time she's had two major back surgeries.

A pain stimulator put in, you might sit down for a while.

Just several things.

She's got to go through the whole list.

But I just want to give you guys.

She's had a heart attack with stents, surgeries on her legs, her eyes, her hands, had a hip replacement and she is actually still to this day getting victory over but dealing with chronic pain.

And during this time we've had some major financial issues that hit years ago and we got hit from all sides.

But we credit the things that we learned that we're teaching in the Lovers Dozen for helping us get through this.

Yeah, because we're still applying it.

We've had.

Oh yeah.

Every day we get to apply it.

Yeah.

Because if you got pressures come on.

On you, like finances, but then you got somebody who's having issues with health, serious issues, not just a cold, but serious issues.

And all that hits at once and you get tired.

And I've.

I've been the caretaker, you know, it's gone up different levels depending on what's going on.

But I'm still today doing some caretaking on different issues.

But all that puts pressure and stress on a marriage.

And if you don't know how to communicate, if you don't know how to walk in love, if you're.

You're easily offended, or sometimes somebody can get discouraged and just want to give up on things, that's when a lot.

That's a time when a lot of people get a divorce, which is one.

Of things going on apart from each other.

So these, these lovers dozens are serious things that we've applied and there may be some others that you might need that we didn't do, but this is what worked for us.

So now, and we've had to be.

Intentional about it, it's been on purpose that has come in November, we're going to be looking at 48 years of Mar marriage and we're able to say we're still married and love it.

And it just gets better and better.

It really does.

So this series, the Lovers Dozen, actually starts on episode 19, so you can go back and start listening through those.

And we cover.

Well, there's going to be a total of 13 different topics we're covering in this.

So before we get into boredom busters for your marriage, we got a couple of little announcements that we want to go over with you.

Number one is we have a newsletter that started last week and we're getting ready to send one out.

And we would like for you to get on our newsletter because we're going to have little articles, some teachings in it, a little bit about what we've got going on, what our goals and plans are, and just little nuggets.

So what when you get done with this episode, or you can put it on pause and go down there right now, just look where it says newsletter sign up.

You click that button, it's going to take you to a page.

All you do is put in your name and email address and it's going to send that to us.

And you're going to get a welcome letter and you're going to be on board.

So.

Oh, and we got to talk about the store.

Oh, yes, go ahead on the store.

It'll Be down there.

So when you sign up, there's a link also while you're in the show, notes.

Yes.

So go into our storefront that's on our website and let me just tell you, one of the items that we have is a coffee mug that has our, our signature married and love it on there.

But I love using my coffee mug.

Number one.

I use it for coffee in the morning when I have prime time with the Lord.

And then also it just reminds me to be praying, praying for the people that we're ministering to.

Praying that the Lord would use us to say the right thing and things like that.

Now some of you might use it for a pen holder or whatever, that's okay too, you know, but get one for yourself, get one for your spouse, get one for a friend.

And I know somebody.

Yeah, I, yeah, it's a great gift.

One of our.

Well, actually it was my sister.

She had a.

I don't know.

Oh, it was for Valentine's Day and she bought mugs for a gift that would go out for the games that they were playing at their little gathering.

So that was a pretty cool idea.

So here's just some different ideas.

And so click on the store tab and go shopping.

Women.

It's a good looking.

Good.

It's very good looking.

It's got our logo on both sides.

It's about a 10 ounce cup.

And so get one of those for yourself and somebody else.

So let's go ahead and get into the lovers dozen number 10 boredom busters for your marriage.

Making your marriage fun.

Now there's a scripture that we use as a foundation for a lot of.

We teach on.

For a lot of what we teach on.

It says Ecclesiastes 9.

9.

It says Enjoy life with the woman or I add in their spouse with the spouse whom you love all the days of your life.

The key word, and there is enjoy.

And enjoy means to take delight in, take pleasure in and possess and benefit from.

So God wants you enjoying your life, your marriage with your spouse all the days of your life.

Yes, that's true.

Doesn't matter what happens on TV or your friends say, or people you know that's gotten a divorce or what happened to your parents.

God has that for you now.

It takes work and effort.

That's why we're talking about the Lovers Dozen.

Now.

It says enjoy.

That's the key word.

But last episode, episode 31, we talked about taking time to chill out and enjoy one another because so many people are busy all the time.

So we talked about that so the scripture does not say be busy with your spouse all the days of your life.

