Feb. 13, 2025

EP 15. Valentines Day is Not a One Night Stand. Keys To Making It a Lifestyle of Romance, Passion, and Love

Takeaways:

  • Investing time in your marriage through activities like our podcast is essential for relationship prosperity.
  • Valentine's Day should not merely be a singular occasion but rather a continuous lifestyle of love.
  • Romance and passion should permeate your marriage throughout the entire year, not exclusively on special dates.
  • Communication and spontaneity are paramount in maintaining an engaging and loving marriage.
  • Expressing love through small, thoughtful actions can significantly enhance the emotional connection between spouses.
  • Creating a warm, inviting environment in your home can foster intimacy and strengthen your bond as a couple.

www.marriedandloveit.com

This episode delves into the multifaceted aspects of marriage, particularly in relation to romantic expression during Valentine's Day. The speakers, Greg and Linda, draw from their extensive experience in both marriage and ministry to provide insights that resonate with many couples. They explore the idea that the celebrations associated with Valentine's Day—while enjoyable—should not be viewed as isolated events but rather as opportunities to ignite a year-long commitment to romance. The dialogue highlights the necessity of understanding and accommodating each partner's preferences, reinforcing that true romance requires effort and intention from both parties. Furthermore, the speakers underscore the significance of spontaneity and creativity in expressing love, suggesting that such practices can rejuvenate and sustain a vibrant marital relationship.

Speaker A

Welcome to the Married and Love it podcast.


Speaker B

We are Greg and Linda Smith, your.


Speaker A

Host from Raleigh, North Carolina.


Speaker A

It is great that you are taking time to invest into your marriage by listening to our weekly podcast.


Speaker B

The goal of our podcast is to provide you with a weekly dose of.


Speaker A

Marriage teaching to help you keep focused on your marriage.


Speaker B

See it as a freshening up of.


Speaker A

Your marriage, preventive maintenance, a marriage tune up, or fanning the flames of romance, love and passion.


Speaker A

You could even call it continuing education.


Speaker A

We will be covering everything that has.


Speaker B

To do with your marriage, including hot.


Speaker A

Topics like sex, communication, love and much, much more.


Speaker A

Our teachings are based on Christian principles plus over 47 years of marriage to each other and ministry experience.


Speaker A

We want to help you make your marriage great by teaching you how to be married and loving.


Speaker A

It is an honor and privilege to.


Speaker B

Have you join us.


Speaker C

Hey, thanks for joining us this week.


Speaker C

It's a special week.


Speaker C

Valentine's Day is coming up and there's a lot of celebration.


Speaker B

Will you be my valentine?


Speaker C

Yes.


Speaker B

All right.


Speaker C

I think I would.


Speaker B

All right, good.


Speaker B

We can do this show, but we're.


Speaker C

Going to be talking about how Valentine's Day should not be a one night stand.


Speaker C

You know, it should be a lifestyle of romance, passion and love all year long.


Speaker C

And so those are some of the things that we're going to cover in this podcast today.


Speaker B

Sounds good.


Speaker B

Well, we're going to start off on that note about a lifestyle as a lot of people like to give cards.


Speaker B

Some people don't like to give cards.


Speaker C

Some people don't even celebrate it.


Speaker B

That's true.


Speaker C

It's important to do something.


Speaker B

Yes.


Speaker C

For the sake of your marriage.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker C

And for your spouse.


Speaker B

That's a real good point because some people just start romantic.


Speaker B

Like Linda is not one that really gets in the cards.


Speaker B

I love cards.


Speaker C

There's money in it.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker B

We call it the paperclip.


Speaker B

Put money in it.


Speaker B

But she's not a romantics in that sense.


Speaker B

But I love cards.


Speaker B

I love giving them.


Speaker B

A lot of times in the past years, I will actually make my own cards.


Speaker B

I will get a piece of paper and fold it over.


Speaker B

I'll get colored markers out and draw hearts on them or whatever the occasion.


Speaker B

Then I'll get inside, use different colors and write a little love note to them.


Speaker B

That's just the way I am.


Speaker B

But Linda's, she's fine.


Speaker B

She just likes, I do a bullet card, you know, if a card cost $7.


Speaker B

Now, she said, just give me the money, give her the cash.


Speaker B

But different people like to celebrate More.


Speaker B

But whatever your spouse likes, if it's the one that likes to have stuff going on and more of the romance or out to dinner or some candles going sometimes and the other one doesn't do it.


Speaker B

Well, you, you don't want to force things, but you do it, as Linda said, for the spouse, but because your marriage needs it.


Speaker B

You know, Valentine's is a one night event and it's good, it's a good time to celebrate it.


Speaker B

It causes us to refocus maybe.


Speaker B

And maybe people get cards or they get, go out to eat or they get something special, that's great.


Speaker B

But it needs to be a year around lifestyle.


Speaker B

But, but that romance that it brings, that's the freshness, the spark that it can bring to your relationship means that your marriage needs it.


Speaker B

So you just don't not do it or experience it through the year.


Speaker B

But you say, you know what, my spouse needs this, they enjoy this, but my marriage needs it.


Speaker B

So that's what we're going to be talking about, creating a lifestyle that will bring spark, romance, love and passion.


Speaker B

It will bring in an energy to your marriage that you won't have if you're not living a life of romance and passion with your spouse.


Speaker B

Because if all you do is go to work, take care of the kids, or even if the kids are gone now, you just go to work and you hang out and you watch TV and you're not doing anything boring, boring, your roommates.


Speaker B

God has made your marriage to be better than that.


Speaker B

And we're going to talk about that in a little bit.


Speaker B

But I'm going to read this card right here and it has a picture of this guy on there and he's all proud of himself, looking, and he goes to my wife, a valentine card, it's from me.


Speaker B

And you open it up, it's all blank, but it has three words or four words on it says, I done good.


Speaker B

Huh?


Speaker B

Now this guy's thinking he's missing some help.


Speaker B

Yeah, he needs some help.


Speaker B

But you know what?


Speaker B

No matter where we're at in our romantic skills, excel still more because I know people will go, oh, my marriage doesn't need any help.


Speaker B

I know what I'm doing.


Speaker B

Or we're, we're good, we're good.


Speaker B

And, and maybe you think you're romantic and maybe you are the Mr.


Speaker B

Or Mrs.


Speaker B

Romantic to the max.


Speaker B

But the Bible talks about in 1st Thessalonians 4, 9 and 10 where Paul was talking to the people there and he said, you guys know how to love your neighbors.


Speaker B

You're doing good.


Speaker B

He.


Speaker B

But he said, excel still more so as we enter into Valentine's this week.


Speaker B

And then you make it a lifestyle.


Speaker B

Wherever you're at, I just challenge you to excel still more.


Speaker B

Step up your game a little bit more so that you can be a blessing to your spouse and your marriage will reap the rewards from that.


Speaker C

Do you have a story that you want to tell about?


Speaker B

I want to start off of this story.


Speaker B

Years ago, when we lived in Fort Worth, Texas, I wanted to do something special for Linda and to have a little fun.


Speaker B

I don't think it was Valentine's, but I just.


Speaker B

I always like to fix things up, put lights in rooms, make things romantic looking.


Speaker B

So somehow I got an idea to set up a indoor pool in our master bedroom and fill it up with hot water and have a hot tub time.


Speaker B

So I went to one of the stores.


Speaker B

I found a pool that probably sat about three and a half, three feet high.


Speaker B

It was deep enough so you could sit in it and, you know, the water would come up and put your arms on that ledge like you're sitting in a pool.


Speaker B

It was big enough maybe for three or four people on the inside.


Speaker B

It was wide where you could sit on it.


Speaker B

I said, I'm going to set this up surprise, Linda.


Speaker B

And we're going to sit down and just watch a nice romantic movie and just have a nice time in our bedroom because it was a large room.


Speaker B

And I said, but I'm going to need to get hot water in it.


Speaker B

So I blew it up, had to hand pump it.


Speaker B

Now they got electric pumps, and I had to hook a garden hose up to our shower head and run it in to the pool and put the water in it that way.


Speaker B

And I had to do this without her seeing it or the kids seeing it.


Speaker B

So I got all that done.


Speaker B

So they're in the middle of our bedroom is a big pool with water in it, hot water.


Speaker B

Had the VCR set up.


Speaker B

We had a romantic comedy and going to probably have some dessert and snacks and this chill.


Speaker B

Of course, Mike probably had some other ulterior motives in mind.


Speaker B

So I said, linda, I had everybody outside of the house or they were doing stuff.


Speaker B

So I said, linda, I need you to come back here.


Speaker B

And the kids were back.


Speaker B

Now we got them in their rooms playing We're On.


Speaker B

We had a split floor plan.


Speaker B

And I said, come on in real quick.


Speaker B

So she came in and she just looked and goes, what in the world have you done?