So this week we're talking about boredom busters.

So that scripture does not say, be boring or be bored with your spouse.

Nobody wants to enjoy.

Let's enjoy.

Let's enjoy have fun together.

Do you think your marriage is boring?

Have you thought about that?

Is it kind of mundane, or do you feel like it could use some life, maybe some sparks, something out of the ordinary?

Is it Sparky?

Yeah.

Are you feeling like a roommate with your spouse?

Is it the same routine that you do every day, day in and in, day out?

Now, I realize there's got to be a routine because there's got to be a rhythm in life.

But, you know, where's the excitement?

Do you have spontaneous events?

Is every single thing planned out minute by minute, boring?

Boring?

Is everything vanilla flavored?

Well, there's nothing wrong with vanilla as long as it's got the hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate.

As long as it's mixed with something every so often.

Yeah.

Where's your sense of adventure?

Are you ask yourself, are you having fun?

Think about it for a minute.

It may not take you long to realize if you are or not.

Well, basically, excuse me for a moment, but basically, in life, yeah, you're going to have routines and there's going to be things going on, but that doesn't mean you got to be boring into a schedule all the time.

So that's what we're talking about, is adding the fun and excitement to your marriage so it breaks up all this mundane, boring stuff.

But you have to be.

What, dear?

On purpose?

Intentional.

Regardless of whether your marriage is boring or not.

Because some people, you know, there's a lot of people out there, they're boring.

Their marriage is fine, you know.

Yeah.

But regardless, here's what it could cost a marriage if boredom is starting to creep in on them.

Oh, well, first of all, they might miss out on feeling like lovers.

Yep.

And they might feel like drifting.

They're drifting apart because they're not nurturing their marriage.

And that leads to the roommate syndrome.

Yeah.

And then it means a loss of intimacy.

Yeah.

You forgetting how to talk to each other.

Unless it's just, you go do this, I'll do that, or how come you didn't do that?

Yeah.

And.

And it builds a buildup of stress in your life because you need outlets.

So you're just working, working, dealing with pressures, dealing with emergencies all the time.

You need an outlet, something to let loose with that stress.

And.

And it can come by Fun and laughter.

If there's.

If it's all work and no play.

Well.

And there's nothing to look forward to, you know, I love it when Greg will just spontaneously say to me, you know what?

I want to take you out tonight on a little mini getaway.

Just you and me are not tonight.

Maybe he'll say Friday night or something like that.

And I.

So the rest of the week, I'm looking forward to that.

That is.

That is a boredom buster.

Yeah.

Linda.

Linda is like that even in the past.

Somebody says, let's do a surprise party.

And I say, well, you know what?

She really.

Part of it for her is knowing that there's a party coming and she can start planning, enjoy it ahead of time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So something to look forward to.

That actually, that reduces stress.

Yeah, it does.

It does.

And it reduces, you know, stress will induce illnesses.

Yeah.

You know, well, that has been medically proven.

And so we want to.

Do.

We want to help you in your marriage to avoid that kind of stress and a lack of enthusiasm.

These are the things that are going to.

You might see creeping in on your marriage if you're not creating some boredom.

Busters, having fun, being intentional.

Yes.

Now, if you're not.

If that boredom begins to creep in and you're not dealing with it, especially like you're becoming roommates and just going through the mundane things of life, that can cause people or spouses to begin to seek excitement in the wrong places.

It could be online.

It could be at work with friends, could be becoming workaholics or going out with the boys afterwards because they're not getting what they need from the marriage relationship.

Yeah.

That could be a lot of what happens with affairs.

Yeah.

It's.

It's not something that just happens intentionally.

It just creeps in.

It creeps in, and all of a.

Sudden you're in a bad place.

And the enemy, the devil or lie, take advantage of that little things out there to get.

Get your focus off, because that needs not being filled.

That's true.

Now, here's a scripture.

Oh, no.

I know.

I want to add this.

When all this can happen, it can also lead to anger.

Oh.

And bitterness and resentment in your marriage relationship, especially which Linda's going to get into this a little bit more, I believe.

But if one person's more prone to need fun, and that's not happening.

Yeah.

And the other person is blocking it, or they're not making decisions to change.

They'Re just working all the time, or.

You know, that can lead to the Anger, bitterness and resentment.

Then you got more problems going on.

But here's a scripture that shows the importance of having excitement in your marriage.