Speaker B

Something like that.


Speaker B

And I said, is our hot tub here's?


Speaker B

Your bathing suit.


Speaker B

Go ahead and put it on.


Speaker B

Of course, to me, the bathing suit wasn't necessary, but had to put the bathing suit on.


Speaker C

The kids were in the house.


Speaker B

Well, the kids were in the house on the other end.


Speaker C

Pg.


Speaker B

Pg.


Speaker C

Well, instead of X rated.


Speaker B

Well, you don't know.


Speaker B

But point being, we got into the pool, the water was warm, we were talking, it started raining outside, it was turning into a nice time.


Speaker B

And I'm going to tell you the rest of the story at the end of this podcast.


Speaker C

Well, Valentine's Day, a typical Valentine's Day.


Speaker C

These are the things that happens normally.


Speaker C

Cards are given, chocolate is given and eaten, flowers and balloons are sent, and even the edible fruit baskets.


Speaker C

Those are always good.


Speaker B

Yeah, they're my favorites.


Speaker C

Yeah, I like those.


Speaker C

Reservations are made for a date night.


Speaker C

Maybe it might be a night away at a nice hotel or a resort and the kids have been and you know, pawned off with the grandparents or a sitter.


Speaker C

Well, romance just kind of fills the air everywhere.


Speaker C

There's candles, the lights are dim, there's fireplace chats and there's passion lovemaking.


Speaker C

Everybody's looking good, smelling good.


Speaker C

Maybe during the day a special phone call has been made or a text has been sent, but the message being sent is, you're my sweetheart.


Speaker C

You're the object of my love.


Speaker C

You are the love of my life.


Speaker C

You're the most important person to me.


Speaker C

You matter more to me than my family would matter.


Speaker C

You're the number one party in my life.


Speaker C

And it's great to celebrate this romantic love.


Speaker C

It's fun, it's focused, it breaks the boredom of normal life and it creates really good memories.


Speaker B

However, what happens a lot of times is midnight comes, the clock strikes midnight, the carriage turns back into a pumpkin.


Speaker B

Prince Charming rides in on his white horse to fall into his recliner.


Speaker B

Cinderella goes from a beauty to putting on her old T shirt and her grubbies and what happens?


Speaker B

All is back to normal until the following year.


Speaker B

You see, we believe that Valentine's Day should be a year long event.


Speaker C

It should be experienced every day.


Speaker B

Yes.


Speaker C

In some little way.


Speaker C

It doesn't have to be a hotel night away or anything like that.


Speaker C

It can just be just, you know, a little note.


Speaker C

It could be a sticky note that's on your spouse's put it on his steering wheel as he's driving, you know, getting out to drive to work in the morning.


Speaker C

Just anything that would say, I'm thinking about you and can't wait for you to get home.


Speaker B

Right.


Speaker B

So Valentine's Even though we say it should be year round, doesn't mean you got to get a hotel reservation every weekend or you got to go somewhere fancy.


Speaker B

It's little day activities that say, I love you.


Speaker B

I'm thinking about you.


Speaker B

You are my knight in shining armor.


Speaker B

You're my Cinderella.


Speaker B

You're the love of my life.


Speaker B

And you're just doing things and actions and activities to express your love year long.


Speaker C

And then the lifestyle.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker B

And then you can put a hot tub in your bedroom if you want to.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker B

So.


Speaker B

So go ahead.


Speaker C

Okay.


Speaker C

So a couple episodes back, we talked about a couple, and it was about the kiss.


Speaker C

And we had expressed how it was so natural for them.


Speaker C

The couple had met in the foyer cafe, and when his wife came up, he just gave her a sweet little kiss.


Speaker C

It was really good.


Speaker C

But what happened is this past Sunday, I want to.


Speaker C

And they've been married 50 years.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker C

So that tells you that they want now, I think must be now.


Speaker C

So.


Speaker C

So now what happened is this past Sunday, they didn't realize I was watching, but I was sitting behind them a little bit, and she was sitting there.


Speaker C

He came in to the service, and he just grabbed her in the middle of service and just gave her a sweet little kiss again.


Speaker C

And you can see that they make it a lifestyle.


Speaker C

You know, I just thought that was really precious.


Speaker C

They're not newlyweds, 51 years.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker C

But they've got an awesome relationship and they keep the spark burning.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker B

What's neat about that story, too, is we need to realize as couples that people are watching us, that our kids are watching this.


Speaker B

Whenever you're around as a couple, people, maybe even in stores, if you're shopping or church or somewhere, people are watching.


Speaker B

And you can set the high bar for them if they see you getting along well, conversing with one another, maybe you put your hand on their shoulder, you give them a little kiss, you got your arm around them.


Speaker B

You're holding hands when you're walking.


Speaker B

People look at that and say, wow, I like that.


Speaker B

That's the way I want my marriage to be.


Speaker B

Or your kids are going, I want my.


Speaker B

My parents.


Speaker B

I want to be like my parents.


Speaker B

So people are watching you.


Speaker B

I mean, be enjoying your life.


Speaker B

But notice you can affect an energy, affect the generation, just by the way you're acting.


Speaker B

Because on the opposite side, if you're always arguing, you're showing no affection.


Speaker B

You.


Speaker C

You.


Speaker B

You just sit around and don't even talk.


Speaker B

That's the type of message that kids are getting that could set a Pace for them when they get married to be the same way or if you get a divorce, then all of a sudden that affects lots of generations.


Speaker B

So make it a lifestyle.


Speaker B

Love one another.


Speaker B

Let people see you loving one another.


Speaker B

That doesn't mean doing sloppy agape all the time, but express your love.


Speaker B

Be natural about it.


Speaker B

But this one couple, they're just natural about it.


Speaker B

And that's what the world needs to see.


Speaker B

The world needs more love and they need to see the right type of love.


Speaker B

Not what we see on TV where people are just hopping in bed all the time.


Speaker B

They're not married and it's sloppy agape, but they need to see the right kind of love.


Speaker B

So that's how you let your light shine as a couple.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker B

Were you going to say something?


Speaker C

No, I was just going to say what.


Speaker C

What does God say about it?


Speaker B

I like what he says.


Speaker B

I like this scripture.


Speaker B

We use it a lot.


Speaker B

It's Ecclesiastes 9, verse 9.


Speaker B

It says, Enjoy life with a woman.


Speaker B

And I put spouse whom you love all the days of your life.


Speaker B

If you're married, God wants you enjoying your life.


Speaker B

And I take that is.


Speaker B

It's not talking about when you're at work or when you come home and just doing all the honeydews and all that.


Speaker B

He wants you enjoying your life.


Speaker B

And enjoy means to anticipate, wow, exciting, romantic, you're having fun, you're adventurous, not having to endure or settle for.


Speaker B

So we just take this, I take it, to say that you're enjoying your life.


Speaker B

That means you and your wife enjoy going out for a date.


Speaker B

That means you might enjoy taking a walk around the block and holding hands.


Speaker B

That means you may enjoy going parking together and making out.


Speaker B

Yeah, you can do that married.


Speaker B

It means that you're just having a good time and you're.


Speaker B

You're allowed to have Valentine's Day year round, year long.


Speaker B

Because he says enjoy.


Speaker B

Because you know what, if you're not doing that, your roommates, you're boring.


Speaker B

Maybe you're a fuddy duddy.


Speaker B

I don't know what it is, but he wants you to be having fun.


Speaker B

Even if you're having the work, even if you've got two or three kids at home.


Speaker B

I remember when he, we had our kids at home when they were that all those ages, the young ages, we still were able to get out of the house.


Speaker B

We would get a babysitter.


Speaker B

We, the kids, the grandparents would take care of them.


Speaker B

But we would still make it a priority to go out and have dates or go out to do something or go someplace where we could just be alone and we had fun.


Speaker B

And that's what it means.


Speaker B

Enjoy.


Speaker B

Enjoy your life with your spouse.


Speaker B

And then it says, all the days.


Speaker B

All the days of your life.


Speaker B

It doesn't say love your spouse once a year on Valentine's Day.


Speaker C

Right.


Speaker B

Daily.


Speaker B

That's what we want to get across.


Speaker B

Daily.


Speaker B

If your spouse is with you right now, look over there and say, I love you every day.


Speaker B

Let me give you a kiss right now.


Speaker B

Daily.


Speaker B

Do that.


Speaker B

Verse 10 is the key.


Speaker B

It comes on and says, whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.


Speaker B

Well, if you're going to enjoy life with your spouse, that's what you're putting your hand to.


Speaker B

We talked this about this in one of the previous episodes that when you got married, you're holding your spouse's hand, you're putting your hand to your marriage.


Speaker B

So that means become a master lover.


Speaker C

I like that.


Speaker B

Become a master lover.


Speaker B

Yeah, that's not talking about just on the sex side, which you need to learn how to be that.