That I believe Proverbs 17:22 says, and this is out of the amplified Bible, hey, happy.

Everybody say happy.

Think happy.

Smile when you say happy.

A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing.

But a broken spirit, a bored spirit, that's me.

Dry up the.

No, not no, that's okay.

Scripture need to make sure.

Yes.

No, I'm happy.

Are you?

What are we gonna do afterwards?

I'm real happy.

No Taco Bell.

No.

The message Bible says a cheerful disposition is good for your health, gloom and doom.

Have you boned?

Tired.

So what we're seeing here, when you're room, when you're, when you're having fun in your marriage, things are exciting.

You're getting past the mundane and there's going to be seasons when things can be mundane because maybe there's a sickness or you do have some new children in the home that can cause seasons of mundane because you've got an adjust.

But overall is saying a happy heart is good medicine.

And so when you've got your house and you're having fun and excitement, it says it works healing.

That's why if you don't have it, it can induce illness.

So that's God bringing in and say, hey, do this and look at what you can have.

You're enjoying, you're having fun, you're excited, you're anticipating.

That's what a cheerful and happy heart brings to the table.

Making time for fun.

Keywords making time.

You just can't wait for it to happen.

A lot of times you got to make time for fun and enjoyment.

That must be a priority in your marriage.

It can affect you spiritually, in your soul and your body, as well as mentally, physically and emotionally.

Yeah.

And you know, we taught back on episode 20 and 21 about the different personality styles.

Well, this really plays into this whole thing, you know.

You know, like Greg said, my personality style is sanguine, which means partying, life, fun, a lot of variety.

Where Greg's personality is more laid back.

He doesn't have to have that variety.

He doesn't have to have a party all the time.

He doesn't have to have people around him.

But you know what you can do.

If you find this is something in your marriage, then find a compromise.

You know, talk about it and see.

First of all, learn about the temperaments.

If you don't already know.

Learn about the personality weaknesses.

Learn how to temper them.

And we go into that.

We do a deep dive on episode 20 and 21.

And then start thinking about it and ask yourself, how can you work the different temperaments, the different personality styles into being, you know, not being a boredom person, you know?

Yeah.

You know, see, like with Linda, when we got married and almost all areas of our life, she liked activities all the time.

I didn't necessarily like activity.

I was the only child.

I didn't.

Didn't have to have it.

I just.

Yeah, I was from a big family, and it was like, the more the merrier.

I mean, it even comes out with eating I can eat.

Especially since we've both been on diets.

Right.

Lost a bunch of weight a while back.

I.

I'm.

I'm good with chicken and eggs and then more chicken and more eggs out of regular or set meals that we would have.

But Linda, after about two times, huh.

One meal.

One meal.

She's boring for something different.

Sometimes we can have five boxes of cereal in the house and it just.

Well, yeah, you go in there right now, all right.

Because she wants this flavor, then she wants that flavor, Then she wants.

But that's how it can.

That's how it affects.

But if I come in and say no, one box of cereal and it's a family size and I'm not going to eat it, so you can't get it for three months, even if it's stale, you know, that's not going to work.

So you got to respect that.

You got to respect each other's.

Yes.

Likes and dislikes.

That's true.

You can't make the person that's more laid back, turn them into gotta have party all the time.

But the one who there's a balance needs that.

It needs to be a balance.

Yeah, there needs to be a balance.

Well, what's the definition of spontaneous then?

Okay, so that's what we're going to talk about.

There's times when you can plan activities, and that's good.

We need to do that.

But a big part of this is being spontaneous.

That means it's not planned and something good's going to happen.

Right.

Spontaneous means occurring because of a sudden impulse or inclination.

And no, I'm not talking about ladies.

You get out of the shower and your husband walks in, and then you know what he wants.

That.

That could be spontaneous.

But that's not what we're getting to tonight.

All right, we're gonna do another subject.

That's why you were thinking.

But it's an idea that pops into Your mind.

And here's the formula for being spontaneous.

You have an idea or impulse, then that idea comes in and you have to make a decision.

Oh, that's an awesome idea.

That would be fun.

Then you have to make a decision to act on it.

And then you need to take immediate action or put the plan in motion.

But what happens?

People get this awesome idea and they go, oh, that, that would be fun.

Oh, we can't do that.

There's not time to do that.

We don't have time.

It could be like a, a wife.

She's.

Maybe it's a homemaker wife or, or the one at work.