Speaker B

But.


Speaker B

But become a master romancer.


Speaker B

Become a master lover in the sense you know how to write a love note and stick it on the car.


Speaker B

You know how to light a candle.


Speaker B

You know how to go in and create a cup of coffee or make a cup of coffee for your spouse.


Speaker B

You're looking for ways to bless them because they're your.


Speaker B

Your Prince Charming.


Speaker B

They're your Cinderella.


Speaker B

So whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.


Speaker B

You control your love life.


Speaker B

Don't wait for your spouse to do it.


Speaker B

You do it.


Speaker B

You control the love life in your house.


Speaker C

Another example is how do you greet your spouse on a regular basis whenever they come in the door?


Speaker C

Like, say they've been at work all day long.


Speaker C

How do you greet them?


Speaker C

Do you meet them at the door?


Speaker C

Do you stop what you're doing and.


Speaker C

And welcome them home?


Speaker B

Do.


Speaker C

Do you even acknowledge that they've gotten home?


Speaker C

Do you hit them with problems that have occurred all day long?


Speaker C

Or do you greet them with a hug and a kiss?


Speaker C

You know, think about that.


Speaker C

That's important.


Speaker B

I like a kiss.


Speaker C

I like a hug.


Speaker B

That's right.


Speaker B

Good.


Speaker C

How about a hug and a kiss?


Speaker B

Yes.


Speaker B

Double dip.


Speaker B

And double dip.


Speaker C

There you go.


Speaker B

Let's look at another greeting card that I came across.


Speaker B

I think it's got a good message to it, and it's from a husband, but it could be a wife sending the same card.


Speaker B

The card says, I don't always take the time to say the things you like to hear, like how happy I am to have you, to have your love and to have you always near.


Speaker B

I don't always let you know each day how proud it makes me to have built a marriage that for us is ideal.


Speaker B

I don't often put my thoughts in words, but if actions speak more clearly, I hope that mine have often said that I love you.


Speaker B

What do you notice that's in this card?


Speaker B

He's saying, I don't always.


Speaker B

I don't always.


Speaker B

I don't often.


Speaker B

It should be say, I always do these things.


Speaker B

Why do we not do that?


Speaker B

We're talking about a lifestyle of love.


Speaker B

We need to not wait to Valentine's Day or something major happening to tell our spouse how we feel about them, how much we love them.


Speaker B

We need to do it continually.


Speaker B

We need to say and do, I don't always take the time.


Speaker B

I don't always let you know.


Speaker B

So we need to take the time.


Speaker B

You know, we talk about doing the 10 second kiss, all about something.


Speaker B

Linda and I talk about all the time.


Speaker B

I remember one day going out the door and I hadn't done the 10 second kiss and I go, I need to do the 10 second kiss.


Speaker B

I'm talking to myself.


Speaker B

And then I go, greg, because I said I don't have time.


Speaker B

I said, greg, how long does it take to do a 10 second kiss?


Speaker C

10 seconds?


Speaker B

10 seconds.


Speaker B

Maybe take a couple seconds to walk over there, a couple seconds to walk back the door.


Speaker B

You see, you look over and you're doing something around the kitchen and it's in the morning, you know, your wife's getting ready to sit down or your husband's getting ready to sit down and maybe have their journaling time or prime time or do something and you go, you get this little voice that says, why don't you make them a cup of coffee and take it to them, surprise them, and you go, oh, I don't have time for that.


Speaker B

They probably won't want it anyway.


Speaker B

I got to get ready to go for work.


Speaker B

And what happens?


Speaker B

You're not taking the time also, I'm going to throw that in there.


Speaker B

Maybe we need to be spontaneous.


Speaker B

Yes, spontaneous.


Speaker B

What happens is you'll get that thought.


Speaker B

You know what?


Speaker B

I need to make that cup of coffee for my wife.


Speaker B

Oh, but I don't know what flavor she wants or I don't know if I have enough time for that.


Speaker B

Or I'll do that tomorrow.


Speaker B

I'll do it tomorrow.


Speaker B

What happens is you have that thought and you for some Reason, put it off.


Speaker B

And maybe you say, honestly, you don't have time and you're going to do it tomorrow, but what happens?


Speaker B

You'll forget about it tomorrow.


Speaker B

Spontaneous means you get an idea, you say, I can do that.


Speaker B

And you take action and do it because you don't know what, how much they're going to get blessed by doing that.


Speaker B

See, we got to get out of this routine that everything has to be planned.