She's working even.

And all of a sudden she says, man, I've been thinking about my husband.

Oh, I, I've just been thinking about him.

I need to call and let him know that I've had his.

My thought.

He's been on my thoughts and I can't wait to see him tonight because the kids are going to be gone and you go, oh, I should call him up right now.

Or send them a text.

Nowadays it.

Send the text and you go, oh, no, no, he may be.

He, he may be in the middle of a meeting and.

Yeah, I can't.

I don't want to interrupt.

Somebody may be in the room.

Oh, wait, I gotta go get ready for appointment or I need to go to the bathroom.

So you blow it off.

You blow it off.

But if you go, I'm gonna do it anyway.

And you send that text and he gets that text or phone call and it says, hey, dear, I just love you.

I appreciate all you're doing.

You know what?

The kids are gone and I'm looking forward some time for some time with you tonight alone.

Hurry home.

You know what that guy's going to be doing all afternoon?

He's going to be smiling and grinning and the co workers are going to wonder what's going on.

Yeah.

And you just.

Even something doesn't happen, you've built him up.

So that's one part of being spontaneous.

So be spontaneous.

Here's another example.

Let's say you and your, your spouse are working out in the yard and you're all hot and sweaty and, and one of you goes, you know what?

I think it'd be great for us just to stop what we're doing, clean up, and then just go out and get a nice meal and then let's, you know what?

There's a good movie playing tonight.

Let's go do that too.

We, we try to do this yard another time and you go, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, but you know, we really got to get this yard done tonight, this afternoon.

And you.

What about the kids?

You know, we don't have babysitter right now.

We can't get a babysitter on short notice.

And something.

Maybe we'll just plan that next week.

You know what?

Next week probably won't happen.

Or you can say this, this is an awesome idea.

I'll go in and try to get a babysitter.

I know two or three people we can call and see if they can come or not.

We'll get that worked out.

And then I know a place we can go eat that's.

And it's close to the theater with the movie you're playing.

And then before long, you start getting excited and you pull it off.

You go out, you go to eat, and you go to the movie.

And then afterwards you go, hey, let's go get a cup of coffee and just sit and chit chat for a little bit.

So you go get some coffee, or maybe you go buy a little ice cream shop and get some ice cream.

And then you go think, oh, what about the babysitters?

So you, you say, just call them and see if they can be there for another hour.

And you do that, and then you get done with your coffee and you've just been having a nice time chit chatting.

And then you say, all right, we need to go ahead and hit head home now.

And then as you're driving home, you get caught at a red light and you look over and you try to steal a kiss from your spouse, and she goes, we can't do that.

Somebody's gonna see us.

Or you go ahead and just lean over.

See, back in the day when we were dating and getting.

We got married back in the 70s, the, the, the red lights were long and you had bench seats and you could just scoot right over and plan a good one real easy.

But you know what?

Who cares if they see you reach over and get a kiss and then you head on home, and then you enjoy the rest of your evening.

But what if you would have said, no, we got to get this yard done.

What would the neighbors think?

See, spontaneous.

Allow for spontaneous to come into your life.

Doesn't have to be something major, but just little things.

When something pops up, act on it.

It could change your day, your spouse's day.

It could develop some memories.

There's a lot of doors that can open.

No, you don't have to be spontaneous every moment, but you want to bring it into your lifestyle.

Yeah.

Well, you know, spontaneous is a skill that is learned.

Yes, it is.

Do you realize that?

And we got to practice it.

You got to get from stinking thinking to opportunity thinking.

There you go.

That's it.

And practice it.

Yes.

You know, like Greg said, make it a habit.

But most.

Most people, they don't ever act on those impulsive ideas.

They tend to think, not now.

This isn't a good time.

Instead of now is the time.

Seize the moment.

Seize the moment.

Seize the moment.

Quit filtering your spontaneous thoughts.

And rather than develop a spontaneous lifestyle.

Yep.

Isn't that nice?

Don't be a wet blanket.

It's a lifestyle.

It is a lifestyle.

That's the way it ought to be.

Right.

Become known as the fun couple.

Yeah.

Man, look at that couple.

They're always doing things together.

They got smiles on their faces when they're out together.

Because why they're spontaneous and they're not.

And they're enjoying their life together.

Prune faces.

They're happy.

Yes, they're happy.

Like Greg said, with a text during work hours or a phone call.

Something like that.

Yeah.

And, you know, variety is the spice of life.

Doing the same things all the time in your marriage, relationship, over and over is boredom.

I know a guy on his.

Another radio show or podcast.

He goes, don't be boring.

Yep.

By adding variety to your relationship, you move from being working partners.

So I like this one.

To loving partners.

Be a loving partner.

That doesn't mean you're just nice.

That means you're a lover.

Yep.

So get creative.

Start stirring up your creative juices.

Yeah.

Change your routine sometimes.

And if the different things you do, like eating at the same restaurant all the time, well, you know, some people do that and they're not bored and they're totally happy, well, that's fine.

But maybe you're just kind of.

It's just a ritual.

You're going to the restaurant out to eat.

Well, maybe you need to mix it up a little bit.

Or eating the same meals.

Like I already mentioned about Linda getting bored with the same meal.

So what I do is make her eggs over easy instead of scrambled.

You cook them in a variety every.

Areas, even where you make love.

And we're going to talk about that in the next couple of.

Down the road.

Are romance and sex topics.

Maybe wear some different pajamas.

If you wear pajamas tonight, mix it up.

Maybe if you wear pajamas, don't wear the bottom that night or don't wear the top.

You know, if you wear sweats around the house, all the time, like more in the winter.

Spice it up a little bit and dress up a little bit.

Just walk out.

Sometimes Linda will come out and she'll have some nicer clothes on.

Pretty.

I don't know what you call it, this outside going out, clothes on.

And I just look at wow.

Instead of maybe some old shirt or me too, wear a nice collar shirt or something.

And he'll say, are you going somewhere?

And I said no, I just wanted to dress up for you.

Yeah.

Or Greg will do that for me.

He'll put on a really nice shirt instead of something that he's just gonna slough around in the house on.

Yeah.

Surprise your spouse.

Are you a predictable person?

Ask yourself that question.

Being predictable, that's going to lead to being boring.

So then determine that you're going to become unpredictable.

Right.

Think aways in your relationship with your spouse on how you can become unpredictable and change.

You know, surprise your spouse.

Then like Greg said, some ideas is wearing different clothes at different times.

Things that you might suggest that you can do together.

You know, think of some different ideas.

Well, let's look at a few boredom busters.

We're going to bust out those boredom things.

That's right.

We're going to change number one, our environment for a woman, you know what, men just getting out of the house, that's making all the difference for her.

Because when a woman's at home, she's really on the job.

Yes.

Because there's always a to do list.

It's hard to relax.

It's, it's really hard to, you know, sit down and just enjoy, you know, doing something different.

Because she's got this long to do list it.

And you know, I'm gonna apply that to yesterday after church.

We didn't know if we wanted to go get something to eat or not.

And I like get subway.

So we went over to a nice subway because the ones by our house aren't too good.

But we went over there and we just had the whole place ourselves.

Could be because the, the lunch crowd hadn't hit and we just had nice conversation and we talked and, and just had a good time.

And then we were heading home and Linda goes, oh look, there's an ice cream place right there.

And I said no, we don't need to have that.

That's not good for our bodies.

I know.

I said, no, that's a great idea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It didn't take long.

We both went through the drive through and we weren't planning that because we were going to come home and work on some scripting and different things for the podcast.

But we said, you know what, let's go.

Let's go get a ice.

An ice cream cone.

We got nice waffle cones with good ice cream and we enjoyed that.

But.

And one of the reasons why we went out to eat, because a lot of times I knew we're going to be working on stuff, but it's just nice to be out of the house.

Right.

Because we.

That either whether it's your family and you have children in the home.

Yeah.

Or whether you're just you and your husband, you know, you and your wife, you know, and that's it.

Yeah.

Because we.

It's just that change of environment because.

We'Re eating in the kit.

Say we're.

Because we'll eat in the kitchen area.

A lot of times you look over there, you can.

You can see, well, this didn't get washed.

That needs to be done.

Or, you know, the laundry sitting over there.

And you just can't enjoy things as much.

Right?

No, you don't have to do it all the time.

But those are.

Those are boredom busters.

So I want to tell a little story that is so funny about my grandma and Grandpa Pete's.

Actually, they were great Grandma and Grandpa Pete and they lived on a farm.

This is quite a few years ago.

And I remember my grandmother telling me about this, you know, back in the day, they'd be working in the kitchen.

The women would.

Our grandma would.