Speaker B

Maybe you're walking past the laundry room and the laundry basket is sitting there empty and you hear the dryer go off and you know your wife's had a hard day taking care of the kids, she's tired, whatever, and it's the husband.


Speaker B

And the dryer goes off.


Speaker B

You go, oh, no, that Linda will get that later.


Speaker B

She can get those clothes and put them in the basket later.


Speaker B

You go, no, I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna pull the clothes out, put them on hangers, put them in the basket, and you take it back and say, put them down in there.


Speaker B

So a little later, they come in, the wife goes, what did you do?


Speaker B

Oh, man.


Speaker B

Oh, that just saved me so much time.


Speaker B

That was a lifesaver tonight.


Speaker C

And maybe that's demonstrating.


Speaker B

That's demonstrating love.


Speaker B

Yeah, be spontaneous.


Speaker B

And I'll bring that up on the sexual side.


Speaker B

Spontaneous.


Speaker B

You know, a lot of times people think spontaneous is just a quickie.


Speaker B

No, spontaneous might be when you grab your husband or wife and you start a 10 second kiss and the kids are, aren't around or already at school or whatever and you go, the desire, the arousal comes and the desire comes and you, you have a five or ten minute quickie.


Speaker B

But it's not that it's a quickie.


Speaker B

It was spontaneous.


Speaker B

And you allow that passion to come out.


Speaker B

But some people, some people shy away from that.


Speaker B

Oh, we can't do that because it's not time.


Speaker B

Right now, right then is the time for all of this.


Speaker B

Be spontaneous in the little things and the big things.


Speaker B

And then he says, I don't often put my thoughts in words.


Speaker B

Your wife or your husband cannot read your mind.


Speaker C

Intentions are good.


Speaker B

They need to hear that you love them, that you appreciate what they're doing, how, how they, how they look with what they're wearing.


Speaker B

You need to be communicating and then demonstrating.


Speaker B

Take the time.


Speaker B

That's another part.


Speaker B

Take the time.


Speaker B

Because I'll tell you this, it's an extreme case, but I was almost killed in a car accident back in 99.


Speaker B

I almost, I was banged up, I got metal in my body and my Main artery going through my neck just barely missed getting cut.


Speaker B

I could have been dead.


Speaker B

What if Linda and I would have had a argument that day?


Speaker B

What if we hadn't been romantic to each other for a while?


Speaker B

We ran out of time.


Speaker B

Linda about three years ago, had a major heart attack with four or five stints, actually died three times.


Speaker B

And that's a whole nother story that she'll share.


Speaker B

I could have been without a wife and going back with the regrets.


Speaker B

Make the most of your time.


Speaker B

In Ephesians 5:16, as it says, make the most of your time.


Speaker B

Be wise with that.


Speaker B

So be spontaneous.


Speaker B

Your spouse can't read your mind.


Speaker B

Take the time to communicate.


Speaker B

Take the time to say I love you and to express your love to your spouse.


Speaker B

So don't have a card like that.


Speaker B

Don't have a card like this.


Speaker B

You want one that says, I always tell you how much I love you and so forth?


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker C

Make your marriage your number one priority, after God, of course, you know, but like Greg says, take the time to do what you need to, what you should do to express your love.


Speaker C

Just be thinking about it, you know, it doesn't have to be any big deal thing or time consuming event, but just, just express your love in a little way with that hug, kiss, you know, on a daily basis, like we said, making it a lifestyle.


Speaker C

And some of it would be examples, like Greg said that sticky note, place it on the bathroom mirror, you know, going, oh, oh, oh.


Speaker B

I got.


Speaker B

I just remember two things Linda did to me for, For First Express when we worked at this.


Speaker B

This was out of ministry in Texas.


Speaker B

We both worked in the same bill.


Speaker B

It was that kcm, Kenneth Copeland Ministries.


Speaker B

We worked out there.


Speaker B

And they had.


Speaker B

The building was set up on wings either side, and there's all the restrooms were in the middle.


Speaker B

Well, one day I had to go to the restroom and I walked in there and there was a big sticky note in the men's bathroom from Linda to me.


Speaker B

And it was like that just totally freaked me out.


Speaker B

It blessed me.


Speaker B

And I actually kind of walked up kind of proud because if anybody else saw that, I was like, I'm the man here.


Speaker B

My wife's giving me.


Speaker B

But I kept thinking, how in the world did she get that sticky note in there?


Speaker B

Yeah, but she got creative.