She'd be getting the meal ready or putting out some apple pies or something.

She always made such good apple pies.

And so we.

Grandma Trombley, she says she would, as a child, she would hear the cowbell ring a cow bell that was ringing.

Well, Grandma Pete's and Grandpa Pete's had a message for each other whenever the cowbell.

He would ring the cowbell, he'd ring the bell and he'd be in the barn.

That she knew that meant for her to drop everything and go to the barn and they'd have a little hoochie scoochy stuff.

They had fun in the hay, romping the hay.

Romp in the hay.

And now.

Now you're going to go buy a cowbell.

Well, so she had a lot of children.

I think there was 11.

11 of them.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Well, now you know why.

Yeah.

So there's things that you can do, you know, you can make.

You can send a message to your spouse that's just that message between you and your spouse to know.

Meet me in the back room.

You know, that kind of thing and just, you know, do something fun.

Just do something fine.

Fun.

Well, there's also do a little getaway without the children.

Now we always hear a lot of people saying that vacation sex is always the best.

Why is that?

It's because they changed their environment, right?

Yes.

And they got the kids in another place.

Yeah.

Right.

Where they could be alone together and so enjoy each other and not have that big to do loose list looking at them and that kind of thing.

Yeah.

And we'll talk about this more when we get into our sex and romance.

But you don't always have to make love in the bedroom.

You go to the barn.

Like Linda just said, if you got a barn or the workshed out back.

Anyway, so another part of good thing to do since a lot of times you can't travel.

Right.

It costs money to travel or you don't have time to travel, but you can.

I like this idea.

We do this sometimes we go out of our surrounding areas.

If we say we want to go on a little date and have a lunch or dinner, we'll go out of our area.

Maybe it's a 25, 30, 45 minute drive.

Like we, we go, we live here in north Raleigh.

We'll drive out the Wendell area which is a good little run out there to this one nice fancy sandwich type restaurant at a, at a clubhouse.

And we'll go out there, have a nice drive, can talk because it's got high, we got some highways going that way and we talk and we just have a good time.

We're not in a hurry.

One time not too long ago we, we got with a couple that we know probably about a 45 minutes to an hour away from here and there's a restaurant on a little private.

You know small, little airports that just have the small planes that fly in on all the time.

Well, hey, they have a awesome barbecue restaurant there.

And so we drove over there and met with them and we went to that restaurant and we could watch airplanes take off and all the aircraft and we had an awesome time that was very enjoyable.

But you know what, it was just a short drive so we weren't in our surroundings.

You know, we can go here and go to a restaurant and like the food might be good, but still it's just, and it's in our neighborhood.

It's not an adventure.

So have adventures then.

The other night, I mean, I guess this was spontaneous.

We were at church one morning and a couple said come on over to our place tonight.

Which was about 25 minutes out to the country from where we live.

They said, we're going to have.

Our family's going to make pizzas and then our daughter and her family is going to make pizzas and come on over, we're going to have pizza party.

So we said, yeah, we're not doing nothing.

So we looked at each other and said, yeah, well, I thought they made their pizzas and the other people were going to bring their pizzas over.

We got there and there's like six clumps of pizza dough and all the fixings were right there.

Oh, yeah.

And they incredible.

Everybody get a tray and make your own pizza.

You know what, we should post the pictures of that on our newsletter.

Yeah, we should.

Yeah, let's do that.

Yeah, yeah.

So the whole point, that was kind.

Of a spur of the moment.

That was for the moment.

And it was a fun time.

It built memories in us.

And we, me and Linda had a Hallmark moment.

I came up behind her and put my hands on hers and rubbed the dough.

Oh, my God.

You know, and.

But it was fun.

In other words, get out of dogs.

Get out of dot.

Like, here's another idea.

You know, maybe your budget is pretty limited and say you have a Sam's Club wholesale club card.

Well, it's pretty entertainment.

And then they have a deal.

Costco.

Yeah, yeah.

Go get you a hot dog and a piece of pizza.

Yeah.

You know, and it has a drink.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm not saying that that's a really very healthy meal.

I would not say, but.

And watch the people.

And watch the people.

That's what's so entertainment, entertaining.

So, you know, get creative.

You can, you can think of little ideas like this.

So change your environment.

And then something we talk about all the time for your homework is have a spontaneous, spontaneous 10 second kiss.

You know, we say do that in the morning before you head out to work, but you can do the 10 second kiss anytime, any time of the day.

In other words, just walk up to your spouse for no reason and just say, hey, give me a kiss.

Or 10 second kiss.

Break up the routine.

Maybe they're just sitting in their office and they've been work, maybe they're working on the budget stuff and then just walk in there and give them a 10 second kiss.

Or ladies, if your husband's in there working, come just sit on his lap.

Down on his lap.

Give him a good wet one.

Yeah.

And then wrap your arms around her waist just like Greg said.

We had that Hallmark moment where we were at the pizza thing.

He just wrapped his arms around my waist and he started kneading on that pizza dough ball.

And to get it into pizza.

Wipe the flour off her cheek.

That's right.

Well, but if you're gonna write, if you're men, if you're gonna go surprise your wife and wrap your arms around her waist, try not to surprise her because, you know, you might have a spoon that goes flying up in the air full of spaghetti sauce or something.

Yeah, yeah.

So do.

Do fun, little flirty things with.

Whether it's in public or at home.

Be flirty with your spouse.

Yeah.

Act like you're a boyfriend and girlfriend.

Yeah.

Hanging out together.

Or like the.

The farmer's market.

We have a really nice, big farmer's market here and a flea market.

It's all kind of combined, I think.

And then they have a restaurant that uses the fresh vegetables in for how they cook all their meals, you know, and that's always a treat when we do something like that.

So think about.

Like, maybe you like to do flea market shopping or antique shopping together or something.

But, you know, think about some things that you can get away and be spontaneous about it.

You don't have to have it planned down to the T, you know, every T, you know, crossed and every I dotted, you know, but just off the spur, you know, just off spot.

Have that spontaneity.

Right.

And get involved with your spouse sometimes.

The things they're interested in or things you both have mutual interest.

Plan those things or be spontaneous.

Say, hey, you want to go down to that flea market?

You want to go, hey, let's go play tennis today.

I'm not into it a whole lot, you know, but I want to play tennis with you today.

You know, do something.

Yeah, like meals.

We already talked pretty much about that.

But I.

I mean, such a good memory.

We had our last anniversary.

We stayed home and we cooked a recipe together.

It was the marry me chicken recipe.

And we cooked it together.

We set the table up like fine dining.

I mean, we just went all out.

And what a memory for me that that has been.

That was so enjoyable.

And so, you know, something like that do together, you know, board games, card games, Uno.

Do any of y' all ever play Uno?

There's a new one out there.

It's called New no mercy.

Uno.

That's a.

That's something you can sit down and play, just the two of you, or if you have your grandchildren over or whatever, do some board games together.

Sequence, I think, is another one that a lot of people enjoy doing together.

That it takes just two people.

Trash is another one.

That's a fun, quick game.

Kind of like what is that?

Go fish.

Right.

That's where you're.

That's not where you tell your husband, take out the trash.

And I'm going to time it to see how if you can beat the.

Record, if you can be the record, or if you're even going to do it.

No, that's not what that is.

But you know, these are fun things.

Spot create some spontaneous thoughts and ideas.

And then get out of the ruts.

Maybe eats outside on your back porch.

Use candles and music to set a romantic atmosphere in your living room or maybe in your bedroom.

And we're going to talk about that more in romance.

Decorate for romance again.

That's.

We're going to talk about that in romance.

So for time's sake, I'm not going to get into that right now.

Garden tub, bubble baths, sticky notes, you.

Know, you can stick them anywhere, you know, leaving little ideas of what whenever your spouse gets home that you want to do with him, not with the kids, right?

Yep.

Have picnic lunch on their floor and.

Well, you want to make sure your floor is clean.

Yeah.

But get creative is the whole point we're trying to make is get creative and have fun and remember that your spouse should be your best friend and that you enjoy being together and have fun together.

And if you've got kids, let me say something here.

You know, we said, Linda said get creative and have fun.

Think about how much time you spend for somebody's birthday party for your kids or you're helping somebody with a baby shower or wedding shower or some other type of activity, maybe things you plan at the church.

Well, just put some of the effort that you put into those things and the doing some special things for your spouse at times.

So.

But do remember this, that the different personalities play into this because some people, some like I know a couple, her husband wouldn't not want any kind of.

That's true.

Special.

Yeah.

You got to know your spouse.

Yeah.

What are they?

Like, you have to know your spouse.

Work.

Do what works for you and your spouse.