Speaker B

She.


Speaker B

She put a sticky note in there.


Speaker C

And then one day I didn't go in the bathroom.


Speaker B

I know she did.


Speaker B

She had one of the other guys.


Speaker C

One of the guys.


Speaker C

I said, would you go put this up there?


Speaker C

And.


Speaker C

And it was folded Over.


Speaker C

So other people couldn't see what was written.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker C

But it had his name on it.


Speaker B

So I was his guy thinking, oh, man, I wish my wife would do that for me or something.


Speaker C

Get creative.


Speaker B

One time we were in the gym and Linda had a.


Speaker B

This is years ago.


Speaker B

She was using a personal trainer.


Speaker B

And I was on the other side of the gym and the trainer came over.


Speaker B

She goes, that lady over there, she is saying, you are really looking good, and she wants to talk to you.


Speaker B

I'm thinking, what?


Speaker B

What?


Speaker B

Oh, no.


Speaker C

Yes.


Speaker C

I said, I had my personal trainer walk over to Greg and tell him that he was the most handsome, bulked up guy in the whole gym that night, and I would like to meet up with him.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker C

So we got that fire burning before we ever got home.


Speaker B

Oh, yeah.


Speaker C

Once he realized.


Speaker C

Once he realized what was happening.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker B

Just kind of get in trouble.


Speaker B

She came over, so I didn't, you know, but you just got to get creative, stir those creative.


Speaker B

See, when you're doing this stuff all through the year, you start, you're flirting together.


Speaker B

Everybody say, flirt, flirt.


Speaker B

You're flirting.


Speaker B

You're sending texts, maybe a sexy text.


Speaker B

And you're, you're, you're just doing all these different things that adds passion into your life and that, that's going to open the doors for more and it's going to roll over even to your, your bedroom and your, your love time.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker B

But during the day, you just have a better attitude and it'll put more of a pep in your step.


Speaker B

So work on these things day in and day out.


Speaker B

Anything else on that part?


Speaker C

No, you just ask yourself if you're making your marriage a number one priority in your life.


Speaker C

And go ahead.


Speaker B

Okay.


Speaker B

And the next one says, and this is where we heard this in a movie the other night.


Speaker B

It says, I am too busy being so busy that I don't take the time to look up.


Speaker C

So ask yourself in your marriage.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker B

Ask yourself, are you too busy being so busy that I don't time.


Speaker B

Take time to look up.


Speaker B

So if you're really busy, maybe you need to slow down so you can look up, look around at your family, look around at your marriage and refocus.


Speaker B

Because your marriage needs your attention so its needs can be taken care of.


Speaker B

So don't be so busy that you're too busy to look up and say, what can I do to bring some sizzle to my marriage?


Speaker B

What can I do to bring some love and passion to my marriage?


Speaker B

Well, we've got question number three here.


Speaker C

Okay.


Speaker B

Do you Want to experience romance, A sizzling relationship.


Speaker B

That's fun.


Speaker B

Fulfilling, flirtatious, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually fulfilling with your spouse.


Speaker B

Because as we said in Ecclesiastes 9, 10, put your hand to what you want and do it with all your mouth.


Speaker B

Don't wait for your spouse.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker B

Change it.


Speaker B

Lift your head up.


Speaker B

Refocus and see what you can do to bring the love and romance and Valentine Day lifestyle to your marriage.


Speaker C

You be the one to initiate it.


Speaker B

Yes.


Speaker C

And don't wait on your spouse and.


Speaker C

And realize this also, that there's.


Speaker C

There may be some obstacles.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker C

That will come in, you know, just like life experiences.


Speaker C

And maybe your spouse isn't responding the way that you would like them to respond, you know, or, you know, you might have to adapt your schedule in your life and adjust, but stay the course.


Speaker C

You know, make that decision.


Speaker B

Stay the course.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker B

You do your part.


Speaker B

If there's some issues going on, that's another topic.


Speaker B

But pray, believe God.


Speaker B

But you walk in love and set the standard, and God can work whatever the obstacles are to bring that romance in.


Speaker B

And now the rest of the story for the pool.


Speaker C

That's going to be in episode 16.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker B

No, I said it.


Speaker C

Are you gonna do it at the.


Speaker C

Okay, go for it.


Speaker B

We'll take a couple minutes.


Speaker B

So here we are.


Speaker B

Linda and I got into the pool, probably getting ready to make my move on her watch.


Speaker B

Watching the movie.


Speaker C

The door was locked.