And if you got kids, then work on getting a game plan to get them out of the house.

Like plan your babysitters in advance, like have a little babysitter list or people that you can swap around with or you know, people that you can set up and call maybe at the last minute, that sort of thing.

Make reservations ahead of time for your hotels or restaurants.

Do have a go to list.

You know, a lot of Times we talk about.

Have a go to bag sort of thing, but plan ahead and put it on the calendar.

Get all the logistics taken care of ahead of time.

Have that list of restaurants somewhere you like to go.

Now here's.

Have a speed dial go to list.

There you go.

That for babysitters, couples that you could swap out babysitting nights with.

So for spontaneous times or when you're going to plan a date.

Yeah.

Don't wait to the last minute.

Here's an idea that Greg and I have done is we take pieces of paper, we put them in a hat, and we keep these little slips of paper of restaurants that we've enjoyed eating at.

And whenever we get into Twix and we have a spontaneous idea, we'll be like, well, where do you want to go?

I don't know.

Where do you want to go?

Instead of going through that whole routine, we'll let.

Okay, find me the little jar that has the name of restaurants we like to.

It's in our price range.

And let's pull out of the jar what restaurant we want to go to.

There you go.

All of that's resolved and you just head on down the road to wherever it is that you decided.

Maybe it's just a Burger King, but.

If you start bringing out the, the, the names of restaurants, though.

Nah, I don't want to go to that one.

Oh, yeah, don't start it all over.

You got to pick.

I know.

Then we got to do conflict teaching.

Yes.

Conflict management.

Yes, Conflict management.

That's right.

All right, well.

Well, in closing.

Yes.

Determine what would be fun for you and your spouse to do and make time for it.

You know, what me and Linda do or your other friends may do may not be things you enjoy.

Find things that you guys can do.

Get right, make it work for you.

You guys are what your time, what your budgets, what your creativity is, and make time for it.

And there's times you can get other couples and have double dates and, yeah, break things up, but there's.

You also need to have that time alone with yourself.

Ask yourself.

And then talk to your spouse and ask this question.

What we.

What can we do to eliminate the routine and mundane from our daily life?

What are some fun things we can do?

Mix in the fun with the mundane.

Shake it up a little bit.

Basically, anything that is different from what your normal is.

Okay, well, let's talk about a few honeydews.

Number one, decide to act.

Decide to what?

Act.

Act.

Act on that spontaneous idea that you might get this week.

Act on it and you be the one to initiate that spontaneous idea.

Don't wait for your spouse.

Don't wait.

Number three, if it's applicable, then get your babysitter list out that you already had prepared in restaurant ideas.

Get them all ready for when those spontaneous moments happen.

And again, I want to say when we talk about restaurants, it doesn't have to be a major sit down where you gotta spend a bunch of money and tipping and all.

It can be a McDonald's or a Subway or, or your favorite hole in the wall.

Money should not be the object here.

It's that time together and somewhere that you're enjoying.

And it doesn't always have to be a full meal either.

It could just be a cup of coffee and maybe a quick little dessert or something of that sort, but.

Or coffee or tea.

Right?

Right.

Yeah.

So talk with your spouse.

Number four, talk with your spouse about creative things that you can begin to do to break up your marriage.

Boredom, lifestyle, you know, ask your spouse, do you feel like.

Do you feel like our marriage is boring?

Ask your spouse that and sit down and talk about it when you go for that cup of coffee.

If they say yes or no, say, well, why?

Yeah, why is it?

What is it that, you know, we can change?

Yeah, what is it we can do different?

And then as you begin to do this, we just ask.

Send us an email.

You can find it on our website or we'll have it in the show notes, but just send an email and say, hey, here's something we did this week that was spontaneous.

Yes, we'd like to hear it because.

We'D love to hear what you're doing to make your life more exciting and not boring.

Yes.

And then finally, the ten second kiss.

Find your spouse though.

This is a planned one on the way out to work or when you come home from work or sometime just call them over and say, you know what time it is, it's time for our 10 second kiss.

And say, hey, Siri, set my timer for 10 seconds and plan a nice one on them and enjoy that.

Yes.

Well, thanks for joining us and I hope that you've gotten inspired today with some spontaneous ideas.

Enjoy your spontaneous week now.

We look forward to you joining us again next week for your marriage, your married and Love it weekly booster.

Booster shot.

That's the word I was looking for.

So remember now you can be married and love it on purpose.

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