Speaker B

The door was locked.


Speaker B

The kids were on the other end of the house.


Speaker B

We had privacy.


Speaker B

And it started a thunderstorm.


Speaker B

It started.


Speaker C

It was bad.


Speaker B

It was bad.


Speaker B

And all of a sudden, the door had a knock on it, and it was our son, Jason.


Speaker B

He'll.


Speaker C

He'll get mad.


Speaker B

He goes, yeah, he's probably about eight.


Speaker C

Eight or nine, something like that.


Speaker C

I don't even know if it's.


Speaker B

The door started knocking.


Speaker B

I just hollered out, go away.


Speaker C

Yes.


Speaker B

And Jason goes, dad, it's raining.


Speaker B

It's thundering.


Speaker B

I said, I know.


Speaker B

Go away.


Speaker C

He was.


Speaker C

He didn't care for thunderstorms.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker B

He didn't like thunderstorms.


Speaker B

And he goes, I'm scared.


Speaker B

I go, use your faith.


Speaker B

Go away.


Speaker C

What happens to me?


Speaker C

I turned into a mother and not a lover.


Speaker B

Oh, yeah.


Speaker C

Not a lover.


Speaker B

So I go, all right, just.


Speaker B

Just a minute.


Speaker B

So I got out of there, dried off.


Speaker B

So I went over.


Speaker C

I still have my bathing suit.


Speaker C

Yeah, unfortunately.


Speaker B

So I went over, opened the door, and Jason looks there.


Speaker B

Wow, what is that?


Speaker B

He comes over.


Speaker C

I want to get in.


Speaker C

So the next thing you know, he's taller.


Speaker C

He hollers at Tiffany.


Speaker B

No.


Speaker B

Well, yeah, but next thing you know, Linda's in the tub.


Speaker B

He's in the tub.


Speaker B

And I'm just laying on the bed.


Speaker C

And Tiffany's on her way.


Speaker B

And Tiffany's on her way.


Speaker B

And then by the time the night's about over, Jason ended up sleeping in our bedroom.


Speaker B

And me and Linda were in there.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker C

Cause it thunderstormed all through the night.


Speaker B

So my story didn't end up the way I want to.


Speaker B

But there's another but.


Speaker C

Oh, this is episode 16.


Speaker B

Okay, we'll tell that.


Speaker B

Episode 16.


Speaker C

Yeah, tell that in episode what?


Speaker C

The.


Speaker C

The rest of the rest of the story.


Speaker C

And the next day, what happened.


Speaker B

Yeah.


Speaker B

So homework.


Speaker C

Here we are.


Speaker C

Yep.


Speaker C

Okay.


Speaker C

So homework.


Speaker C

Ask yourself how you can be more spontaneous and experience that lifestyle of demonstrating love either in your actions or your words or your deeds.


Speaker C

And the 10 second kiss.


Speaker B

Yep.


Speaker C

Let's do the 10 second kiss.


Speaker B

Throughout the day, set your timer for 10 seconds.


Speaker C

Yep.


Speaker B

Maybe go 15.


Speaker C

It might go longer than.


Speaker B

Especially if you do it on Valentine's Day.


Speaker C

Yeah.


Speaker C

So enjoy your Valentine experience.


Speaker C

Celebrate.


Speaker C

Create some good memories.


Speaker C

And we will.


Speaker B

But celebrate it on the 14th, the 15th, the 16th, wash, rinse, and repeat.


Speaker B

All year long.


Speaker C

All year long.


Speaker C

And remember this, you tell your friends and families about us.


Speaker B

Yes.


Speaker C

And these podcasts.


Speaker B

Yes.


Speaker C

And share that with them.


Speaker B

And with that, well, the next episode we're going to talk about.


Speaker B

Finish this up with eight steps to.


Speaker B

For your romance.


Speaker B

Some keys.


Speaker B

Yes.


Speaker B

So that'll be our next episode.


Speaker C

What is it?


Speaker C

We can be married and love it on purpose.


Speaker A

Thank you for investing into your marriage by listening to the Married and Love it podcast.


Speaker A

Be sure to be a part of the ripple effect of making marriage great by sharing this podcast with other couples to equip them to be married and love it.


Speaker A

Also, subscribe to and follow us on your favorite platform and be sure to check out our website at www.marriedandlovet.com, where you can learn more about Married and Lovett and contact us with any questions or comments that you may have.


Speaker A

And remember with God that you have a future and a hope and you can be married and love it on purpose.